She works for months. Suffering and training for a single day that will stretch on so long it will feel like eternity. But when eternity ended, it was too fast and not enough. Nothing was enough for her. Her husband was not attentive enough. He didn't love her right. He didn't touch her how she thought he ought to. He didn't look how she dreamed. And when the day came, when forever began, he didn't care like I needed. The creature had no desire for such a thing as I, but neither did he. See the difference was she could use me. The greatest thing he couldn't do was turn his kin into a tool. Didn't think about that, did he?
Well, a couple years have passed and he's been replaced. With a man who also doesn't please her, doesn't help her, doesn't do what he promises. But he hits her, he hates her. She liked that. She fought him too. They both die. And I have to watch. And when it's all over I clean up. Not everything. No, not very much. Just myself. I have to pick up all the pieces of myself that escaped through the winds of my screams. I learned too quickly to pick up my dignity from the floor when I made a fool of myself in the war. And when that is not enough, I am assaulted by that creature. Taken to my room and beaten and when she's impatient, I just take it where I am. And dare not cry, it's a death sentence. The thing can't stand the sound of me. So, what else to do but suck it up and pray to entities I know nothing about. Then cradle my doll in my feeble arms when I need most to be held. Whisper quietly to myself when there is no one willing to hear me or to see me.
You know what that does to a thing like me? And when I see the piercing hate in her eyes glaring back at me; have you ever seen something like that? A thing so intense you feel it in your gut and it spooks you into sleepless nights because one day it will be too much. Because that first day was too painful and we almost died. Because I cannot heal her, I cannot save her. I cannot sit still in silence long enough until I do and it becomes too much. Because I do not please her unless I break myself to pieces for her. And I did.
But I can heal myself. I can demand my pieces to join again. I can save myself. And I did.