On the morn amist hung over the water, as thin as gossamer and the wisps of memory. Their voices rose like cinders, swirling up into the purple evening sky. Even breathing was hard, and the air was so cold it hurt to swallow it. A deep longing rose in the black under belly of those once prideful, making one forget all else, silent whispers lurking in the shadows, they woke her with their taunting. (G.R.R.M quote)
When she finally came too, did she truly feel what they endured in their waking hours. The amount of time slipping from her grasp as her desperation slowly sipped its way into the crevices of her mind. It was only then, that she could find escape from the undying agony of another unfed child. She saw as they took their last breath and, in their eyes, did she see her brother. All she could do in order to not follow in their footsteps was look away.
Vhaera was feeling that hunger and in her moments of pride did she choose to act rashly in hopes to quench her own appetite. She was blinded by the pain which was becoming so ever soothing. A distant friend that would not leave. For it reminded her of the powerless little girl she always was.
In the depths of this, isolation can soon turn solace into pity, and pity was death to desire. For even among the gods in the quips of the morning eve do they mourn their losses for what better way than to atone for one's sin, if not by crippling another lover's desire. (G.R.R.M quote)
In the wake of this vigil, she chooses to turn to her head to the one person she deemed unworthy.
"I am weary, I pray you. Doubt has overtaken my desire." Her eyes speak the truth that which her tongue cannot. Alys turns away folding his hands with hers and in this action alone did he finally gain her trust. (ao3 quote)
"I too grow weary of life's excuses. I am tired of flying with only one wing, we are made to endure our burdens like dull knives only allowing the pointiest of tips to persuade us, to embellish in life's simple pleasures." (ao3 quote)
She removed her hands from his and placed it upon her stomach. "I saw our conquest woven into a dragons head." Vhaera told Alys. (I have no idea if I quoted this or wrote it myself. But if I did then the acknowledgment goes to (ao3))
"There was so much blood that even I began to waver. Can we truly claim that we did the right thing if we already know of its outcome?" She was pleading for this to stop, for him to say that there was no need for bloodshed, but she was wrong about so many things. The words of the crow rang through her ears as a final plea to beware. Beware of what she did not know. What children should she be mindful of. It felt as though his warning had double meanings.
"Can you say this to your brother when he returns? That his hunger may never end neither the constant attacks we endure from man or beast. Can you do this?"
"No."
"Then, what choice do we have in the matter?" She nodded helplessly, he was right, but why did it feel as though her vengeance had led her down the wrong path. She did not know what she wanted anymore. "Help me to decide, gather those who are willing, and make those who are not to sit. It's time we leave this place for good." One of his hands, held her by the waist as the other held her hand. He had to help her stand, or she would fall. In the corner of her eye, she could see Aerion and Valeanna. He came up to her and held her other hand. She watched as Valeanna covered her hand slightly away from her. Again, so many things she did not understand.
She took a deep breath and gave a last nod towards Alys before she decided to speak.
"I know that I am at fault for what happened in Asshai, but I did not abandon them." Aerion seemed to tense when she said this. "My brother and seven members of each house followed me willingly. There were perils and dangers all around us and it took longer for us to escape. I too grieve with you, but I cannot be blamed for the decisions made in my absence. What we found may lead to the destruction of thousands, even us. Know that I take no pride in this, but I will do what is demanded of me as the gods designed it, to ensure that my brother and those that remain, live."
She did not say his name, but the guilt was written amongst so many faces. She looked towards Alys for support.
"The dead have no mercy left in them, sweetling, I have seen it firsthand." One of the men spoke in a merciful tone. She did not quite catch his meaning, but nodded nonetheless. "We must remember why we are in this fight," he added. "I myself have forgotten that we do not fight for gold. We fight because our enemy still lives." (Predator: killer of killers/G.R.R.M quote)
It was as though his words saw through her.
Another cut him off as most of the men began to rally behind him. "I give you my most deepest sympathies, but we don't care about the lives that may be lost. If you don't wish to enact this great divinity you and Alys so wish to speak of then what need is there for you to live. Three lives were snatched from a god. Three lives must be repaid. The gods are not mocked by your plight. A good act does not wash out the bad, nor a bad act the good. Each should have its own reward. You are proclaimed as a hero and I a smuggler, but before then we were farmers, and I don't expect to grovel for much longer after I have seen all the wonders of this world. We will build a new ship and leave you where you stand. It matters naught to us of your morality." (G.R.R.M quote)
Another joined in. "No wall can keep you safe," my father had told me this once, before his passing. "A wall is only as strong as the men who defend it. And right now your the only one that makes us weak." (G.R.R.M quote/ Ned talking to Jon)
More and more they broke her down into nothing, but a whisper. Vhaera could not say if they were speaking of themselves or her. She wanted to hide behind Alys's cloak for protection, but she dares not move. She was no longer a little girl.
"Is each of us guilty of the crimes of the others?" A one-handed cripple asked defiantly. "I was once a brave man before they took my arm. Will you forsake us even though you knowingly understand that our bodies will just be added to the pile deeper in the caverns." He spoke to both grounds and what remained was only for her. "Amongst us, those who are still whole shall be your sword, but your innocence must be your armor, but can I dwell on what I scarce remember?" Dread coiled inside him like a snake. (G.R.R.M quote)
Vhaera would have liked to embrace him, if only for a moment; to sit for an hour or a night or the turn of a moon to speak of the dead and mourn. Flies are the dead man's revenge, lest she forget, corpses breed maggots, and maggots breed flies. (G.R.R.M quote/ Caitlyn thinking of Robb/ one of the dorthraki tells Dany about the flies)
"So, tell me this, which is more dangerous, the dagger brandished by an enemy, or the hidden one pressed to your back by someone you never even seen?" The crippled man was testing the waters for her, and she was glad for his approach.
One answered. "The hidden dagger, but three hidden daggers are better than one. The gods do nothing without a purpose.
"Very well, now that our grievances have been told out loud, I believe we are in alignment, but you mustn't forget, I did warn you, all of you."
Before night fall, we must acquire these things. "When is the next full moon?"
"Seven days from now. The quarter moon was only a Sen-night ago."
"Alys explained it to me. I need a few of you to go to the shipwreck and scavenge anything that could be used as a weapon or rope. We must climb our walls together. It will be a difficult task capturing not just one but four wyverns as well as luring the fire-wyrms into its den. We must force their hand. On the night of the full moon some of you will be chosen as sacrifices in order to bring life to creatures that go against nature itself. In the scriptures we found it claims that they will be part fire and winged alike. The sacrifices are needed to bind such creatures to our will."
"Now that I have said it are you still willing?"
Those who were sitting now stood up. "We are willing."
"Forgive me then for wasting everyone's time. I thought this news would be more unraveling, but it seems that since we have nothing left to lose it will make us all that more willing," was all she could say as she watched the men burn their torches as they left a lingering presence of hope and despair. Alys finally had his answer, but even so he did not let go. Tighter was his grip upon her as Aerion lingered at her side unsure of what to do. Again, the warning rang through her body like ice and only the shivers remained as she clutched her stomach.