The days following Jake's emotional slip-up felt heavier than he expected. He had apologized to Jules, who responded with patience and kindness, but the guilt clung to him like smoke. The shame didn't leave when the problem was "solved." It settled into his chest, whispering that he'd failed, again. He found himself replaying the moment on a loop each message he'd sent, each second of silence that followed. Even though Jules had reassured him, Jake couldn't let go of the feeling that he had ruined everything. By the time he arrived at his next session with Dr. Lane, the guilt had curdled into something sharp. "I can't stop beating myself up," he confessed quietly, his voice hoarse from holding it in. "It's like there's a parasite in my chest, chewing me up from the inside." Dr. Lane nodded, listening with that familiar steady calm that always made Jake feel safe enough to speak the hard truths. "Jake," she said gently, "I think this week, we should talk about self-compassion." He furrowed his brows. "Self… compassion?" She smiled. "Yes. It's the practice of treating yourself the way you'd treat someone you love. Right now, you're carrying shame like it's a punishment you deserve. But imagine if Emily came to you feeling this way. Would you speak to her the way you're speaking to yourself?" Jake blinked. The image came fast: Emily, hurting, apologizing for something she regretted. Of course he wouldn't pile on. He'd sit with her. He'd tell her it was okay to be human. He'd remind her that everyone makes mistakes.
"I'd tell her she's not a bad person," he murmured. "That she's just… hurting."
"Exactly," Dr. Lane said. "And that's what you deserve too, Jake. You don't have to earn kindness. Self-compassion is a way to break out of the cycle of self-punishment, it's what actually allows us to grow." The idea sat strangely in Jake's chest. It sounded true. But it also felt so far from what he was used to. "How… do I do that?" he asked. "It starts with awareness," she said. "When your inner critic shows up, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself, What would I say to a friend? Then try saying it to yourself. You might even try writing a letter,something kind, something human. It will feel strange at first, but in time, it gets easier." That night, sitting alone in his room, Jake gave it a try. He picked up a pen, heart heavy, and started writing.
Dear Jake,
I know you're feeling hurt and ashamed right now, like you've messed up beyond repair. But you haven't. You're learning, and that takes time. It's okay to have moments of fear and insecurity. Those moments don't make you a failure. They make you human.
You're allowed to make mistakes. You're allowed to feel afraid. But remember, you're also allowed to forgive yourself and keep trying.
You're stronger than you think.
Love, Jake