"You deserve to die." "I didn't... The one who deserves to die... is me."
Jingwei's pale, slender fingers dug into her face, carving ten bloody lines.
The wounds healed instantly, but the beads of blood dripping from her chin were proof of the ghastly injuries that had just been there.
The fire consumed every inch of skin, burning Nuwa to a pile of ashes.
When the night wind blew, countless embers rose like a sky full of stars, drifting into the great sea behind them, carried forward by the tide.
The next day, Li Mo came to the shore. He stared at the scattered ashes, his mouth open, but not a single word came out.
As promised.
He was to bury Nuwa and Fuxi together in the sea.
Silently, Li Mo gathered Nuwa's ashes from the shore and cast them into the ocean, letting the waves carry them to faraway places.
For the dead, such rituals were meaningless, serving only as a comfort for the living.
The seawater at his feet was a mirror, reflecting the man standing there in reality.
Li Mo's eyes were also a mirror, reflecting the self that others saw.
"Death..." Li Mo murmured, his gaze dimming.
Nuwa could have lived on. For thousands of years, tens of thousands of years...
If she had only been willing, she could have had the immortality that countless people dreamed of. Combined with Fenghuang Down to store her excess memories, she could have lived like a normal person forever.
But why? Why did she choose death?
Fuxi, too. Why did she prefer to die rather than live?
Is living really so painful?
He wanted to know the answer.
---||---
Time flowed like water, and the years passed.
When the sea of time once again lapped at Li Mo's ankles, a ferocious beast was roaring before him, trampling indiscriminately upon plainly dressed farmers.
"Immortal! Immortal! Kill this beast!"
In the Northern Barrens, the monstrous Qiongqi charged toward the people behind Li Mo. Its heavy body thundered across the ground, making the very earth tremble.
The "BOOM, BOOM" of its steps was like deafening thunder in Li Mo's ears.
"...Sorry, I was lost in thought," he mumbled.
Snapping out of his memories, Li Mo slowly extended his right hand toward the charging Qiongqi. The beast swung its massive claws down, intending to shatter his arm.
But as its claws descended, they were caught in an iron grip. The beast was lifted into the air and then slammed violently into the ground.
Again and again, until it was nothing but a mangled pulp of flesh and gore, did he finally stop.
His memories were too cluttered. Li Mo had been away from Jingwei for a long time, and without Fenghuang Down to help manage the overflow, his situation was even more unique than hers.
A normal person's brain only retains certain vivid memories, selectively forgetting the rest and storing them in hidden recesses.
But Li Mo was different. He could clearly remember every single minute, every single second, every event that had ever happened.
This often led to him being unable to distinguish which time he was in. His memories were a chaotic pile of fallen leaves, and only by finding the one that had just landed could he confirm he was living in the present.
At first, there were only a few leaves on the ground, and it was easy to see where a new one fell.
But as the ground became covered, when a new leaf landed, it became incredibly difficult to tell which one it was.
Li Mo started to trace his thoughts back, trying to remember why he was here hunting a Qiongqi—
After Nuwa died, I bid farewell to Jingwei and began wandering across Shenzhou, searching for the reason Nuwa chose death, and for a way that I, too, could die.
Though I didn't know why I was seeking death, I continued on this path day after day, trying constantly.
Later, I passed through a village in the Northern Barrens. The villagers were plagued by the Qiongqi, which would attack periodically and kill them.
I decided to let the Qiongqi try to kill me. So I revealed some of my abilities, making the villagers believe I was an Immortal.
As I predicted, the villagers successfully led me to the Qiongqi. According to the plan, I was supposed to stand still and let it kill me, right?
Li Mo looked down at the bloody mess of the Qiongqi in his hands, now deader than dead, and sighed in frustration.
The plan had failed.
The Qiongqi was just an ordinary Templar-class Honkai Beast. It couldn't kill him.
Li Mo turned to look at the villagers behind him. They were ecstatic, cheering and celebrating the Qiongqi's demise.
"I require payment."
"Please, Immortal, just ask! Whatever our village has, we will give it all to you!" the villagers said eagerly, unconcerned by his demand.
Paying a small price was far better than the whole village being eaten by that beast!
But Li Mo's requested payment left every single villager stunned into silence.
"Grant me death."
"..."
Instantly, the crowd fell silent. Not a single person dared to answer.
Kill THE Mingyue? What kind of joke was that? He was an Immortal who could kill a monstrous beast with ease. How could a mortal possibly kill an Immortal?
Was this some kind of test?
"Immortal, this..."
"This is my only request. I give you three days. Within these three days, do everything in your power to kill me. I will not fight back. But the same method will not work on me twice. You can go back and discuss this. I will remain in the village for these three days and cooperate with you. I hope you won't disappoint me."
With that, Li Mo walked into the village on his own. His calm, detached demeanor made it impossible for anyone to guess his thoughts.
The villagers had never encountered such a bizarre request in their lives.
Li Mo hadn't specified a punishment for failure, but the villagers' discussions grew more and more outlandish.
"If we can't fulfill the Immortal's request, we'll probably lose fifty years of our lives! Fifty years! I'll be in my grave, and all the children in the village will have one foot in it!"
"How can you say that! Didn't you see the Immortal float in the air, with his immense strength and his ability to command fire and lightning? If we can't satisfy him, I'm afraid everyone in the village will suffer the same fate as that Qiongqi beast!"
"Damn it! Out of the frying pan and into the fire! We'd better start thinking about how to satisfy the Immortal's request."
Suddenly, a cacophony of opinions erupted.
Some suggested deadly poison, some suggested being drawn and quartered by five horses, others suggested throwing Li Mo into a cauldron of boiling oil...
All sorts of bizarre methods of death were conceived.
Within two days, Li Mo had experienced them all. But no matter how thoroughly he died, his wounds would heal instantly, and he would revive, good as new within a few breaths.
"Immortal, you have an undying body! How can you possibly be killed... We can't do it."
"You have one day left."
Li Mo tossed out this sentence before returning to his room, leaving the villagers scurrying about like ants on a hot pan, anxiously discussing their next move.
Suddenly, one villager's proposal struck everyone as feasible.
A mortal couldn't kill an Immortal, but a monster could.
"Old Li, that child of yours... Look, we're not planning to banish her, but on one condition: she has to go and kill the Immortal."
Hearing this, Old Li shook his head vehemently. "No, no, she's not a monster! She's my daughter! My daughter doesn't have that kind of power..."
"Hmph! Are you trying to defy all of us? What normal person can summon wind and rain, and control the flow of water? You can't put your own selfish desires before the well-being of the whole village!"
Faced with the villagers' forceful accusations, the man couldn't help but lower his head.
Ever since his daughter had gone to fight a monster wandering outside the village, she had become strange, often staring blankly at the water's surface.
Once, he had woken up in the middle of the night to find her talking to her own reflection in the water basin!
This phenomenon became more frequent as she grew older, until one day, the villagers found out. They all agreed she was an aberration, that she was turning into one of those monsters.
They constantly pressured Old Li to banish her from the village.
He could endure the scorn and ridicule of his neighbors, but when his daughter touched the surface of the lake, the increasingly vacant look in her eyes began to frighten him as well.
If this continued, what if one day his daughter truly became a monster and killed everyone in the village? Could he bear that responsibility?
"I... I understand. I'll have her go kill the Immortal tonight..."
"That's more like it. After it's done, we'll all build a small hut for your daughter outside the village and send her food every few days. Consider it compensation."
That night, as Li Mo lay on his bed, he felt a dampness in the air.
He could hear the villagers' discussions clearly and was quite curious about the girl they believed could kill him.
In a hazy state of sleepiness, Li Mo suddenly felt a chill.
He was about to get up when he realized his chest had been pierced by something soft. Blood flowed from the wound, staining the bedsheets red.
Looking closely, he saw it was water—a blade formed from pure water, which had plunged unimpeded into the spot where his heart was.
"Ngh... Can't you die even with your heart pierced? Then how about this..."
With that, the girl pulled out the water sword and plunged it straight into Li Mo's forehead.
Li Mo: "..."
"This won't kill me."
Li Mo gripped the sword in his forehead. Just as he was about to pull it out, the girl warned him, "Wait! Don't pull it out! You'll die!"
The next second, she realized how absurd her words were. Wasn't this man before her longing for death?
"Honkai Energy..."
Li Mo recognized the girl's ability to control water. For an ordinary person to be able to wield Honkai Energy was extremely rare. Was it an innate talent? Or a lucky coincidence?
In the Previous Era, she would have made a fine warrior.
Mobius is planning to conduct upgrade experiments on a batch of MANTISes at the end of this year, to make their control over Honkai Energy more adept.
I'll probably be in the first batch of test subjects. I can't die anyway, so I'll die a few hundred times until the experiment is perfected, then they can upgrade the others.
End of the year?
"..."
Li Mo clutched his head, his pupils trembling slightly.
When was that?
I'm mixing up the past and present again...
If this keeps up, I'll eventually forget the concept of time altogether. I need to find Jingwei quickly and borrow Fenghuang Down.
I hope Fenghuang Down works on me...
Li Mo hesitated for a few seconds. He had been a subject in an experiment to hypnotize him with Fenghuang Down before, but the conclusion was that it couldn't affect him at all.
But hypnosis was one thing, and partitioning memories was another.
Hypnosis involved pulling one's consciousness into an illusion, while memory partitioning acted on the memory region of the brain.
Li Mo prayed the latter would work on him. Otherwise, finding Jingwei would be pointless.
"What's Honkai Energy?" the girl asked, puzzled.
Li Mo shook his head, pulling his thoughts back to reality.
"That's not something you need to know. The villagers sent you to kill me. You failed. But I would like to know your name."
Li Mo tossed the water sword aside. Once it left their hands, it collapsed into a lifeless puddle in the corner.
"Xiao Yun. My name is Xiao Yun."
"You're lying."
It was just an alias. Li Mo had clearly heard the villagers coercing a man with the surname Li to have his daughter make the attempt.
Hearing Li Mo's calm statement, Xiao Yun quickly explained, "My name really is Xiao Yun now. It used to be Li Dan, but... some bad things happened, so I changed it to Xiao Yun..."
Li Mo looked up at the villagers hiding behind the trees outside the window. Their eyes betrayed an unconcealable fear.
The "bad things" must refer to when she gained the power to control water.
A natural Stigma?
A possibility occurred to Li Mo. A natural Stigma could indeed be activated after exposure to a large amount of Honkai Energy.
If so, Xiao Yun was an incredibly rare genius.
In the Previous Era, she would have undoubtedly become one of the most outstanding MANTISes.
Li Mo had a natural affinity for MANTISes; they were all comrades-in-arms, after all.
"Everyone in this village seems to be afraid of you. This inhuman power is beyond their narrow understanding. They think you've been possessed by a demon. To avoid implicating your family, or perhaps to forge a new identity, you chose to change your name to Xiao Yun."
Li Mo spoke casually, piecing together Xiao Yun's life story from his own deductions.
Xiao Yun lowered her head, not denying it.
Xiao Yun said, "I'm planning to leave the village and join the army. That way, everyone can go back to their old lives."
Li Mo asked, "Joining the army means you could very well die on the battlefield. Aren't you afraid?"
Xiao Yun replied, "If I can achieve great things, there's nothing to be afraid of."
Li Mo pressed, "So your reason for willingly seeking death is to achieve greatness? To serve your country?"
Xiao Yun answered, "Not entirely. I'm not that noble. It's just that if I leave, everyone should be happier than they are now. At least they won't have to live in fear. And if I'm lucky, I can bring honor to my family and make my father proud."
Li Mo nodded, lost in thought. "I see..."
His deep eyes shimmered with a faint, hazy moonlight.
There is a reason, a meaning, behind choosing to die.
It was true for Fuxi and Nuwa, and it was true for my comrades from the Previous Era.
He still didn't understand why Nuwa had abandoned immortality and chosen death, but now, he had an excellent test subject right in front of him.
Perhaps, from Xiao Yun's experience, Li Mo could find the answer he was looking for.
"Your name is Xiao Yun, correct? Since you're prepared to leave the village for everyone's happiness, why not travel with me?"
"Huh? Immortal, why would you say such a thing? A mortal like me... Forgive me for being blunt, Immortal, but a mortal's life is but a hundred years at most. Compared to you, it's like a single drop in the ocean, utterly insignificant. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't accompany you for very long. In the end, you would still be alone. In my humble opinion, you are better suited to saving the common people, leaving behind legends worthy of praise, so that everyone remembers you. That would be the best choice."
"That way, you will never be forgotten."
Xiao Yun bowed, respectfully stating her opinion.
Li Mo had no interest in this suggestion. The more he experienced in this world, the more cluttered his memories became. Too many memories would clash and contradict each other, until he eventually couldn't tell where he was or who was who.
For the time he had left, Li Mo had only two choices.
One was to find Jingwei and borrow Fenghuang Down to solve his memory problems. There was a chance of failure; Fenghuang Down might not be able to partition his memories.
The other was to find a way to die, and a reason to die, choosing it willingly just like Nuwa and Fuxi.
Xiao Yun was Li Mo's reference point in his search for a reason to die.
"I don't care about being remembered."
"But..." Xiao Yun started to say something more, but Li Mo cut her off.
"Say no more. In the life ahead of you, you will not age, nor will you die. I will grant you immortality, which will last until the day you willingly choose to die. During this time, you can do anything you want. Pursue your hobbies, your dreams, your passions... I will not stop you."
"You can charge onto the battlefield and slay our enemies, or you can live a quiet, leisurely life in some remote corner of the world."
"And on the day you wish to leave this world, I need you to tell me your reason for choosing death."
"What do you say? Do you agree?"
Li Mo sat on the bed, his gaze fixed on Xiao Yun with utmost seriousness, not a hint of jest in his tone.
Xiao Yun was taken aback, her stunned expression gradually turning grim.
"Then can the Immortal spare the people of the village?"
Clearly, Xiao Yun was still worried about her failure to kill him. If Li Mo were to become angry and take it out on the village, no one would be spared.
"You have my word," Li Mo said casually. He had never intended to slaughter the village; they had just let their imaginations run wild.
Hearing his agreement, Xiao Yun let out a sigh of relief.
Immortality was an incredibly tempting offer for any mortal, including herself. Who could refuse being forever young, forever vibrant, able to fearlessly try all sorts of things in life?
With this power, she could go to the battlefield in her father's place, protect her country, achieve greatness, win the favor of the king, and earn the praise of the world.
"Alright, I agree!" Xiao Yun answered, her eyes firm, her crimson pupils filled with vitality and ambition.
She seemed to be looking forward to an infinite future.
Once upon a time, Li Mo had seen the same look in Nuwa's eyes.
When she learned that she and her sister Fuxi could live forever, their youth preserved, she was so excited she couldn't sleep all night, dragging Li Mo to the beach to build figurines until dawn.
Li Mo clearly remembered every word she said back then, every bright, joyful smile.
But every one of Nuwa's smiles and frowns had been swept away by the receding tide, returning to the silent ocean, with no sparkling waves under the sun.
When the next tide came, all that washed ashore was dull, lifeless seawater, briny and bitter.
Would Xiao Yun follow in Nuwa's footsteps?
Or would she use her immortality to forge countless bonds in the mortal world, eventually becoming unable to let go, unwilling to die?
Li Mo didn't dare to predict the future. He, too, wanted to see what would become of someone with an endless lifespan.
"Immortal..."
"Just call me Mingyue."
"Um, Brother Mingyue? Can I ask why you want to die? I don't mean to offend, I'm just curious. You endured so many tortures just to die, and you've asked me so much about life and death. I'm really a bit curious."
"...There's no harm in telling you. I had a good friend. She was immortal and lived a happy life, yet she still chose to die. I want to know why. That's all."
"I see... That is indeed puzzling. If someone can laugh happily, they wouldn't want to die so easily, would they? Since ancient times, kings and nobles have sought immortality, nine out of ten of them. I've never heard of anyone who would forsake eternal life, casting aside all their achievements and bonds to willingly embrace death. Uh, I think I've said too much. I'll go say goodbye to the villagers tomorrow. In the future, I will let you know the reason for choosing to die."
Xiao Yun patted her flat chest and swore with confidence.
Suddenly, Li Mo also felt that the future seemed bright and worth looking forward to, and he couldn't help but smile.
"Alright. I look forward to your answer."
Seeing Li Mo smile, Xiao Yun couldn't help but break into an innocent grin of her own.
"Mhm! But I won't want to die that easily! Brother Mingyue, you're in for a long wait!"
Li Mo's kindness made Xiao Yun bold. He wasn't like the villagers who always pressured, belittled, and even slandered her.
Li Mo was like a mirror. However Xiao Yun treated him, he would treat her the same, reflecting the same light, the same attitude.
The next day, Xiao Yun bid farewell to her father and the people of her village, and set off with Li Mo to travel across Shenzhou.
Wielding the sword Ruoshui, gifted to her by Li Mo, Xiao Yun made her debut in the world, testing her blade against all comers and rarely meeting her match. Within years, her footprints covered the ancient continent of Shenzhou, and the number of demons and villains who fell to her sword was countless.
It was the Warring States period, a time of ceaseless conflict. The state of Chu was recruiting soldiers to resist an invasion from the state of Song.
By chance, Li Mo and Xiao Yun were drawn into this protracted war. Li Mo, as a spectator, would not interfere in mortal affairs.
But Xiao Yun was different. She was from Chu, had the ability to control water, and had been granted immortality by Li Mo. So, she resolutely joined the army.
For the next two hundred years, the name of the woman in red, Li Er, and her longsword became a source of terror for the neighboring states.
Xiao Yun won countless honors. The kings of Chu changed from generation to generation, but she remained the great general of Chu, guarding the frontier.
The common people revered her as an Immortal, a title she vehemently rejected. Even when the king advised her that claiming to be an immortal would boost morale, she insisted on being called a humble student of the Immortal.
Later.
Some people were puzzled. With the chaos of the world settled, why wouldn't she return to the capital and enjoy a moment of peace? What was so good about guarding this desolate land when no neighboring state dared to invade Chu anymore?
To this, Xiao Yun never gave a direct answer.
She simply remained at the frontier for a long time, diligently protecting her country.
Every night, she would go to Li Mo's room, drink a bowl of his blood, and share her recent thoughts.
Day after day, year after year.
She was an actor on the stage, and Li Mo was the audience.
As time went on, the smile on Xiao Yun's face gradually vanished. She had experienced too much, killed too much. She was no longer the passionate, patriotic youth with soaring ambitions.
Today's Xiao Yun still had a youthful face, fair and beautiful, her skin like ice and jade, forever in the prime of her life.
But her eyes could no longer hide her exhaustion and weariness.
Living for too long was truly tiring.
There were even times when Xiao Yun exhausted her strength and was pierced through the heart by an enemy's spear. She thought she was finally free, but she would always awaken soon after, unable to die even when she wished for it.
Upon waking, her face would be filled with disappointment, even despair.
This was the pact she had made with Li Mo long ago. Unless she willingly chose to die, Li Mo would save her from the brink of death countless times.
Gradually, Xiao Yun grew more and more numb. Even during the lively New Year celebrations, she wandered the streets like a walking corpse.
All around her were endless, deafening cheers, but there was not a single person she knew.
The commanders she had fought and died alongside had all grown old and passed away. She had personally attended all their funerals.
At the funerals, the hall was filled mostly with elderly people, aside from the deceased's family. Only Xiao Yun remained young, a starkly out-of-place figure among them.
Her comrades-in-arms hobbled, stooped, to their graves, while Xiao Yun walked as briskly as ever, her speech as clear as it had always been.
Every hoarse, heavy "General!" sent Xiao Yun into a trance, as if she were in another world.
Her old village still existed. After Xiao Yun became the great general of Chu, the people of her village also prospered, receiving rewards. At that time, Xiao Yun was too busy with the war, and her hometown was far away—a round trip would take over half a month—so she couldn't go back.
A hundred years later, when Xiao Yun returned in glory, her hometown was already a place of changed things and forgotten faces.
Xiao Yun tried to find a familiar face. None. Not a single person she knew.
Even the villagers who had once slandered her with hateful faces had all passed away.
Finally, Xiao Yun returned to her own home.
She reached out and gently touched the vermilion gate. The red lacquer was beginning to peel. The brushstrokes of the door gods had become blurred and indistinct. The high eaves were covered with unknown spiders and cobwebs.
A light breeze sent a cloud of dust into her face.
Her hand, poised to knock, froze in mid-air. For a moment, she didn't know whether to go forward or back.
The scene of her departure flooded her mind...
After ordering her unfamiliar subordinates to guard the frontier, Xiao Yun returned to the capital to have an audience with the king of Chu, for whom she had devoted her life.
But sitting on the throne was a decrepit old man.
Xiao Yun didn't recognize him at all.
After listening in the court for a long time, she learned that the king she had served had been dead for a long time. This was the fourth generation.
By this point, all of Xiao Yun's relatives and friends were gone.
She had spent the first half of her life rushing about, missing so much. It was only when she looked back that she realized many things were irreversible.
From that day on, Xiao Yun lived in a daze, mechanically training soldiers, drinking blood, and then staring into space.
Until one day, several hundred years after the chaos had settled, Xiao Yun seemed to go mad, using the power of the entire nation to search for traces of an immortal named Jingwei.
Finally, she learned where the Immortal Jingwei was—a thousand miles to the east, on Mount Taixuan.
That night, Xiao Yun took off her battle armor and changed into clothes similar to what she had worn when she left her hometown with Li Mo centuries ago.
That night, Xiao Yun combed her dark hair in front of a mirror. Her glossy black hair was like the finest black satin, soft and smooth, a characteristic unique to a young woman.
She applied her makeup with painstaking care. Heavy layers of powder, a delicate touch of rouge. Her soft bangs fell across her forehead, her hair gathered by a hairpin. She accentuated her eyebrows with a touch of jade-green and brushed a light blush across her cheeks. A small comb ran through her hair, and a beauty mark was placed upon her face. But how she hated it when the makeup was done, for she was all alone.
The bright rouge painted her lips a vermilion red.
For a great general who had killed countless people, it was too flashy. For a wandering warrior, it was too pretentious.
But Xiao Yun applied her makeup meticulously, one stroke at a time, her pupils dilated, her eyes vacant, like a soulless puppet stiffly manipulating her own hands.
Her face was flawless jade, her skin delicate and smooth, her eyebrows long and graceful, her lips crimson and moist...
After finishing her makeup, Xiao Yun pushed open the wooden door to Li Mo's guest room and walked straight in.
Li Mo sat by the window, bathed in moonlight, his eyes closed, as quiet as a painting.
"Brother Mingyue... the promise you made to me back then, does it still count...?"
Xiao Yun's voice was low, completely devoid of the spirited, playful demeanor she once had.
Hearing her words, Li Mo only sensed her exhaustion.
"Yes."
Li Mo responded softly, slowly opening his eyes.
Before him was a stunningly beautiful young woman, her makeup as ornate as a bride's, exquisitely charming.
But he knew Xiao Yun had not come for any worldly matter. Her empty eyes had already told him that.
Li Mo had forgotten exactly how long it had been.
Five hundred years. That number seemed to have been verified with Nuwa and Fuxi as well.
It depended on the individual; perhaps the time could be longer, but not by much.
Over these hundreds of years, Li Mo had witnessed an ambitious warrior become a valiant heroine general, and now, a walking corpse with a heart like dead ashes, filled with the will to die.
Li Mo didn't know the reason for this transformation, but today, he might get the answer from Xiao Yun.
The answer to why... Nuwa had burned to ashes before his very eyes.
Why forsake eternal life?
Why choose death?
What is the meaning?
What is the reason?
"Brother Mingyue, thank you for your companionship over the years."
"I have already arranged for my subordinates to draw a map to Mount Taixuan, as well as the travel expenses and luggage you will need."
"Over these hundreds of years, you've spoken to me of your companion. She, the Immortal Jingwei, is active on Mount Taixuan. After I die, you will at least be able to find your companion and won't be alone..."
Xiao Yun sat down next to Li Mo, her long, slender white fingers intertwined. She slowly closed her eyes, her rosy lips parting slightly.
"I have not forgotten your kindness and your promise, Brother Mingyue. Now, it is time to repay you."
Xiao Yun took out a yellowed letter from her robes. It seemed to have some age to it.
"The answers you seek are all in this letter. I have spent decades writing it, constantly revising and adding to it. I finished it decades ago. All my thoughts are in this letter. I trust it will not disappoint you."
Xiao Yun handed the letter to Li Mo, a relieved smile on her face. Her smile was like a flower in bloom, but sadly, it was an epiphyllum, beautiful but fleeting.
"To be honest, Brother Mingyue, I should have died hundreds of years ago. I only lingered for these extra centuries because I couldn't bear the thought of you being alone after my death, so I searched for traces of the Immortal Jingwei."
"Now that her whereabouts are known, I can die without any regrets..."
Suddenly, Xiao Yun turned to face Li Mo directly, boldly reaching out to touch his cheek.
In her dead eyes, a minuscule trace of warmth appeared, along with a complex mix of emotions.
There was affection, and there was pity.
She could die, but Li Mo had to endure the pain of eternal life forever.
Because she had experienced it, she understood just how torturous it was.
She knew. Li Mo would occasionally suffer from memory confusion, mistaking the past for the present, sometimes not even knowing who was who.
On an average day, he would mistake her for a girl named Nuwa at least three times.
And there were so many other strangers' names that slipped from his lips. He was on the verge of not being able to tell anyone apart, even forgetting what he himself was like—kind, violent, cheerful, gloomy... He had forgotten it all, leaving only coldness and numbness.
Only when he was with someone would he reflect their light.
After she died, where would he go?
An undying, indestructible monster would eventually become completely unrecognizable in the long river of time, forgetting even its original self, becoming a composite of countless cluttered and chaotic memories.
"Have you decided? Once the choice is made, it cannot be undone. Once you're dead, you're really dead," Li Mo asked.
"Yes, I've decided."
"Brother Mingyue, this is the Ruoshui you gave me. Could I trouble you to use it... to see me off on my final journey?"
"Alright."
Li Mo took the Ruoshui sword from Xiao Yun and, without hesitation, plunged it into her heart.
Warm blood slid down the blade onto his hands, and splattered droplets dotted his cold face.
The blood was warm, yet Li Mo felt an icy chill, so cold that his hands couldn't stop trembling.
"Who are you...?"
"...Brother Mingyue, my name... is Xiao... Yun..."
Before she died, the last emotion in Xiao Yun's eyes was a thick, heavy pity.
She saw in the reflection of Li Mo's eyes the constantly overlapping figures of people.
She smiled, a smile laced with sorrow.
On a midsummer night, the incessant chirping of cicadas composed a silent symphony for the late evening.
Xiao Yun's face was ashen. Her body quickly grew cold, collapsing onto the equally cold floor.
For reasons he didn't understand, Li Mo burned Xiao Yun's body to ashes and scattered them into the nearby ocean.
Returning to his room, Li Mo sat in silence for a long, long time.
It was only when a sliver of pale yellow light rose on the horizon, seeping into the room, that he came back to his senses.
He opened the yellowed envelope. Inside was the answer Xiao Yun had left for him—
To read this letter is to see me. May it bring a smile to your face. Wishing you peace in this season and all to come.
I sought death only because I feared that endless life would make me lose my way. These fleeting centuries, I remember them all clearly—my beloved family, all departed; the soldiers I led through life and death, now in the netherworld; the kings I served, one after another replaced. I have long since lost my reason to live.
I no longer have the heart to gaze upon the beauty of the world. I have become as numb and unfeeling as those I once failed to understand, those I once doubted, detested, and despised.
The waves in my heart have calmed, and not a trace of interest remains. I only seek death, to be with my family.
However, you had no home to return to, and I could not bear to leave you. Thus, I lingered for a hundred years more, searching for the Immortal Jingwei.
Now that she has been found, I can leave you and return to the path whence I came.
May you find joy in this life. But alas, in these vast lands, you have no old friends left.
—Xiao Yun.