Ruan's eyes fluttered open to the dim light above his head. He tried stretching his arms but noticed one was tucked beneath Jax's head, which was covered with a blanket. A smile curved his lips as he gently pulled the cover away.
Jax looked peaceful—adorable, even. So different from how tense he'd been on the plane, eyes flickering with worry every time he glanced at Ruan.
"So cute," Ruan whispered, gazing at him. The gentle curve of his full lips, the slight uptilt of his nose, and the thick dark lashes made Ruan's fingers itch to trace his face. But he hesitated, not wanting to wake him.
He withdrew his hand and instead reached for the phone and menu beside the bed. His stomach had been growling since they arrived, but exhaustion had knocked him out before he could even think about food. It was nearing nighttime now, and he couldn't hold back the hunger any longer. Jax was likely starving too—they'd both passed out from the road trip.
After reading the menu, Ruan ordered a variety of dishes, hoping Jax would like something. While waiting, he leaned against the headboard and kept watching him. His mind wandered.
How was he supposed to survive six months like this?
With Jax constantly by his side, it felt like torture. Being so close, yet unable to touch him. Kiss him. Run his hands through his curls. Or worse—take him apart, love him wild and soft all at once.
He knew he shouldn't be thinking like this.
Jax was his manager. He was here for the job. For the money. And eventually, he'd leave, like everyone else did. Still, Ruan couldn't deny the pull he felt toward him. It was magnetic.
Dangerous.
He studied him, eyes filled with quiet longing. He didn't know what this feeling was. But he knew one thing—he wanted him. Badly.
A knock interrupted his thoughts.
He gently tapped Jax's shoulder. "Hey," he whispered.
Jax stirred, yawned, and blinked up at him. When he realized their position, he jerked upright, startled. "What's happening?"
The knock came again.
"I ordered food. It's here," Ruan said with a small smile as he got out of bed.
"I'm sorry," Jax muttered. "I should've done that."
"It's fine." Ruan chuckled, waving it off. He opened the door and greeted the hotel staff wheeling in a tray of food.
"Thank you."
"Yes, sir. Let us know if you need anything else," the staff said politely before leaving.
When Ruan turned around, Jax was stretching beside the bed, arms raised over his head. His shirt lifted slightly, exposing toned abs—and Ruan stared. Until Jax caught him looking.
He quickly turned away and gestured to the tray. "Let's eat."
They sat and ate in silence. Ruan kept stealing glances, studying the way Jax's lips moved, how focused he looked while eating. It was oddly calming.
After they finished, Jax set the tray aside and went to sit by the desk. Ruan walked over to the window and stared out at the glittering view of the city.
It reminded him of home—his penthouse in Spectra City. But the lights there came with a price. The fans. The media. The constant stalking. The noise.
"Thank you for ordering. I'll make sure to do it next time," Jax said.
Ruan turned around, amused. "Say what? No one's punishing you. We're both tired, Jax."
"But it's my duty, isn't it?"
"As my manager?" Ruan asked, sitting back on the bed and lying down with a groan. "I'm not some spoiled celebrity who can't do things on his own. I know you probably judge me from what you've seen online, but trust me—I'm not the person the media paints."
Jax was quiet for a moment. Then he asked, "So… what kind of person are you?"
Ruan blinked. That question hit harder than expected. No one ever asked that.
He exhaled, staring at the ceiling. "I wouldn't say I'm not wild. I've done… a lot of things. But not the kind you see in the news. That's exaggerated crap. The truth is… I don't even know what kind of person I am anymore."
Jax shifted in his seat, looking at him.
Ruan expected the usual look—judgment, pity. But Jax's eyes held something softer.
Compassion.
It unnerved him.
"What about you?" Ruan asked, trying to shift the attention. "Why become a manager?"
Jax chuckled, scratching his head. "My life's boring. Nothing worth telling."
Ruan raised a brow. "You asked me. Now it's your turn."
"Alright," Jax said with a sigh. "Well, after college, I just… wanted to be around the industry. I was curious about what really went on behind the cameras. I knew it wasn't all glamor, but I needed to see for myself."
"And now you've seen it's all mess," Ruan muttered. "It's tough. You mess up once—or not even—and suddenly you're in a scandal."
He paused. "Scandals that aren't even true."
Jax looked at him, but stayed silent.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" Ruan asked.
"Have you ever resented being an idol?" Jax asked. "Ever hated it?"
"Most of the time," Ruan said quietly.
"Especially now. I feel like I'm suffocating. I hate the spotlight. I hate the lies."
"So… how do you escape that?" Ruan tensed.
Was Jax trying to get into his head? Use it against him? He'd trusted too many people before—and it always ended the same way.
Betrayal.
Even if Jax seemed different… he couldn't afford to trust him.
Not yet.
"I think we should sleep," Ruan said instead. "We've got an early start."
He turned away and pulled the blanket over himself.
"Did I say something wrong?" Jax asked softly. "If I—"
"Go to bed, Jax," Ruan muttered, not turning back.
"…Alright. Goodnight."
Jax said nothing else. When he didn't immediately come to bed, Ruan wondered if he'd gone too far. They were just talking… and he had to ruin it because he couldn't let himself trust someone.
He shut his eyes, tossing and turning as sleep eluded him. From time to time, he stole glances at Jax, who was now focused on his laptop.
Eventually, Jax closed the laptop and lay down beside him. Only then was Ruan finally able to close his eyes and fall asleep.