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Chapter 32 - Chapter 32: The Weight of the Morning After

The first rays of morning light crept through the wooden slats of the small house, casting long shadows across the floor. The warmth of the fire had faded, replaced by the crisp chill of dawn.

Kaizen lay awake, his golden eyes staring at the ceiling. His body was still tangled with Aoi's, her soft breaths steady beside him. He could feel the warmth of her skin, the slow rise and fall of her chest.

But his mind was far from at ease.

What had he done?

He exhaled quietly, running a hand through his hair. He wasn't a man who regretted his choices—he had done far worse things in his life than spending the night with a woman. And yet, this was different.

Aoi wasn't just anyone.

She was someone who had seen him for more than his past, someone who had dared to care for him despite the weight of his sins. She had given him warmth in a world that had only ever given him cold.

And now, she was in danger because of it.

Aoi stirred beside him, a small sigh escaping her lips. Then, slowly, her eyes fluttered open. She blinked up at him sleepily before a soft smile curved her lips.

"Morning," she murmured.

Kaizen swallowed, forcing himself to meet her gaze.

"Morning."

Aoi stretched slightly, her fingers grazing over his chest before she let out a quiet hum. "You look like you're overthinking something."

Kaizen hesitated. He wasn't used to someone reading him so easily.

Aoi smirked. "You're terrible at hiding it."

He sighed. "I... shouldn't have let this happen."

Her expression faltered, but only for a moment. "Because you don't want it? Or because you're afraid?"

Kaizen's jaw tightened. "You know why."

Aoi sat up, pulling the blanket around her shoulders. She studied him carefully, her expression unreadable.

"I knew what I was getting into, Kaizen," she said quietly. "I knew that being close to you meant stepping into something dangerous."

"That's the problem." Kaizen sat up as well, running a hand down his face. "You shouldn't have to live like that. I shouldn't have let you."

Aoi shook her head. "And what if I don't care? What if I want this, despite the risks?"

Kaizen's hands clenched into fists. "You don't understand—"

"Then make me understand."

He looked at her, truly looked at her, and for a moment, he almost told her everything—the depths of his past, the weight of the demons inside him, the inevitability of blood that followed him wherever he went.

But he couldn't.

Because the more she knew, the closer she got, the more she would be dragged into the storm that was already brewing on the horizon.

Kaizen exhaled sharply, looking away.

Aoi reached out, gently placing a hand on his. "Kaizen... I'm not Sayuri."

His entire body tensed at the name.

"I'm not going to leave you the moment things get difficult," Aoi continued. "I'm not going to turn my back on you."

Kaizen closed his eyes. "And what if I become the reason you suffer?"

Aoi smiled softly. "Then I guess we'll suffer together."

For the first time, Kaizen had no response.

The Unspoken Truth Between Brothers-in-Arms

Later that morning, Kaizen left Aoi's home, needing air. The village was already awake, people tending to their morning duties. The scent of burning wood and fresh rice filled the air.

He walked aimlessly, his thoughts heavy. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now.

Then, he spotted Itsuro.

The assassin monk was sitting near the village outskirts, sharpening his blade with slow, calculated strokes. His expression was unreadable, but his golden eyes flickered with something dangerous.

Kaizen sighed, knowing that look.

"You already know," he muttered, stopping a few feet away.

Itsuro didn't look up. "Not hard to figure out. You weren't in your own damn house this morning."

Kaizen leaned against a nearby tree, crossing his arms. "You have something to say?"

Itsuro finally set his blade down, resting his forearms on his knees. He studied Kaizen for a long moment before scoffing.

"I warned you," Itsuro said. "Told you to stop getting attached. But no, you had to go and play house with a village woman."

Kaizen frowned. "It's not that simple."

Itsuro snorted. "It never is." He tilted his head. "Tell me something, Kaizen. Do you even know what you want?"

Kaizen hesitated.

Itsuro leaned forward. "Because if you don't, you're going to hurt that woman in there more than any enemy ever could."

Kaizen clenched his jaw. "I don't want to hurt her."

"Then make up your damn mind." Itsuro stood, tucking his blade away. "Because the moment you hesitate—when the time comes—someone else will make the choice for you."

Kaizen watched as Itsuro walked past him, disappearing into the village.

He hated that he was right.

He hated that, despite everything, he didn't know if he could truly allow himself to want this.

Because in the end, everything Kaizen touched always ended in blood

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