Chapter 64: MONKEYS (And Bai Gu Mountain)
SKY CRANE VS. BLOOD WIGHT (IT'S GIVING FINAL BOSS FIGHT)
High in the sky, the winds roared like a Tiktok live with bad mic quality.
Lord Sky Crane (SCREAMING LIKE A RATTLED KAREN): "DIE!" —turns into a white light, crashing towards First Gen Gu Yue like a failed OnlyFans career.
First Gen Gu Yue (BLOOD WIGHT MODE ACTIVATED): "You're too naive to think of killing me." —fangs out, charging like a Walmart scooter at full speed.
BOOM!
Explosion so loud it made Twitch chat spam 💀💀💀.
Both got YEETED backward, looking like two NPCs after a failed raid.
First Gen Gu Yue (laughing like a villain who just won the gacha): "As long as the mountain remains, water continues to flow." Junior brother, remember today's grudge, I will repay it someday." —activates bat wings, tries to dip.
Suddenly—
Iron Beak Flying Crane King (appearing like a jumpscare): "GYATT DAMN, YOU THOUGHT?!"
First Gen Gu Yue (malding): "NOT DEAD? SKILL ISSUE!"
Lord Sky Crane (sigma male energy): joins the fight, pincer attack engaged.
Result:
Flying Crane King: Corpse fell like a dropped Fortnite build.
Blood Wight: Absolutely COOKED.
First Gen Gu Yue's head: Held like a trophy in Lord Sky Crane's hand.
Lord Sky Crane: Laughs three times, then cries like a streamer who lost their sub streak.
IMMORTAL CRANE SECT DEBRIEF (NPCs MALDING OVER FANG YUAN'S ESCAPE)
Scene: A room so ancient it looked like a Minecraft stronghold.
He Feng Yang (Supreme Elder, Rank 6, built like an OP gacha character):
Face smooth as an Instagram filter.
Eyebrows longer than Discord mod rants.
Dark eyes staring like a TOS violation.
Lord Sky Crane (standing there like a scolded employee): "I am here."
He Feng Yang: "You killed the traitor but lost the Blood Skull Gu? Got clowned by two Rank 1 juniors? 💀💀💀"
Lord Sky Crane (NPC behavior): Head down, shame activated.
He Feng Yang (raising an eyebrow): "But one had Northern Dark Ice Soul Physique… understandable. Now, the twin you brought back—Fang Zheng—really hates his brother?"
Lord Sky Crane (evil grin): "Oh, he malds HARD. Showed him footage of Fang Yuan slaughtering their clan, and bro was ready to throw hands ON SIGHT."
He Feng Yang: "You got a plan?"
Lord Sky Crane (sigma mode):
Lifespan running out like a F2P player's patience.
Spent all his savings on a Spirit Incubating Flea (basically a soul-bound Twitch mod).
Gonna gaslight Fang Zheng into killing Fang Yuan and retrieving the Blood Skull Gu.
He Feng Yang (nodding like a wise anime mentor): "Go ahead, but 20 years max."
Lord Sky Crane (exiting like he just got unbanned): "Within twenty years, I will attain success!"
TIE CLAN CITY (IT'S GIVING RIGHTEOUS NPC VIBES)
Location: Wan Cheng Mountain, Southern Border.
Tie Ruo Nan (standing like an MC after a tragic backstory):
Sad but determined eyes.
Sigma female energy activated.
Staring at the Demon Suppression Tower (biggest flex in Southern Border).
Tie Clan Leader (uncle vibes): "You've asked me 19 TIMES to avenge your dad. Chill."
Tie Ruo Nan (main character speech):
"Father walked the path of justice. Now, I'LL WALK IT FOR HIM."
Demon Suppression Tower (in the background): Menacing aura like a Rank 6 Gu Master's Twitter bio.
FANG YUAN & BAI NING BING (SIGMA GRINDSET CONTINUES)
Chen Cui Hua (demonic female Gu Master, already crashing out):
Poisoned, weak, no healing Gu.
Fighting a Twin-Headed Boar (absolute unit).
Fang Yuan (spectating like a Twitch mod):
"She's out of primeval essence… WAIT, HOW IS SHE STILL GOING?"
Realizes she has Third Watch Gu (time moves 3x faster for her).
Bai Ning Bing (stealth mode activated):
Uses Stealth Scales Gu (giving Predator vibes).
One-shots Chen Cui Hua mid-fight. "GET COOKED."
LOOT ACQUIRED:
Rice Bag Grass Gu (food meta).
Iron Thorn Thistle Gu (defense build).
Charred Thunder Bean Mother Gu (AOE damage).
Third Watch Gu tattoo (lifespan -66%, but GRINDSET +300%).
Bai Ning Bing (disappointed): "No healing Gu… are we gonna end up like her?"
Fang Yuan (sigma speech):
"Everyone walks their own path. Hers was weak. OURS IS DIFFERENT."
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Lord Sky Crane on a 20-year sigma mission to gaslight Fang Zheng.
Tie Ruo Nan preparing her righteous arc.
Fang Yuan & Bai Ning Bing still lacking heals but built different.
Twitch Chat Reactions:
🐍 "FANG YUAN'S RIZZ TOO STRONG"
💀 "BRO REALLY SAID 'LIFESPAN DIFF' AND LEFT"
🍿 "TIE RUO NAN VS. FANG YUAN WHEN??"
FANG YUAN'S CULTIVATION GRINDSET (IT'S GIVING PRIMEVAL ESSENCE SPEEDRUN)
Fang Yuan's Aperture:
Jade green primeval essence waves crashing like a Twitch streamer's emotions.
Rank 1 Initial Stage → Middle Stage (Water Walls Unlocked).
*No Liquor Worm = suffering like an F2P player.*
Fang Yuan (thoughts): "If I had that Liquor Worm, I'd be speedrunning this cultivation like a Rank 1 Smurf account."
Regret Level: Destroying the third Liquor Worm to avoid Tie Clan's investigation (still worth it).
Current Dilemma:
Four Flavor Liquor Worm (Rank 2 only, useless right now).
Reverse Refinement Options:
Prodigal Son Gu (2x Rank 1 Liquor Worms) → Impossible (too rare).
Revert Gu (1x Rank 1 Liquor Worm) → Doable (but gotta find it first).
Butterfly Transformation Gu → Gets you an Eerie Qi Butterfly (???).
Unpredictable Gu → Gacha pull (might get a Skibidi Gu for all we know).
Fang Yuan's Sigma Thought Process: "Survival > Efficiency. Gotta level up FAST."
BAI NING BING'S THORNY FASHION ARC
Bai Ning Bing's Fit:
Iron Thorn Thistle Gu (Rank 3 Grass Gu) → Turns into a "Thistle Shirt."
Steel-like thorns for defense + offense.
Looking like a villainess from a dark fantasy anime.
Bai Ning Bing (complaining): "Ugh, why'd you bury so many Charred Thunder Potatoes? Walking back is like a Mario level!"
Fang Yuan (deadpan): "Better safe than sorry."
MONKEY BRAIN DELICACY (FANG YUAN THE ULTIMATE CHEF)
Scene: Cave. Grass Skirt Monkeys tied up, screaming like Twitch chat during a jumpscare.
Fang Yuan (holding Blood Moon Gu): "Today's menu: LIVE Monkey Brain."
Process:
Blood Moon Gu (Rank 3) → Used like a laser scalpel.
Cuts open monkey's skull (no anesthesia).
Scoops brain out WHILE MONKEY IS STILL ALIVE.
Eats it RAW.
Bai Ning Bing (hesitant at first): "Raw? That's kinda…"
Fang Yuan (demonstrating): Scoops brain → Eats → Monkey spasms like a glitched NPC.
Bai Ning Bing (tries it): "GYATT DAMN, THIS SLAPS!"
Texture = Silky tofu.
Taste = Sweet, grassy, refreshing.
Monkey's suffering = Adds flavor.
Fang Yuan (smirking): "Only Grass Skirt Monkeys have brains this good."
Other Monkeys (panicking): "SKIBIDI NOOO—"
GRILLED MONKEY MEAT (SECOND COURSE)
Breast meat = Succulent, like bamboo-leaf fish.
Rice Bag Grass Gu → Insta-grows rice leaves (self-sustaining king).
Bai Ning Bing (full and satisfied): "Eating till full is satisfaction."
PLOT PROGRESSION (MONKEY KING DLC INCOMING)
Fang Yuan: "What's the situation with the Grass Skirt Monkeys?"
Bai Ning Bing:
"If we stay on the outskirts, we're fine."
"But the CENTRAL FOREST has THREE MONKEY KINGS."
"The wine you want is there—gonna be HARD to get."
Fang Yuan (grinning): "Then we'll just have to COOK them too."
TWITCH CHAT REACTIONS:
🐒 *"BRO REALLY MADE A 5-STAR MEAL OUT OF A MONKEY'S SUFFERING"*
🍚 "RICE BAG GRASS GU = INFINITE FOOD HACK"
💀 "FANG YUAN'S CUISINE IS JUST NPC TORTURE WITH EXTRA STEPS"
MONKEY WINE LORE DUMP (REN ZU'S DRUNK ARC)
Legend of Ren Zu's Kids:
Verdant Great Sun (Simp for his sister Desolate Ancient Moon).
Wisdom Gu (Playing 5D chess): "Go drink monkey wine, maybe you'll stop being cringe."
Monkey Wine Tasting Speedrun:
Honey Peach Monkeys → Sweet Wine (Verdant Great Sun's cheeks rosy like a TikTok filter).
"So, wine is sweet."
Psychic Monkeys → Bitter Wine (Tongue stained yellow-brown like a vape addict).
"So, wine can also be bitter."
Vajra Monkeys → Strong Wine (Drank till he vomited, hair caught fire).
"Everything should be taken with moderation."
Skywater Monkeys → Clear Wine (Forgot his problems, ascended to vibe realm).
"Having known the joys of wine, I will not pass it on to those who are sober."
Moral: Monkeys invented wine before humans—stay humble. 🍷🐒
FANG YUAN'S MONKEY WINE GRIND (IT'S GIVING WAR CRIMES)
Objective: Steal Monkey Wine (for reverse-refining Four Flavors Liquor Worm).
Problem:
Grass Skirt Monkey Tribe:
Hundred Beasts Group (but almost Thousand Beasts level).
Three Monkey Kings (absolute units).
Bai Ning Bing (Rank 3 Peak Stage) ≠ Enough to solo.
Fang Yuan (Rank 1 Middle Stage) = Basically NPC stats right now.
Solution: SIGMA TRAP MASTERMIND ARC.
STEP 1: DIG A WAR CRIME PIT
Location: Sunny slope (optimal for monkey aggression).
Depth: 30 feet.
Diameter: 50 feet.
Contents: Charred Thunder Potato Gu (Rank 2 Explosives).
Bai Ning Bing (confused): "Why bury them so deep? Won't they not explode?"
Fang Yuan (smirking): "Skill issue."
Process:
Bury Potato Gu → Fertilize soil → Let it grow to fist size.
Cover with dirt → Repeat.
Final Layer: Surface-level bait (young monkeys screaming).
STEP 2: BAIT THE MONKEYS (IT'S GIVING WARCRIMES)
Capture baby Grass Skirt Monkeys.
Eat their brains LIVE in the pit (max suffering = max aggro).
Monkey horde arrives (NPC behavior).
Result:
First Wave (Normal Monkeys): Bai Ning Bing claps them.
Second Wave (Monkey Kings): Step on buried potatoes → BOOM. 💥
Casualties:
2/3 Monkey Kings = Insta-gibbed.
1 Monkey King = Escaped (but malding).
Gu Worms = Gone (F in chat).
STEP 3: LOOT THE WINE (SIGMA MINDSET)
Tusita Flower Storage = Filled to the brim.
Enough wine for:
Reverse-refining Liquor Worm.
Feeding Four Flavors Liquor Worm (2 years' worth).
Selling for profit (if they find a caravan).
Bai Ning Bing (exhausted): "Do we REALLY need to fill the pits back in?"
Fang Yuan (cold stare): "Remember how we chased Chen Cui Hua? Tracks matter."
Bai Ning Bing (realizing): "Oh. OH."
TWITCH CHAT REACTIONS:
💣 "BRO BUILT A MINEFIELD FOR MONKEYS"
🍷 *"FANG YUAN'S WINE SPEEDRUN = 100% WARCRIME ROUTE"*
🐒 "MONKEYS WENT FROM BANANAS TO BOMBS REAL QUICK"
BAI GU MOUNTAIN (IT'S GIVING SKELETON AESTHETIC)
Fang Yuan & Bai Ning Bing: Standing on a slope, looking like they just survived a Walmart parking lot brawl.
Clothes: Rags (sigma grindset drip).
Energy: "We just outran a family of Steel Rage Boars (Grandpa was a Thousand Beast King 💀)."
Bai Gu Mountain:
Not snow-white, but BONE-white.
Every rock = Literal bones.
Home to:
Bone Beasts (zombie animals?).
Bone-Type Gu Worms (spooky meta).
Future Bai Clan HQ (they don't know yet).
Bai Ning Bing (side-eyeing Fang Yuan): "Why are we HERE? What's your angle?"
Fang Yuan (inner monologue): "Gotta secure that Flesh Bone Lord inheritance—Bone Flesh Unity Gu = OP dual cultivation hack."
FLASHBACK: FUTURE BAI CLAN LORE
Bai Sheng & Bai Hua (twin prodigies): Stumble upon Flesh Bone Lord's cave at 18.
Inheritance Includes:
Jade Bones Gu (upgrades skeleton to premium stats).
Flesh White Bones Gu (Rank 3 healing = unkillable sigma).
Bone Flesh Unity Gu (DUAL CULTIVATION RIzz with Bai Ning Bing??).
Fang Yuan's Priority: "If I get that Gu, my cultivation speed will make Liquor Worm look like a joke."
OH SHIT, RIGHTEOUS GU MASTERS (TIE CLAN MALDING INCOMING)
Suddenly— Four Gu Masters land like Karens at a Walmart.
Leader: Rank 3 Elder (NPC energy).
Others: Rank 2 Side Characters (expendable).
Bai Ning Bing (panicking internally):
"My Chainsaw Golden Centipede is DULL."
"Fang Yuan is still Rank 1 Middle Stage (useless)."
"We're COOKED."
CUT TO: TIE AO TIAN'S FAILURE SPEEDRUN
Tie Ao Tian (Tie Clan's 4th Young Master):
Aptitude: A-grade (main character vibes).
Mission: Avenge Tie Xue Leng (failed).
Current Squad: From 8 → 3 (skill issue).
How They Got Clapped:
Six-Legged Crocodiles: *Territorial beef = lost 2 members.*
Xuan Yuan Divine Pheasant: *Random boss fight = 3 more dead.*
Investigation Gu Master: Got eaten (critical L).
Tie Ao Tian (copium): "These sacrifices prove my iron will! Once I catch Fang Yuan, it'll all be worth it!"
TRACKING ARC (NPCs ON COPIUM)
Tie Clan Squad Finds:
Grass Skirt Monkey Corpses (Fang Yuan's leftovers).
Traces: "We're getting closer!"
Tie Ao Tian (dramatic sunset speech):
"Though the sun sets… I see HOPE in its light!"
NPCs Glazing Him:
"Fourth Young Master is HIM!"
"Future Clan Leader material!"
"I'll follow him FOREVER!"
BOOM. (IT'S GIVING KARMA)
Tie Ao Tian: Steps on a Charred Thunder Potato Gu (Fang Yuan's leftover trap).
Result:
💥 EXPLOSION.
💀 Entire squad = Insta-gibbed.
📉 Tie Ao Tian's clan leader dreams = Gone.
Twitch Chat Reactions:
🐒 "MONKEYS GOT THEIR REVENGE"
💣 "FANG YUAN'S TRAPS ARE TOO OP"
🍿 "TIE CLAN'S L STREAK CONTINUES"