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26 December 1991
"Harry!" whispered Theo urgently. Harry grunted and rolled over to see his friend standing next to his bed, though why he was whispering in an otherwise empty room was a mystery.
"What is it, Theo?" asked Harry grumpily, still half-asleep. "And what time is it?"
"Never mind that now," the other boy said at a more normal volume. "I found something... something strange. And ... I really need you to take a look at it and tell me what it means. Please?"
Harry felt around in this dark for his glasses and wand and then cast a Lumos and Tempus. "Theo! It's nearly 3 o'clock in the morning!" he said irritably. "What could you want me to see that can't at least wait until dawn?"
"It can't wait, Harry. Please, just come with me." It was at that point by the dim light of the Lumos spell that Harry realized his friend had been crying.
"Theo, what's happened? Tell me what's going on?" he asked, suddenly alert and wary.
"I can't just explain it – you wouldn't believe me. That's why I want you to come see for yourself. It's ... I think it's possible that I've gone crazy, so I want someone ... sensible ... someone I trust to back me up and tell me if what I found is real or not." Theo could see Harry's hesitation in the gloom. "Harry, in all the time we've been friends, I've never asked you for anything. But I'm asking you now, please come with me."
Harry studied his friend. It was true that Theo, shy as he was, had never made any demands on Harry's friendship. Not even after the loan of his Notice-Me-Not ring to aid in rescuing Neville at Halloween. At the time, Harry had not fully appreciated how precious a gift that was. The ring was a Nott family heirloom. It was supposed to be with Theo's brother Alexander at Durmstrang, but Alex was intensely if discretely protective of his younger brother and secretly gave him the ring, a Rememberall and several other magical items which Tiberius Nott had intended for his Heir Presumptive. The elder Nott would be furious to know that Theo had the ring at all, and Harry shuddered at the thought of his reaction if he ever learned that Theo had given it to a Potter in order to help rescue a Longbottom.
"Do I at least have time to get dressed?" he asked wearily. Apparently not, as seconds later, the two exited the dungeon in pajamas, robes and slippers, though Harry insisted on donning his wand holster. Five minutes later, Theo led Harry into an empty dust-covered classroom in an unused wing of the school. In the middle of the room was a large and rather ornate free-standing mirror, standing about four-feet wide and twice as tall. Theo pointed at it excitedly and started in that direction, but Harry quickly grabbed him by the shoulder. "No. I've followed you here after curfew, but I'm not going near that thing until you tell me what's going on. How did you even find this room?"
Theo looked embarrassed. "Well, I was feeling a bit hungry during the night – you know I have trouble sleeping – so I sneaked over to the kitchens for a snack. One of the upper years who's friends with Alex told me how to find it and how to get in. On my way back, Mrs. Norris saw me, and I thought Filch might catch me, so I ran. I got turned around, and when I thought I heard them behind me, I ducked in here. That's when I found her."
"Her?"
Theo nodded excitedly and pulled free of Harry's grasp. He ran across the room to stand in front of the mirror with a rapturous expression on his face. Cautiously, Harry followed him more slowly into the gloomy, dust-covered room. About halfway across the room, he jumped at the sound of the door creaking behind him. He'd forgotten that he'd left it open partially. Slowly, he turned back towards Theo and moved to join his friend, waving away the dust and cobwebs while mentally steeling himself for whatever image the mirror showed.
"Isn't she beautiful," Theo said softly. And she was, with her brilliant red hair and dazzling green eyes only a shade darker than Harry's own. His only question was why Theo was so entranced by Lily Potter. Well, that and why Theo was ignoring the other three figures in the mirror – James Potter, Jim Potter, and Harry himself. But then Harry had never seen a reflection of himself like this one: healthy, happy and thrilled to be in the company of the other Potters. He still wore Slytherin robes, just as Jim wore the colors of Gryffindor, but there was no hint of animosity over it on the part of either twin. The brothers each had an arm over the other's shoulder as if they were the best of friends. James, in his auror's robes, affectionately rubbed his fingers through Harry's hair, mussing the perfect Sleekeasy hairstyle, but Harry only laughed as if used to it. And Lily looked back and forth at her three boys (for James's easy laugh made him look like an overgrown boy playing dress-up as an auror) in the very picture of maternal love. Theo was right – she was beautiful.
"This is what it should have been. This is the life we all should have had," Harry thought in wonderment.
Then, Theo spoke again, almost dreamily. "So beautiful. Why did she have to die, Harry?"
Theo's words sliced through the train of Harry's thoughts like a jagged knife, and out of sheer reflex, Harry initiated the basic self-diagnostic techniques that had comprised the first lesson of his introductory Occlumency training. "Wait, what? Lily's still alive. So what is Theo talking about? Some other woman? Of course. He sees someone else in the mirror, someone he loves as much as I love my family. So we see different things. I see that my family loves me, and he sees that someone he loves who died. But ... that means that what he's seeing isn't real. And if he is seeing something impossible then ... what I see ... is impossible too. They look like they love me. Impossible. They look like they accept me. Impossible. I look like I love them. Impossible. It's all a lie. Nothing but IMPOSSIBLE LIES!"
With a low guttural cry like a wounded animal, Harry turned his face from the mirror and staggered a few steps away, dropping to his hands and knees as he fought the urge to vomit. And it hurt! It had been physically painful to rip himself out of the comforting fantasy that beckoned within the mirror. Even now that he knew it was a deception, he still wanted to go back and look at it again. From somewhere behind him, he thought he heard a movement and in a flash, his wand was out panning the room. But there was nothing there – just his imagination playing tricks, the pounding of his heart making him jumpy.
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