My dreams are chaotic. Flickering. Images of factories, of space ships, of school. They're whirling by my face so quickly that I can't process them. They don't mean anything. They just are. I can't move. Can't run. I'm stuck, floating in the center of all of this, surrounded by things I can't make out clearly. The world is spinning.
It makes me dizzy, makes me want to be sick. My heart is racing and my palms are sweating. My chest feels tight, but I still can't move.
Everything feels wrong, like this isn't the way things should be.
The images are too blurry and fast to make sense of, and I'm not even sure what I'm seeing at all.
I want it to stop.
Please...
It hurts to think.
It hurts to try to focus on it. But I have no choice, I can't move my eyes.
I'm trapped.
Trapped
I can't-
"Sarah." Eric's voice cuts through the mess in my mind. I can feel him shaking my shoulders.
It takes me a minute to pry my eyes open, blinking in confusion. "I...what?" I groan and rub the side of my head. I can still feel the dizziness and nausea, like my stomach is rolling around and I'm going to throw up.
My whole body feels sweaty, and I'm trembling, and my chest hurts. My breaths are coming too fast, too short. It hurts to try to take deep breaths.
"Hey. Are you alright? I think you were having a nightmare."
I shake my head, swallowing and closing my eyes, trying to stop the spinning feeling in my head. "Y. Yeah. Maybe." I say, swallowing again. "Are they...here...?"
He clicks his tongue and taps my forehead. "You think I'd let you have a nightmare just because they're not here yet?"
"...No." I sigh, but smile at him, opening my eyes. It seems a little better now. "Thank you. What...time is it...?"
"I dunno." He shrugs. "Just night time."
I rub my eyes. "Right...no watches..."
It's...definitely a lot cooler now than it was before.
I can feel the wind on my cheeks and neck coming through the broken windows of the library. It feels good. My hands and face aren't even sunburnt anymore, they just feel normal again. Not flushed or tight.
The relief of the cooler air is nice.
Eric stands up and walks away from me.
For a moment, I think he's just...done with me and waiting for me to go back to sleep.
But he returns, holding a small, beaten metal cup we found in this building.
I frown at him, but take the cup of water, taking a sip and then passing it back.
Eric rolls his eyes, "Drink the rest, you idiot." His voice is low and grumbling, but I can tell he's not actually mad. At least. I don't think so?
I frown at him again and look down at the cup. It's still got plenty of water in it. "...Why...?"
"Just because you're not hot anymore doesn't mean you're not dehydrated. Drink." He points at the cup. "You look like shit."
I scowl. "I thought you were supposed to be polite to women." I grumble, taking another drink of water. I know I need the fluids, so I guess...I shouldn't be annoyed. But. He doesn't have to be rude about it, right?
He snorts, "You're a woman?"
I swat his shoulder and huff. "Of course, you jerk."
He chuckles a bit, but the sound dies off.
His eyes are on the window.
"You wanna talk about the dream?" He asks, not looking back at me. "...Seems like you have a lot on your mind."
"...Not really. It's...it was all just nonsense." I admit, swallowing. I feel bad admitting I'm not willing to share, but...
It really was just nonsense, nothing that makes sense. Just...garbled mess. Things spinning.
And.
Maybe that's not the only reason I don't want to share.
It makes me feel...weak to have a nightmare, or to need help to wake up. It makes me feel like I'm not strong enough to help the resistance, even if it was just a dream.
Mia and Hestia are sleeping peacefully.
Eric sleeps peacefully.
I'm the only one that ever seems to have nightmares-
"Stop." Eric interrupts.
"What?"
"You're doing that thing." He shakes his head.
I blink and frown, staring at the side of his face. I'm not sure what he means. "What thing...?"
He crosses his arms and sits back. "The Pity Pit."
"Th-the...what-?" I stammer.
"You always get that look when you start pitying yourself and feeling like a burden and all that other shit you're thinking."
"I-"
"...You. Are stronger than you realize. But you need to realize it, Sarah." He glances at me. "If you keep thinking you're weak and lesser, that's all you'll ever let yourself be."
I open my mouth a moment, but...
I'm not quite sure what to say.
He sighs. "Soon...we won't see each other anymore." His voice is soft. "We'll have our own paths to walk. If we make it out of here, we go back to our own lives in different places. Mia thinks we'll meet up but..."
I blink.
Right.
He's...going back to Florida. I'll be going back to Oregon. Mia will go back to Wisconsin, Hestia will...hopefully be able to go somewhere. It's not...like we'll see each other anymore.
Not realistically.
Even if we did, the time it would take to see each other would be...
I purse my lips, looking away. "...So...maybe we can talk online..."
He shrugs.
After a moment he speaks again. "...And if we don't succeed. I don't think it's reasonable to think we'll be sold off to the same places."
"I know..."
It feels like there's something caught in my chest, a weight on me that makes it hard to breathe. I know that if we fail, it'll be more likely for us to be sold apart from each other than together. And I know that if we make it, we're all from different parts of the country.
"Don't just forget me..." I huff.
He flicks my forehead by way of answer, then shakes his head. "My point is. You have to be strong. You can be. But you have to stop thinking you're not." He stands up.
"...Right."
He...says it like it's easy....
"It's not."
He can't just say things like he can read my mind!!!
Eric smirks. "You're not that complicated." His voice is low, quiet. I think he's trying to avoid waking the other two, who are sleeping against a different wall.
"Am too." I cross my arms, huffing at him. "But..."
He arches his brow, but doesn't speak.
I swallow.
It's...kinda scary.
Being alone.
"...You're more like me than Mia. So listen to me, not her." Eric's voice is quiet, still, but it doesn't shake at all. "She's...too optimistic. But sometimes, the worst case is the one that happens."
"...You think we won't make it?"
He shakes his head. "I just think that...I don't want you to be hurt." His lips twist, like it hurts for him to say. "You should...do something that will let you survive, even if we don't succeed."
I frown. "...Yeah? Well I don't want you to die, either."
He hums and turns away. "Don't plan to."
"Then. We are all in agreement." That voice. Is not one I know.
I turn my head quickly to the sound, quickly sitting up straight, ready to...something. Maybe run. Maybe defend the others.
A human man stands in the doorway of our room, holding up a small lantern.