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Thanks for reading!
I'm opening a pa.tre.eon or a ko/fi to support when I hit 1 million views on this
just to make sure I don't lose focus. No paywall either btw,
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-Baby, it's Nighttime-
The wind softly kissed my face as I stepped out of the ruins they call a church, abandoned or not, and my boots crunched on loose gravel for minutes on end until I finally reached the well-paved roads of Kuoh Town.
Everything was going fine.
Kalawarna? I'll deal with her eventually, but as for Raynare, her defeat at my hands left me with quite the haul.
If it were a JRPG encounter, she'd be a trash fodder mob, but one that gives you pretty neat equipment when you defeat her.
And when you take into account how Fallen like Raynare and her group lived for hundreds of years? I think I also walked out with a moral victory at that.
Even though I took [Sacred Gears] from them...
Inside my [Spirit Organ] pulsed a series of newly acquired Sacred Gears. Most were Twice Criticals, the basic-bitch's beginner's kit of the Sacred Gear world, often overlooked in favor of flashy dragons or time-stop swords. But there's value in simplicity.
[Twice Critical]
The Gear that allowed its wielder to double their power for a limited time.
Well, what? That was pretty much it.
Unassuming. Modest. And yet, strangely historic.
Basically, it's Early Game Armor with a supposed high-level cap.
In the original timeline, Issei Hyoudou was mistakenly thought to possess one. A blunder that got him impaled by Raynare in an alleyway with all the grace of a failed exorcism.
---Not this time, though.
That future got hijacked by yours truly.
Not that I wanted to, but it beats dying in your sleep, so hell yeah!
Now I hold not one, but multiple [Twice Criticals]. They were basic, sure, but they were ripe for modification.
Trinkets, enchanted rings, armor etched with doubling magic... even weapons.
With my skill in [Body Manipulation] and the ever-evolving flesh toolbox I call the [Spirit Organ], I planned to take a page out of Azazel's book in how he tinkers with Sacred Gear, and tear them down, reforge them, and rebuild them into something... new.
Speaking of the [Spirit Organ]...
I felt it hum beneath my skin near my heart, and oddly enough, somewhere between my soul itself.
These eight years weren't wasted, as what started as a simple energy receptacle had now been on the steady path of evolution.
Which was why fighting these lower-level mobs was such a waste of time.
My existence thrived on facing tougher opponents, adapting, and overcoming them. So I might need to find stronger foes to face off against in the future.
And yet, the real enigma was the other Sacred Gear. The one tucked deep inside my chest like a slumbering heart.
Seriously, it was an unnamed pandora box of potential waiting to be opened.
"caw!"
Daigo fluttered overhead, his now-wispy crow form looking sleeker than ever thanks to his latest round of Senjutsu-enhancements. "caw! Hey, Daichi! We done here!?"
"Yeah," I said, slipping my hands into my pockets. "Let's go."
We didn't take to the skies. Just a casual walk down Kuoh's backroads. After we passed those crappy gravel roads, we reached the town once more.
Ah, finally! Civilization!
Though, in actuality, Kuoh Town was a place where secrets and identities were buried beneath high school shenanigans and midnight monster hunts.
Eventually, we passed by the local manga bookstore, that one with the creaky door and slightly suspicious adult section, and through the glass, I spotted a familiar back.
This fella had short brown hair, an average build, and a red shirt under his opened up school uniform.
---Hyoudou Issei.
But the books in his hand weren't your usual shonen collection. They were thick, glossy doujins with titles like 'Bicep Boss Love!', 'King Of The Muscle Room' and 'Bear Master: Sweet Pain Gymnasium'.
Bara and Yaoi. For those uninitiated, the former featured hyper-masculine, muscle-bound men in homoerotic scenarios, while the latter dealt more with pretty-boy romances.
"Is this an out-of-season April Fools joke... or is this timeline just weird now?" I muttered, shaking my head.
Either way... this was not what I remembered from canon. And quite frankly, it was none, well, mostly none of my business.
He and Irina should be going strong, sending letters and all that jazz, so unless Issei is now the MC of one of those doujins where Irina runs into a suspiciously muscular and girthy foreigner exorcist, and hijinks ensue, then I don't think they've got much to worry about.
So if he wants to join the church of Muscles, then hell yeah.
Next to him stood the now fabled Perverted Duo--- Matsuda and Motohama.
Matsuda, with his usual crewcut, and Motohama, with his glasses thick enough to see the curvature of Pluto, stood behind Issei as they sobbed.
"Why... why doesn't he like boobs anymore?!" Matsuda wailed.
"He... he used to be one of us!" Motohama hiccupped.
Daigo squawked. "Caw! They're right! What if Sick Human refuses to procreate!? He must be sick! Or near Death! Very sad! Very odd! Let's go, boss! Caw!"
"Alright, alright."
"Caw! If Sick Human gets too close! He might infect you! Might not want to mate anymore! Caw!"
To Daigo, who was now capable of varying forms of intellect and thought, the perverted duo obsessed with the female was normal since animals should make more of themselves.
So an Issei focused on the opposite.... well, was the opposite of normal.
I sighed as I kept moving, slipping past the trio before they noticed. "He's gonna be fine, trust me."
It wasn't long before the silhouette of the restored Kuoh Shrine came into view, basking in the orange haze of twilight.
And in front of it stood a familiar figure.
---Akeno Himejima.
Long black hair, violet eyes, a sizeable chest, and a knowing smile that made every word feel like a tease. Oh, and by the way? Her shrine maiden outfit was pristine.
"Welcome home! You're quite late, aren't you?" She said, placing a hand on her hip. "I was worried you'd gotten lost on the way here~"
"Yes, dear," I replied, pulling a textbook from my bag and handing it over to her, though she didn't accept it. "Just some trouble at the office. I hope my mother-in-law isn't too angry about it."
"Fufufu! Dear, you say? Now you're skipping quite far into the future, are you~" Akeno gave a small chuckle as she looked at my ruffled spare uniform I changed out into on my way here.
"Well, then, darling~ Welcome" She said as she leaned in closer. "What would like,
I took a good look at her.
She was wearing one of those Miko outfits, and while you could see the outline of her curves, it hid everything.
Wait a minute, she's not wearing anything but an apron! She's clothed! It's a fraud! A fraud, I tell ya!
Sugar, honey, ice, tentacles! This was a serious problem!
Hold on though... Wait another minute...
"Honestly, you being clothed is kinda sexy, though..." I said out loud with a straight face. "Yep, I'm into it."
"Ara~ What a perverted young man~" She then hooked her hands around mine and dragged me into their dining room.
"Also, what's that with sending my trusty Daigo to bring me here? I don't remember giving you permission to order him around." I raised an eyebrow at the beauty in front of me, blocking my entrance into their home.
"Well, wouldn't you like to know...?" Akeno placed her finger near her chin, giving off an air of faux confusion, as she broke into a teasing smile.
"Caw! Food! I got food!"
-sigh-
"The world these days... What happened to good people in this country? Can't even own a crow without people trying to steal it." I gave a mock sigh as I looked to the sky.
But as I was lost in both my thoughts and the words from Akeno and Daigo, my mind was snatched by a mouthwatering scent that nearly made me float in its direction.
"Daichi-kun! Akeno! Dinner's ready!" came a melodic voice from inside.
---Shuri Himejima.
Akeno's mother, and Shrine Miko. A woman of elegance, kindness, and strength. And soon enough, I found myself ushered through the doors.
Inside, the shrine was spotless. Restored beams. Clean tatami mats. A warm scent wafted from the dining room.
And then...
"It's been too long," Shuri said as she pulled me into a hug.
---Correction: an overwhelming hug.
Naturally, as someone who is talented in being human, I knew that the correct course of action was to reciprocate the hug, which I gladly did as her ample chest smothered my torso like a motherly avalanche.
I didn't squirm, no, even as she increased the strength of the hug, which was now nearly akin to that of a bear. But Honestly? I deserved it. I hadn't visited enough.
---Just that this 'punishment' was more of a 'reward' than anything else.
She eventually let go as she sat me down. "Now then, tell me what mischief you've been up to."
"How much time do you have?"
As I recounted the PG-13 version of my week, Shuri laid out the evening spread:
It was beautiful.
Fresh steamed rice, and Miso soup with tofu and seaweed.
Teriyaki chicken, perfectly glazed, with Grilled mackerel on the side.
Tamagoyaki, a rolled omelette with a hint of sweetness. And to top it off? Pickled vegetables, with a little sashimi on the side.
And for dessert? Freshly cut fruit and mochi.
Oh, yeah, and there was Oyakodon too.
Uh, the food kind. Not the... anyways... literally, it's the 'parent-and-child donburi', a Japanese rice bowl dish, in which chicken, egg, sliced scallion, and other ingredients are all simmered together in a kind of soup that is made with soy sauce and stock, and then served on top of a large bowl of rice. (wikipedia definition ftw)
My stomach sang like a caged canary.
As we all sat down, I struggled to keep my saliva in my mouth as Akeno poured me tea with a sly smile.
And once we were all seated, I pressed my hands together. "Itadakimasu."
---Then I ate like a man who just traumatized a fallen angel.
And yes, my pet crow Daigo had something to eat as well.
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It didn't take long for the plates to be cleaned and dried. With three people on the task, that being me, Akeno, and her mama, Shuri, even a mountain of dishes felt like nothing more than a speed bump.
I mostly dried while Akeno and Shuri washed, the two of them humming and chatting softly like they were stuck in a warm slice-of-life episode.
'The Nichijou OST would fit perfectly here right now...' I smiled as I envisioned the entire thing going down.
Once the kitchen was spotless and everything was tucked away, I found myself sitting on the wooden engawa, the veranda steps of the Kuoh Shrine, watching stars twinkle above the darkened trees.
(A/N: your boy had to look up what these were called, to be honest)
The night air was gentle, carrying the faint scent of clean earth, cypress, and the last hints of summer.
-rustle-
Then, I heard a soft rustle as Akeno came out and settled right beside me with the practiced grace of a real-life Yamato Nadeshiko.
Her yukata was a soft lavender shade with cherry blossom patterns trailing along the hem and sleeves.
The gentle moonlight highlighted her porcelain skin, and the loose way her Obi was tied made her look both effortlessly elegant and just a little rebellious.
Her long, black hair spilled down her back like an inky waterfall, only slightly restrained by a hairpin.
I was about to say something when another presence appeared.
Shuri then sat on my other side, her motherly aura as warm as ever, as her yukata was a deeper plum color, adorned with golden maple leaves, and tied neatly in a mature style that spoke volumes about her grace and age.
Where Akeno was a flower in bloom, I could say with full assurance, Shuri was the full-grown tree.
Seriously, her beauty hadn't faded a bit with time; if anything, it had increased.
They were mirror images of one another, past and future, both dangerously charming in their own way.
I must have stared a little too long, because Akeno nudged me.
"What's the matter, Daichi? Cat got your tongue?"
I gave an introspective nod as I replied, "No, I was just thinking how I'm surrounded by two beautiful women. It kind of makes a man contemplate life... and be grateful for it."
"It makes me think of destiny and fate, and the intertwining of our paths in life..." I spouted out bullshit like I was a machine, but I believed every word of it.
Akeno smirked, and Shuri raised an elegant brow. And then, in unison, they chuckled.
"Fufufufufu~"
"Fufufufufu~"
"You're really bold, aren't you, Daichi-kun~?"
"To say that to a married woman, what a forward young man you are~"
I raised an eyebrow.
---Tag-team teasing. The Himejima Special.
Two generations of refined, playful sadism with a hint of flirtatiousness sitting on either side of me.
I was now the main character of one of those loser manga where the MC comes across a quirky girl/s who teases him and changes his life.
The only difference is that I get laid in less than 200+ plus of buildup.
Whether or not that was a good thing, has yet to be seen.
Then again, I'm not spending money or renting anyone to get nothing in return, so maybe that was the silver lining.
"Here I am speaking on serious topics, and you two are giggling..." I muttered. "People are so callous these days..."
"Ara? But you don't sound like you regret a single thing," Shuri teased.
"Fufufu... He's probably thinking of what he wants to do to us now that no one's around us to help, Okaa-san~"
"My thoughts are pure. And no, I have no regrets," I said with a grin, leaning back with both women beside me. "Especially since I meant every word as purely as possible."
Akeno leaned her head on my shoulder as I felt her soft hair tickling my cheek.
Shuri, on the other hand, just smiled as she relaxed right next to us. "Where did I meet such a sinful, perverted young man..."
"You invited him over for dinner," I said dryly.
Time passed in gentle silence, the kind that made you feel like the world was at peace.
Eventually, the night got darker, and we all made our way inside.
There were no repeats of what happened eight years ago, as we took turns using the shower.
And by the time I was dried off and got in my sleeping clothes, the house was quiet again.
Lying in bed, my thoughts drifted to my day.
Playing with Kuroka in the morning, dealing with Kalawarna and Raynare, and collecting [Sacred Gears].
I rolled over to face the wall, my thoughts moving to the pulse of multiple [Twice Criticals] now sitting safely inside my [Spirit Organ].
Then my mind drifted to Rias and her engagement with Riser Phenex.
She was stronger than in the original story, and though I can't say much for her intelligence, she was at the very least smarter, too.
This version of Rias might burn that Phoenix alive before the Rating Game even starts.
---Poor bastard. I really liked his Seiyuu, though.
-knock, knock-
Just as I was beginning to drift off, a soft knock came at the door.
I didn't move. I didn't have to.
I felt her presence before the door creaked open and the air shifted, and the bed dipped slightly as someone crawled in beside me.
Then, I turned slowly.
---And I was face to face with Akeno.
Her violet eyes glimmered with mischief and something else I didn't want to name just yet.
She didn't speak immediately or anything of the sort, but just stared directly into my eyes. I figured she wanted to talk, or maybe sleep beside me.
Nothing unusual, of the sort.
But then she said:
"I discussed this with Okaa-san, and while she didn't tell me anything, I think I have a clue..."
"You know..."
"Eight years ago, you and Mother took quite the long time bathing together. I've always wondered... just what happened that night~?"
I simply looked at her for seconds at a time, and all I could think was:
"Oh, shit. Here we go again."
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Next Chapter: Ecchi Young Man Accidently Slipped And Put Onee-san Miko In A Mating Press! (R-18)
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Trivia Time! (Againx20!!) (Akeno Version!!!!)
Did you know(ofc)
1. Akeno's birthday is on July 21 (Imagine being born in June, couldn't be me.)
2. Akeno, alongside Asia, have the most familiars in the series, with both having six each. (pokemon trainer irl)
3. Akeno has a driving license. (lol)
4. Her erogenous zone is anywhere on her body (rockeyebrowraise.jpg)
5. Akeno closely resembles Mikako Satsukitane from Heaven's Lost Property in both appearance and personality. (remember that show, old school ecchi was crazy, I swear.)
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