Hiya kiddies, Mike Michaelson here, and I know this is not the best time to do this, but here we go anyway:
There I was, in the filthy alleyway in the populous city of Manhattan, New York, all broke, with not a single dime in hand, this is an alternate reality or whatever, mind you, the only thing I had was my own grief, nothing to please me whatsoever, until one faithful day, I found a perfectly good doughnut in the rubbish bin, and beside it was 10 dollars for me to take, naturally I avoided the doughnut as it could have been poisoned or rotten or expired or hardened or even a proxy, and went with the 10 dollars.
I then smarted out investing the 10 dollars into, well something you'll find out soon 'nuff and received 500 bucks as a stock, a worthwhile receive if ya' ask me.
I was then approached by a shady looking fella, a bub who looked a lot like a malnourished, watered down version of Elvis Presley, with slightly longer hair and a short stature, who tried to sell some of that white, powdery stuff to me (if you know, ya know), naturally, I rejected it and asked him where the nearest hotel was, so I could spend a good night's rest there, but he told he me I irritated him and said he was wasting his time asking an outcast like me, that fella was bout to be rocked to bed, unlike the 8 hour familiarity though, he'd be asleep for an eternity, for good or for worse.
He then starts rambling me on that he was too much a challenge for me and his boss would have much fun with "the King of Hobos", I agreed, though reluctant due this shammy looking git being a possible con-artist, under the stipulation that whatever shady scheme the boss is plotting, will be withheld from then on. So the coward brought me to the boss of the gang, who called himself "Silvers Easeu" (it's pronounced "E-saw" by the way, not "E-su"), but I liked to call him "Tinfoil Skateboard", because he looked really much like the Silver Surfer from the Fantastic Four.
We duked it out, the two of us, me and 'im, fist to fist, welter to welter, and he was a sturdy foe, I'll tell ya that, as stupid as he looks, he was a clever warrior, albeit a boring one. We locked eyes on each other, his were silver, with a hint of red on the exterior edges of the iris, with his fists curling up in an instant, with a wide frown forming around his already enraged face, veins popping out of his goofy looking skull, he looked super serious, and for good measure, he clamped his fists together to show he was ready for action.
I honestly believe he couldn't even scratch the surface nor the foundation of a wall, sure he was built, more than I was, that's for sure, "washboard abs, vascular veins and aesthetic gains", all three he attained. But I had one thing he didn't : Pure bullshitting luck.
He lunged forward, a radius of around 20 metres covered by this supposedly "average human being" -sure, he was humanoid but not at all a "homo-sapien" as those old school documentaries would put it- in around a split-second, with a roundhouse kick to my earlobe so strong, not only the nearby trees, but the vehicles, the buildings, and even the monuments, seems to have been shook, if anything, that kick would've connected with my head, and it'd been a football for the gang members, had I not folded back.
Fear aroused me in just about a mere split-second, I nearly crapped myself, realising what the hell I've gotten myself into here.
He threw a punch, 'bout the speed of sound is what I estimate the speed to be, and it just so grazed my left temple, a shin kick, lightning fast now, nearly struck at my legs, almost snapping it like a twig in a instant, I just about leaped back, both legs in the air, in the Spiderman pose, except this time in defence, I stole a glance at his shiny face, and was met with a face that horrified me stiff, he was grinning from ear to ear, as if he was enjoying this exposure, like a sadist.
He suddenly bursts up from the ground (probably caused a light tremor, large enough to knock a lamppost down at its weakest) until he was eye-to-eye with me here, he moved his knee towards my face, but I (un)successfully blocked it by throwing my left arm at it, I felt at that moment, the worst pain in existence, every bone in my left arm was discombobulated, broken like a twig, ripped like a piece of paper.
I fell to the ground, back first onto the hard concrete, I was semi-unconscious here, as I glanced up, the Tinfoil man was descending down from the height and was about to drive his foot into my then lifeless arm. I rolled over just in time to avoid it from getting turned into cranberry juice, but the onslaught did not end there you see, as he landed back down (probably caused another tremor there) he jolted over and kicked me in left elbow, as a pterodactyl would holler and roar, I let out a blood curdling scream, and just as he was about to finish me off with a right hook.
I blinked, and was no longer in the dark, gritty, almost claustrophobic aroma of Manhattan, New York, but in a white void, devoid of space and time (at least from what I've seen).
I believed I was in hobo-heaven, dead and mushed into the ground, but I was proven wrong once again here.
A mysterious aura started forming at the centre of the endless void, the aura opened up like a portal, and out came a mysterious entity, a force to be reckoned with, he appeared in a form which can only be represented as a serpent with wings, and not like a bat's wings at all, but like the wings of a Seraphim, it had one eye, six wings, a mouth of a snake and fangs of a dragon.
It blinked and *Kaboom*, there appeared a golden table, with a silver chalice, a golden pallet, a silver spoon and fork on each end, and a packet of tissues at the centre. Then appeared two golden chairs, both high-end quality, on each end of the table.
To top it all off, the meals shimmered down slowly from out of nowhere, as if it was thought into existence by the entity.
Finally it spoke, in a voice so heavenly, so glamorous, so divine, yet so human, course it was Khanadarkian, or some divine language made by the Children of Manhavén, but I could understand it:
'"Sit, little one, for you have suffered enough, enjoy, a meal granted from "The One Who Made Light and Dark", be enlightened!"'
I don't know if this was legit or not, and was about to question him on my left arm, but just as I glanced down at my arm, it was as if nothing had occurred to it, and I was fully convinced and on board, besides, I WAS STARVING! I sat down on the hefty chair, minded my manners as best as I could, but I couldn't resist my intrusive thoughts and gobbled down every bit of that divine, gold covered loin steak, I had never tasted something so exquisite, especially from where I come from, but there was no doubt about it, tis was a deity sitting 180 degrees in front of me at the other end.
'"Apologies if I had frightened you in my appearance, my child, I have you know I take upon this form to ward off evil spirits, the likes of demons, serpents, ghouls, titans, ethereal, all alike, especially my siblings"', 'Y-your siblings?', '"Indeed, but first drink your beverage first"', 'But there isn't a single chalice at my side of the table', '"But now there is!"' and one appeared, not of bronze, nor of silver, but of pure, stainless gold, gold more priceless than priceless, so much so it was almost immeasurable to look at, and he told me '"What do you desire in your chalice?"', 'I desire 15 ounces of the best orange juice in the entire universe!', '"Then it shall be the best in the multiverse!"'
And so it was, or at least for a millisecond, for it just appeared in an instance, '"Well, what are thou waiting for Michaelin, drink, for this beverage is imbued with a portion of my power"', of course I whimmed it down so quickly I nearly chocked on "divine" orange juice from a cosmic entity, but I felt, well, you could say "different", I felt, imbued with cosmic prowess, enough to destroy and create a planet at my most powerful, but before I could thank him, I was back in Manhattan, with a person laying down tattered in front of me, begging for his life, 'Please, please just let me go, I promise to not harm you again', I didn't know what to do, or what just happened beforehand, so I just told him three harsh words, 'Get lost junkie'.
Him and his gang fled, I don't know where, I don't know how far, but I felt I could do so much more with my power, but I hustled around Manhattan for about... well for a time not too long at all.
And then whoosh, a portal, such as one cast by Rick from Rick and Morty appeared, it was wide enough to fit five gorillas, or a maybe a semi-truck, and it stunk like hell too, it was musty like never before, even a durian fruit would never stink this bad, yet it was tolerable to a degree, for what felt like five months, I was dragged from one end of the multiverse to the other, through that filthy wormhole.
However that "filthy wormhole" had a time paradox of its own, so much so that the five months that passed in my time washed away only a fraction of a second in the real world, or at the new one I arrived at, where everything feels almost realistic, yet also..... as if it were a simulation.... uncanny even.
Now I know this is a happy, go-getter story about a corrupt superhero getting chased down by former victims of his actions who are just as guilty, but suffice to say, you didn't expect such complex information, yet here we are, talking about dimensions, cosmic events, paradoxes, uncanny valleys, and this may come as a surprise as you may have not expected such waffle in your life, but here is some advice I'd give you before I go on:
'Dear voyager, don't usher on carelessly, and remember, stay safe, stay hard, a word from the wise, your dear friend Michael the wise.'
Pardon that interruption, as I believe I have been going a little 'delusional' quite a bit, if you know what I mean.
The words I just listed out right above this, don't take them to heart just, sure it will be important for the future.
Now let me fill you in about my time spent here.
There I was, now located at a distant planet, one where there were any nearby inhabitants, it was very shallow, the atmosphere, if you could call it that, was very earth-like, however, with the lack of humans, or just about any life form made it feel uncanny, an eerie sensation came up on the figure of my spine, naturally, as the idiot I was, I went for a 'little hike'. This was a poor decision, which I'll inform in just a bit, but first, we need you to visualize the aspect and the scenery of such a whimsical location.
It was a rather cold, yet humid planet, a perfect mix of climates, however, it was rather dusty, whisked around with sand particles flowing in the air.
'Course, there were no familiar faces, heck there weren't any sort of monuments nor residential aside from a small stone hut which could barely fit a family of four, so I had no sources of nutrition or growth and only a single source of shelter which I doubt can be considered 'shelter', but none the less, there was a start.
Finally, after two days with no source of food, water or any communication, life was spotted, or rather, following.
I witnessed that there were rather dark silhouettes, but believed they were mere hallucinations of mine after the lack of water as I barely had a day left in my life until I would die of unquenched thirst.
However, after voyaging around the very unnamed nation of the unnamed planet that I was quite possibly temporarily inhabiting, I hit a jackpot.
There was a lake, a rather lake that only felt merely like a large pond but a lake other the wise, of course, I didn't know if there were any bacteria in these waters, but since I hadn't interacted, seen or even heard of any other organism living on this planet, why not just go for it.
I had around three gulps of the water, this water that felt a little whimsical, as I should say, this do I believe so as I merely had a singular gulp, yet was satisfied to the brim, at least in terms of water, however, a second gulp was enough to fill my palette in terms of appetite, for I had no insatiable urges of hunger whatsoever after the second whim, but I felt another gulp was worth the final bit, the icing on the cake as you will, that I regretted very much indeed, as I palmed up the water in my hand, I had a vision, or rather, a lucid dream.
There in front of me stood four, dark, ghastly figures, all of them dressed in dark clothing, much like something worn by a Persian Sultan, or an Egyptian Prince, but all clad in black, they wore robes that not even the richest of lads in the entire galaxy could ever come close to touching, they wore silken-black trousers and for their footwear, they wore what seemed like Mesopotamian wedding galoshes which were also laced with pitch-darkness.
This is merely what I saw at first glance, for I had not seen any of their facial features, all I perceived was their height (which is not as impressive as it seems, you'd expect a Godzilla sized being, however these fellas only looked 12, maybe 13 metres in height, which is massive enough, but not impressive from where I was standing, these fellas were 200 feet away opposite the pond from me) and their clothing, which I saw as a flashing blur. After just awkwardly standing there opposite the pond for a good twenty seconds one of them stepped forward, or should I say beamed forward, for I couldn't comprehend the speed the man (or thing) moved at, as he crossed a range of 200 feet in just a mere blink.
As I looked from the direction from which he came from, to just above my shoulder blade, I just about understood what this thing was, on his face was a mask that looked like something worn by a neo-samurai during the early "Meiji Period" of Japan, except of course, this was a mask all clad in, you guessed it, black and with the eye holes being cut out to show white pupils with no iris, however, this mask did not match the appearance of the guy, he may have looked 13 metres over on the other side, here however, he didn't even look like he reached 13 feet, let alone 13 metres.
Where his hair was meant to be was a metallic latch which looked like it was obsidian, and where his arms were meant to be was a black ooze which looked like it was dripping down and retracting back up at the same time.
When he looked down at me, his eyes glowed yellow, an eerie yellow to say the least, and his liquid-like arms retracted completely to form what essentially looked like an arm, but made out of metal.
Then he spoke: "Nosleahcim Ekim, tahw si ruoy esoprup ereh?"
Translation: "Michaelson Mike, what is your purpose here?"
This was in a deep, monotone, almost lifeless pitch, much like a Stormtrooper from Star Wars, (and for those of you wondering what he even uttered, it is what we mortals refer to as English, however it is in an inverted dialect, therefore from here on out I'll translate every word these things say,
He spoke again, this time in a different dialect: "!Won, rewsna na em evig, llew."
Translation: "Well, give me an answer, now!".
However, before he could proceed any advances on his demands, another one of those entities stood (beamed forward) behind me, he wailed: "Yaw siht neeb s'eh, dog a saw eh tuo dnuof eh ecnis reve, rehtorb regnuoy ym nodrap, KALAK HGUONE".
Translation: "ENOUGH KALAK,- to which he glances back at me- pardon my younger brother, ever since he's found out he was a god, he's been this way."
God, he said, GOD HE SAID, that was what those things were, those were deities taking on an avatar form, much so they wouldn't crush me flat with their immeasurable aura in their true forms, these are the ones "the One Who Made Light and Dark" warned me about through the power he imbued me, at least unintentionally.
These were the other children of Manhavén, the most malevolent of malevolent, the ones known as the Khanadark entities, one of four leading powers in the Boundless region of space and time, and here they were, simply standing in front of me as if I were a suspect in a felony and they were the judges, these were no creatures any more, they are the creators!
I boldly (and foolishly) asked these gods 'What may the purpose of you fellas be of here', to which the older one responded 'Oh yes, pardon me, I mistook you for a shapeshifting Galatian Inkari, I am Galak, one of the Khanadark entities, at least an avatar variant of Galak, this here is my younger sibling, Kalak, the youngest of the four, and those two shady looking Khanadark's are my younger brothers, twins Romelus and Rupin, also avatars, we are also the younger brothers of the First Amendment Elysian, the Black-Hole Elder Gods and our oldest of siblings, the One Who Made Light and Dark, finally, we are also the children of the true maker, the lord king Manhavén!'
'Huh, oh well yeah, I am a human, but of another planet, or maybe a dimension, I don't remember, but the fact is that I am no Galatian in anyway shape or form.'
'Well, no Galatians tourists are meant to be here, us Khanadark's wiped them off all planes, well to be fair, one of our descendants committed this crime of war', said the one who called himself Galak, 'He calls himself a "superhero", much not one but still thinks of himself as moral, have you seen anyone with any features such as the ones I just described?', this one added.
'No, I have not seen anyone or anything other than this pond, and of course, yourselves, over the past few days', I replied, 'Here is a better description for your liking, if you will encounter him, he has a big golden cape, swift, heavenly, smooth hair in a cowlick, and of course on his golden spandex, are two arched symbols, an S and an L, his name, SHADE LIGHT!'
'Okay, what an odd name, but I don't know him, all I know is that I just somehow got here, and how I got a fraction of power from a god, a god you will most certainly know' I replied, 'Who may that refer to?' asked Kalak the younger, 'Well of course the One Who Made Light and Dark.'
Silence ensued, I stood there standing still, thinking they would reply, but they didn't, they glared into my spectre, then looked at each other, then the two looked at the other two on the other side of that pond.
Suddenly, they both had eyes glowing at full flare, as if they were about to laser me into oblivion, the two twin Khanadark gods spawned in right beside both of the other brothers, they were both taller than Galak and Kalak, who were roughly 11 feet in length, the twinners were around 13 feet in height, and just like their brothers, their eyes glowed a red of their own.
All of their masks broke off their faces, rendering just dark spirals which were in pitch, however, they all suddenly vanished off the surface of the Galatian planet, yet the plate boundaries started to shake vigorously.
Alas, after a minute of the continents trembling in motion, I perceived 8, massive eyes, each eye around the size of the moon, and each eyelash being around the length of current Russia, the planet's two, red moons, moons burning to temperatures equal to that of the Earth's core, collided in front of them, (if I had a 100 dollars for how many times an all powerful deity or deities showed up, I'd have enough to stay at a decent 3 star hotel back in my world for about four days).
I just realised what kind of mess I just got myself into, I should've known the Khanadarkian gods were not on good terms with big ol' secondary creator (a high-end god in the Galactic Alliance feudal law system in the ever expanding cosmos), yet this much beef was not what I expected at all, as if these deities utterly hated the mere thought of "the One Who Made Light and Dark."
The one named Romelus (or Rupin, they both looked really similar, so I don't know which is which) spoke up, however he did not speak in the language all but one human, nor extraterrestrials would understand, nor will understand, he spoke in old Aldebaran (which I firmly understood through the power presented by "the One Who Made Light and Dark") which he spoke as this,
Rupin (or Romelus): "Michaelin Mikaelson, vos shen silit'ani t'eset itotaliti deur le colui chei har darke et lleuger, vos shu sada biti iskiori!"
Translation: "Michaelin Michaelson, you are imbued with the power of the "One Who Made Light and Dark", you will now be eradicated by incineration!"
I knew right away that I was in danger, these gods were mad, and mad to the point that they have extremely murderous intentions along with it.
As all of their eyes glowed red, and the planet became enveloped with light which did not seem realistic, yet was indeed real, I had one option, BELIEVE, and I don't mean that I wished for safety, which would be foolish as these pitched vermin would've wiped every trace of my soul off the planet, no, rather I believed in the hard sense that I could die trying to fight them, die as a warrior even though I was just a regular, everyday hobo just 3 days prior, I was now an apprentice of a god, a higher-end vassal in derogatory terms (and in the Galactic Alliance hierarchy system as of late), therefore I reluctantly stood up to these ancient bullies:
First charged Romelus (or Rupin, these twins are so identical, it is sooooo out of hand at this point), his eye, red as a ruby, evaporated all types of cirrus, cumulus, and stratus clouds into oblivion, with all water and liquid sources dissipating into invisible vapour, vapour that made the ever so humid desert-planet even more stuffy, like a planetary sauna.
A laser charged up, though to me it looked like a swarm of pillars constructed of millions of red lightning streaks, it blazed from the mystic that was his eyes down to the surface of the planet in unit time, bearing in mind the sheer size of this humungous planet, as opposed to our little dwarf land we call "Earth", I could merely evade that ambush with an enhanced back-handspring, though it burnt my precious beard to a salty crisp, and the landing did not make it better, as when I landed on my two feet, I was blown away by the aftershock, far far away.
That twin had blown me several miles from my starting point, I could barely stand up, and my clothes weren't any better: my shirt was torn in two, my pants were much effected that it changed colours from navy to ruby-red, and even one of my own shoes were so worn down that the only evidence of it's existence was the insole, as nothing but the insole remained. Blood spewed everywhere, though not too much to kill me, my shirt was bloodied, cuts and bruises were all visible to a certain degree, and my trousers...well you get it.
I tried my best to square myself up to them, 'That all ya got, ya twits!', which I regretted doing very much so, yet my fate was set in stone.
Next fired the other twin, he shot a heat-ray at me, but this one was far smaller, but yet even faster than the last one, however, I wasn't so lucky this time, my left arm was taken from me, it was painlessly evaporated into molecules, and I barely evaded the full extent of its attack.
I was on the ground now, much worn down by the heat of both the planet and the blast, I begged the question, "how could such beings exist as this?", I could barely so much so get onto one knee but that in itself was draining the life force energy out of me, and into these gods, however, as the strongest human of my planet in my dimension, my moral compass as a loyal warrior (for a brief period of time) told me to not concede to the fate and to keep fighting to the end, no matter the result, and no matter what amount of life force energy was required.
As the last two Khanadark gods charged up their lasers, I stood up one last time with my limited flowing life force energy, and though this was my second fight and possibly last, I smiled in the face of death, as the two beams of death charged up, one from the east and one from the west (could be the other way around based on the first two attacks sending me around like a rag-doll).
I hauled up my best (and only) ability provided to me by "the One Who Made Light and Dark", control of light, a power which was only known to me right after I lost my arm, as I saw it dissipate, not into a pool of blood but rather a flash of light, and with that, I used the luminosity of the stars and neutron stars in the nearest quadrant to flare back at the Khanadark entities, however, though I survived the ambush, it was surprisingly in the most surprising way imaginable, as the second all of the light from the nearest solar systems and nebulas gathered together in my first (and possibly final attack), "ILLUMINOSE-CALIBRA", a name which was dubbed by your's truly, something (or rather somebody) interrupted the altercation, this entity negated both the "gamma-ray-bursts" -like lasers and the "ILLUMINOSE-CALIBRA" like it was a daily endeavour.
The thing stood afloat in the air for just a moment, I believed he was another monster like the Khanadarks, however when he teleported right behind me, I got a quick glimpse of him, he looked like a wealthy salaryman, wearing a lavish suit, a fresh tie, well groomed hair, pastor shoes, heck, even a Gucci belt (something a hobo like myself dreamt of for long), all but his face was visible, it was very hard to visualise him in his glory, however he spoke to me in a familiar tone, 'Let me take it from here, young Michealin' in an angelic voice so smooth that it would grant world peace if needed, and I knew damn well who he was, the one who gave me my powers, the one who saved me from despair once and now will save me once more.
He put his hand under my arm and over my shoulder and utilised his nigh-omnipresent speed, teleporting me from the Galatian planet to one of its moons, or at least what remains of it. He then put me down, placed his hand around the bleeding stump that was my arm, and with a blink of an eye, so it was back in place, and all of the blood, stains and damage was now not visible, in addition to my beard now returned to its original shape, it was a MIRACLE, however, there still remained the malign gods, of which, the oldest of identical brothers, Galak, spoke out to his even oldest brother:
Galak: 'Elddif dnoces uoy, tops rouy pu evag uoy, LOOF!'
Translation: 'FOOL, you gave up your spot, you second fiddle'
To which the one Who Made Light and Dark responded:
'!Snoitalupits ym wollof attog uoy, thgif a tnaw uoy',
Translation: 'You want a fight, you gotta follow my stipulations!'
Galak: 'Ti eb os!',
Translation: 'So be it!'
The one Who Made Light and Dark: 'Esab naitalaG eht ta kool, ereh thgif tsuj t'nac ew!'
Translation: 'We can't just fight here, look at the Galatian base!'
And he was speaking utter facts, the planet was so disfigured, it was only a mere microscopic speck compared to what it was prior, from just two attacks by these deities, it was converted from a planet that dwarfs even Jupiter, let alone Earth, to a withered asteroid which equates to the size of the European volcanic island, Iceland, even the sediments of the moon rock I was standing on was more than likely even bigger than Galatia, (that's what I'm calling it from now on, deal with it) yikes!
Then 'The one Who Made Light and Dark' spoke out once more to me,
'Dear Mike, you are my dearest apprentice, and the only living apprentice, I must go now to rid of these malevolent fools which I am bound to for life, disrespectfully speaking, it would have been better if these pariah specimen never had been birthed in the womb of the ever expanding cosmos, I will have to deal with these vermin for myself, far away, for this dimension of Terra-02 is a dead universe, just like the identical Terra-01, its twin universe, therefore we will travel to the end of this multiverse, Terra-999-C, to finish this duel, this may be the last time I will see you, beware young voyager, don't usher on foolishly, but heed my sovereignty!', these were words he spoke out sentimentally, as if he were reciting his last rites and similar to his deathbed confession, and just in the flash of an eye, all of the five gods dissipated into astral fireflies and travelled to the end of the multiverse like shooting stars, though significantly faster than light.
Though I was healed from the burden of my wounds, I was finna fall dead asleep from how exhausted I was from that "fight", though it looked to be an uneven ambush or even a bad jumping.
I woke up on Galatia, I though all that crap was just a ghoulish nightmare mixed with the hunger, however, somehow it was reconstructed to the maximum, every particle, every mineral, every dust particle, it was back in place, even the landscape, the pond, even the deconstructed moons was replenished back to its true might, making the night sky nonetheless more beautiful.
This must have been the work of 'The one Who Made Light and Dark' I thought, boy was I wrong, the mere second I looked up at the first moon, which was also put back into the same orbit along with the second moon, I saw a flyer falling down from the sky, though it was stained with blood, godly blood as I later found out, the blood of his truly, and at the bottom, a signature of a special someone.
And just as he stated, that was the last time we saw each other. In the last 50 years, he never came back. He was truly gone.
End of the Fable. Again.