"Lusia, are you going anywhere after class?"
"Hmm? No, I didn't have any plans."
Classes had just ended. The others were chatting with their friends or heading straight home. The teacher was gathering his things, and both Lusia and I were ready to leave. It was a day like any other, except for one reason: the month was about to end.
"My dad gave me a small advance so we could go out somewhere."
"Wouldn't it be better to wait until the weekend? We'd have way more time."
What Lusia said was true. With the time we had after school, we wouldn't be able to do much before it got dark. Even if we asked for permission to be late, it still wouldn't compare to a full weekend. She was right, but...
"No…"
"Why not?
""...There's something that doesn't open on weekends that I thought might interest you."
"I see, I guess we have no choice. Let me tell my aunt."
I wasn't lying; I knew a couple of places that were closed on weekends, but they weren't the real reason. In truth, I had no reason—I just felt like we had to go out today.
"..."
"She says it's fine."
"Good…""You lead the way."
Lusia, cheerful as always, stepped behind me, ready to follow. Normally, I would've started walking, but for some reason, today I wanted things to be a little different.
"Lusia…""Yeah?"
"..."
Without another word, I stepped back a little. Lusia probably thought I was going to get behind her like always, which is why she seemed surprised when I moved to walk beside her instead.
"Aisha?"
"...I won't lose sight of you… I've memorized how you look."
"Took you long enough."
"Sorry."
"It's okay. Let's go where you said."
"..."
And so, we started walking without haste. Our exit from school was quiet. Lusia entertained herself watching people, while I stared straight ahead. She's told me a few times that she tries guessing people's personalities based on their accessories or hair color, so she can have topics to talk about if she wants to make new friends.
Make new friends…
"Lusia…"
"Hmm? It's rare for you to start a conversation."
"I just… want to know if we're in a hurry…"
"Not really, there's still time before the sun sets."
Today I felt strange. I had no fever, no wounds, no hunger, no sleepiness. My body was fine, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing… No, that's not quite right. I don't know what the right words are, this had never happened to me before.
"Still time…"
"Yeah, we've just left school."
"The place… it's about twenty blocks from the mall."
"That's super far!"
"We have time."
"I doubt it. We'll have to jog a little to—"
"It's not necessary. You said it yourself, we're not in a rush."
Lusia looked at me, puzzled. I admit, it's not the first time she's given me that look. I always give her reasons for it, but this time, it felt different. As I expected, she spoke to me with concern.
"Did something happen?"
"No…"
"Did your dad have to use his bartender shotgun and it scared you?"
"You watch too many movies…"
"He doesn't have one?"
"...He does, but he's never used it."
"Are you sure?"
"The bar is under my room. I'd know."
Lusia laughed a little at our nonsense while I wondered if shotguns could be fired silently. When she finished laughing, she looked at me calmly and touched my hair.
"Seriously though, are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"I'm sure…"
"You're not lying? …Nah, you couldn't lie even if you wanted to."
She was right—at least partly. I wasn't trying to lie, and even if I did, I couldn't hide anything for long. I was just saying what I believed to be the truth… but my truth was far from truly being true.
"If you don't want to tell me, I won't force you. But if you ever need someone to listen, I'm here.""Thanks…"
Trying to change the subject, we stopped in front of a large shop filled with all kinds of flowers.
"Look, a flower shop."
"So many flowers…"
"You could get a new pot for Katze."
"I think Katze's fine with the one he has…"
"You sure?"
"Yeah… Though maybe I could buy a smaller watering can."
"In that case, let's go in. Mind if I borrow your phone?"
Inside, Lusia started taking photos of the flowers she liked while I looked for the watering cans. Most were regular-sized, but I found one even smaller than my hand. Since I found it quickly, I silently approached Lusia, who was photographing some carnations. Then, I had an idea.
"..."
"...Aisha?"
Without saying anything, I tilted the empty watering can over Lusia's head like I was watering a plant. She clearly had no idea what I was doing.
"What are you doing?"
"Watering…"
"Huh?"
"You were so close to the flowers, I thought you were one."
"...""Sorry, that was a bad joke."
I quickly went to pay and came back to Lusia, then we left the shop. She looked at the photos she took before handing me back my phone. Since we hadn't stayed long, I thought about apologizing, but...
"Lusia, sorry for—"
"HAHAHA!"
"Huh?"
I flinched a little when Lusia suddenly burst out laughing, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"I didn't know you could make jokes."
"It's the first time I've tried…"
"It was terrible, but that made it funny."
It seemed strange to me that Lusia laughed while calling my joke bad, but I didn't say anything. I just listened to her laughter as she wiped away the tears it brought.
"S-Sorry for laughing so much, it really caught me off guard."
"It's fine."
"What made you suddenly want to be funny?"
"I just wanted to try. Friends make each other laugh, right?"
"Yeah, and you did it."
Lusia patted my head as she said that. It didn't feel bad, though I wasn't quite sure why she was praising me.
"You can be really funny when you try."
"Should I try more often?"
"Hmm… No. You're fine just the way you are.""You sure?"
"I didn't ask a super peppy and funny girl to be my friend. I asked you."
"Thanks… I think."
I spent a while thinking about her laugh. That sound… it wasn't bad…
We kept talking for quite a while. There wasn't anything specific we wanted to talk about, but somehow we kept the conversation going. That was until Lusia started showing signs of discomfort. I thought maybe she was bored, but then I remembered we'd been walking for quite a while without a break, she was probably just tired.
"Aisha, can we rest for a bit? My feet hurt."
"As you wish."
Lusia looked a bit fed up with all the walking. She'd probably be even more annoyed if she knew we weren't even halfway there. Either way, we both sat down on a bench to take a short break.
"That place is way too far!"
"True…"
"Is the trip worth it?"
"...No idea."
"Aren't you the one who invited me?"
"Yeah…""At least tell me what's so far away that it's worth this."
"Well… a bookstore and a stuffed animal shop."
"Aren't there places like that nearby?"
"No idea…"
"God… Let's check around here. If I walk another block, my feet are gonna explode."
Even though Lusia had a point about looking for somewhere closer, I didn't want that. Still, considering how tired she was, I didn't argue. She kept catching her breath until, a bit more relaxed, she brought up something I hadn't expected.
"Oh right, I almost forgot, tomorrow's finally the end of the month."
"That's true…"
"It went by faster than I thought."
"My dad says time flies when you're having fun."
"What a wise man."
"...What are you doing next month?"
"Next month? There's no way I can plan for an entire month."
"True…"
"I just hope we don't have exams."
"Maybe one or two after the month ends."
"Boo."
"Just being honest."
"The truth hurts because you know you can't deny it.""
Did you make that phrase up?"
A whole month had gone by so fast. Meeting Lusia, spending time with her, discovering interests with her, inviting her to my house—it had been a short month, but not a boring one. Still, I couldn't forget our bet.
To be friends for a month.
It seemed like Lusia was going to win. I didn't mind losing, i was just surprised I'd lasted this long. Tomorrow would be a new day, a new month. And when that day comes… what will happen?
"Aisha."
"Ah, sorry, I was thinking."
"I was checking the GPS on your phone, there's a bookstore nearby."
"When did you take my phone?"
"That's not important. We can get there in less than ten minutes."
"Is there a book you want?"
"I want to see if they have a book, i don't remember the title, it's about a boy who has a drawer that brings his toys to life.
"Is it good?"
"It's fun. Also, I want to check out the manga section."
"I didn't know you read manga."
"I'm a casual reader."
"Well then, nothing more to say."
With our destination in mind, we got up and headed to the bookstore. Sure enough, it didn't take more than ten minutes to arrive. It wasn't huge, but the shelves filled with books and the layout made it feel more spacious than it really was.
"Alright, let's split up."
"Wouldn't you rather go together…?"
"It's just… I don't think you could find the books I like with me around."
"...Really?"
"...I'm a little embarrassed by the manga I like…"
"Are they for kids? I don't see a problem."
"No, I'm more into romance…"
"That sounds pretty normal."
"...L-Let's just split up. You won't have trouble finding me later."
"Alright…"
If Lusia was acting like that, she didn't want more questions, so I had no choice but to respect that. I admit, I'm curious about a lot of things when it comes to her. Why does she insist so much on hiding her arms? Why is it so hard for her to say she likes how I look? Why is she so kind to me?
At the time, I didn't know it, but those questions were time bombs.
"A book I might like…"
Not wanting to leave empty-handed, I picked up a book about making cocktails. I can't buy alcohol, of course, but I figured there'd be no issue with reading about it. Worst case, I could just say it's for my dad.
"It's getting dark."
Looking outside, I noticed the sky slowly changing colors, it was clear night was approaching. In the end, Lusia had been right, it would've been better to go out on a weekend.
"The day's almost over…"
Sunset had never made me feel anything—it was just like a clock moving its hands. So why… why did it feel so different now?
"Aisha!"
I snapped out of it when I saw Lusia approaching with a bag containing some books. I thought I might see what she bought through the bag, but she had thought ahead and used an opaque one.
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
"Yeah."
Her satisfaction was clear. To share in her happiness, I showed her the book I'd picked out.
"Following in your father's footsteps, huh? He'd be proud."
"Or he'll scold me for buying a book about alcohol as a minor."
"You worry too much!"
"Maybe… Let's pay.""Already did."
"You're really set on keeping your purchases hidden, huh…"
Accepting I wouldn't satisfy my curiosity, I went to the register and paid for my book.
"All paid."
"Perfect, now…"
"Something wrong?""It's getting dark.""Yeah, I noticed earlier."
"We should head home—we can continue another day."
"Yeah… Right."
We could continue another day, after all, we were still friends… Right?
"Aisha, come on."
"Ah, right."
Lusia took the lead, heading back the way we came. We were in a bit of a rush because of the time, it made sense to go home as soon as possible so we wouldn't worry our families. But…
GAF
"..."
"Aisha?"
I didn't know why, but I stopped Lusia. We should've kept going, but I didn't want to move. I didn't even want her to move.
"..."
"Aisha, it's going to get dark."
"I know…"
There was no logic to what I was doing. Why was I so desperate to keep her by my side? My actions didn't make sense, yet Lusia seemed to understand something.
"I knew something was off with you…"
"..."
"Aren't you going to tell me what it is?"
"...No…"
"I get that it could be something personal, but—"
"It's not that… I… I don't know what's wrong with me…"
"You don't know?"
"This feeling… I've had it for hours… No, for days."
I wanted to put what I was feeling into words, but for the first time, I felt powerless, unable to express it.
"I don't understand… But I want to."
"Heh… I see."
Gently, Lusia stroked my hand and pulled me, not toward the road home, but to a nearby bench.
"...Lusia?""Thought you'd feel calmer sitting down."
"I don't know…"
Sitting beside me, Lusia looked me in the eyes, still holding my hand. She'd probably asked herself this question a lot while looking at me, but now, I was the one wondering: What is she thinking?
"There's not much I can say.""I see…""You'll have to do it.""I already told you I—""Don't tell me how you feel. Just think, what made you feel that way?""…What made me feel that way?""You're smart. You should at least know the moment were you started feeling it.""The moment…"
I ran in circles in my head, trying to recall the exact moment. I tried as hard as I could, until I felt something click.
"I… I started feeling this way the day you came to my house.""That day?""That day… when you reminded me about our bet… something happened…""Our bet…""But that wasn't the moment the feeling got stronger…""When was it?""It was… the day of your check-up.""Why?""That day… I experienced what it would be like to go back to my usual routine. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but… I couldn't stand being without you for even that short while…""…""The more I think about our bet, the more I feel those feelings grow stronger and stronger… You're not the type to abandon me… but… what if I'm wrong?"
The more I thought about it, the clearer everything became. I even felt a little dumb for not understanding it earlier… But understanding didn't make it any easier to feel.
"I see.""…""I didn't know I had achieved so much. I guess I should feel proud.""…""Come on, say something.""I… I don't know what to say…""Hmm…"
Lusia tilted her head as if trying to come up with an idea, and before I knew it, she was gently stroking my head with her free hand.
"I guess I owe you this.""…What are you doing?""Comforting a scared kid.""…We're the same age.""Maybe, but it's obvious you're scared.""Scared…?""You can't deny it. And in a way, I get it.""You do?""That's right. And because I do…"
Slowly, Lusia raised the hand that was holding mine, so that both of our hands were at chest level. When we got there, I could feel her pinky intertwine with mine.
"I'll just have to make sure that fear disappears.""How?""…Our bet was fun.""Huh?"
The sudden change in topic threw me off, but I quickly understood everything thanks to Lusia's next words.
"It was so fun that I want to make another one.""…Another bet?""That's right. I just want you to accept it.""…Alright."
I didn't know what I was agreeing to, but even so, I didn't refuse.
"This is our bet… no, is a promise.""?""From now on, if we ever stop being friends, if one day we abandon each other, I'll tell you everything you want to know about me.""…Everything?""I won't be allowed to hide anything from you. Even if it hurts, even if I suffer, I'll have to tell you everything you want.""…But that…""You know me well enough to understand what I'm putting on the line."
I couldn't say anything. I didn't expect Lusia to risk something she clearly didn't want to reveal. I wanted to speak, but she was faster.
"I guess that means I'm tied to you now."
Despite her words, she was smiling. Somehow, I understood what she meant with that smile.
"I have no plans to abandon you, so my secrets are safe."
My grip weakened, if Lusia had wanted to, she could've let go of me right then. But she didn't.
"…Just don't regret it…""You know I won't.""If you say so…""If I make more friends, I'll see if they'll help me try to make you happy too.""I don't know if I could handle multiple Lusias…""That kinda sounded like an insult."
After letting out a small laugh, Lusia suddenly made a face like, "Oh, right." Clearly, she had remembered something.
"Speaking of happiness… since I already won our bet no matter what happens, shouldn't you fulfill your part?""My part?... Oh."
I had been so focused on the thought of losing Lusia that I'd completely forgotten that detail. What I had to do was…
"…Smile?""That's right. I've been waiting a long time for this.""Technically, there are still a few hours left…""You know I won. You might as well give me my prize now.""Well…"
I tried to lift my cheeks, but for some reason, I felt a bit of pain when I tried. Was my face that stiff?
"Need help?""No… I just…"
I don't remember the last time I moved my jaw this much. I'd gone from doing the same thing every day to having to put on a big smile. How did things get here in just one month?
"Ow ow ow…""Is it that hard?""A little…""Hmm… Okay, open wide.""Huh?"
The next few minutes could be summed up as Lusia putting her thumbs in my mouth and trying to help me make a big smile. It was weird, pretty ridiculous… but somehow, fun.
In that way, just as strange as our entire relationship, just as absurd as our time together, and just as complicated as the future.
We move forward