Comedic relief chapter
Akira gobbled down his food like a hungry wolf.
He was squatting next to the vending machine and giving the 'poor soul' who was 'cooking like no tomorrow' within it constant encouragement and reassurances that he would be rescued very, very soon.
Between mouthfuls, he kept glancing up at the glowing screen of the vending machine, his eyes filled with something between suspicion and sympathy.
"Don't worry, I hear you in there." he said seriously, voice muffled with rice. "Just hang in there a little longer. I'm almost done. Then I'll break you out."
A soft mechanical whirring came from the vents. The machine cheerfully announced: "Your meal is ready. Please collect within 30 seconds."
Akira nodded with grim approval and pointed a chopstick at the center panel. "You're scared, I can tell. You've been forced to cook nonstop without rest. Don't be afraid. I'll get you out."
A group of students had begun to gather around him, some holding their trays, others holding back laughter. One girl nudged her friend and whispered, "Is he... talking to the machine?"
Another boy pulled out his phone to record.
"Bro, what are you doing squatting there, we have tables and chairs aplenty in there." A kind young man approached Akira and pointed to the massive cafeteria just behind them.
There were at least fifty of the huge vending machines spread all over the cafeteria as well, each one with a line of students queuing up to buy their food.
Akira scrunched up his nose suspiciously at the young man.
"Who are you and why must I sit in that gathering of sinners? All of you know clearly that there are poor souls stuck in these boxes, and yet you all do nothing to save them, and even buy from them everyday? Nay! I will not sit with you!"
"Poor souls inside? Is it a chef ghost? A cursed spirit?" one muttered, half-joking.
"This is a top of the line Mitsubishishi Magic Kitchen Series, it can produce 200 plates of food daily. What is there to save it from?" The kind young man asked Akira gently.
"IT? You even refer to him as IT! You clearly do not value human life! My apologies. I do not want to talk with evil people like you."
Akira then proceeded to ignore all of them.
He took another messy bite, cheeks full, and called out again to the poor soul in the big box. "You're fast. So fast. I haven't even finished my rice, and you've already cooked another meal? That's... that's dedication. Damn it. Who made you work like this?!"
The machine responded with another friendly chime: "Order complete. Please enjoy your meal."
Akira paused and nodded solemnly. "That's right. Keep going. One last bowl. Then I'll destroy this prison. I swear it."
He shifted slightly in his squat, scooping up the last of the rice and making sure to collect every crumb. His chopsticks clacked with military rhythm. Students now openly stared from the cafeteria tables, whispering and giggling.
"I think he thinks there's a person trapped in there…"
"Maybe it's performance art?"
"Should we call someone?"
Meanwhile, Akira patted the vending machine's side twice, like encouraging a fellow soldier. "You're not alone anymore. Just hang in there. I'm almost done."
Five minutes later…
Akira placed his now-empty tray on the floor with quiet reverence. He stood up slowly, cracked his knuckles, then bowed slightly to the vending machine.
"You've waited long enough." he muttered. "Prepare yourself. I'm coming in."
Without warning, he took a sharp step back and snapped into a fighting stance, his eyes narrowing like he was facing a mid-tier demon beast.
Gasps rippled through the student crowd.
"No way… is he seriously going to attack the vending machine?"
"W-Wait! Bro! What do you think you're doing? I just made an order for ramen!"
Then came the sound.
BAM!
Akira's palm struck the machine's side in a precise, flat-handed blow. The machine let out a mechanical hum, completely unaffected. Akira frowned.
"Solid defense. Good craftsmanship." he murmured. "But no wall is unbreakable."
"Aiyeee! Dude!! My ramen is in there!! Get the hell away!"
But Akira ignored him and he drew back a little before delivering a powerful Lightning Element Imbued kick!
BAM!
This time, the machine rattled slightly. The screen flickered once. A faint clatter of canned soup could be heard falling somewhere inside. A girl screamed.
"Oh my god, someone stop him!"
The kind young man from earlier fumbled for his badge and shouted. "STOP! I'm Prefect Arai! Step away from the machine!"
Akira ignored him.
He punched again.
BAM!
A boy sprinted toward the main cafeteria terminal and slammed the red alert button. A second later, a buzzing alarm rang out through the cafeteria ceiling.
"PREFECT SQUAD ALPHA TO ZONE 3! PREFECT SQUAD ALPHA TO ZONE 3!"
Akira had now crouched low, circling the vending machine with a cold hunter's gaze. "It's too strong for normal attacks? Well, let's see you defend against my fusion attack!"
"HEY!" someone shouted.
Three student prefects in navy armbands and shin-length jackets burst through the crowd, one with a stun baton, another with what looked suspiciously like a handheld riot shield, and the third one already chanting a low-grade restraining spell.
"Step away from the Magic Kitchen, sir!" the lead prefect yelled, voice clipped and panicked. "You are interfering with registered food production property under Article 72-C of Campus Welfare and Infrastructure Code!"
Akira didn't even blink.
Instead, he leapt forward and delivered a flying punch aglow with Lightning and Ice Elements fused together, straight into the machine's delivery chute.
BAM!
Soup packets exploded inside. The machine stuttered and released a burst of hot air.
"MY RAMENN!!" Wailed the hungry boy.
The lead prefect howled and charged, baton raised.
"Deploying soft force! Target is a possible psycho!"
Akira twisted mid-air and parried the baton with a lunch tray, then used it as a springboard to backflip over the second prefect's shield bash.
Gasps and cheers erupted from the crowd.
"He just used a tray to fly…?!"
"Is he part of the gymnastics club?!"
"No, wait, I think he's a transfer student from the Special Combat Academy!"
The third prefect managed to finish her spell.
"Binding Web!"
Glowing blue cords shot toward Akira who dodged three, ducked the fourth, then let the fifth wrap around his leg on purpose. He yanked the cord and pulled the caster toward him.
"You look like a nice girl. Why are you so insistent on stopping my rescue mission? Wake up, little girl! Value human life!" Akira said solemnly to the dazed prefect as he caught her off-balance and gently set her aside like a stray kitten.
At that moment, the vending machine gave a tired beep.
"Error. Internal damage. Please contact support."
Akira froze.
Then his eyes widened in horror.
"No… No no no! I hit it too hard! Are you still there?! Say something!"
He slapped the panel with both hands. "Talk to me! Don't go silent on me now! STAY WITH ME!!"
"Sir, you are under arrest for vending machine assault, reckless endangerment, and… and talking to inanimate objects!" yelled Prefect Arai as he finally tackled Akira from behind.
The others joined in, dragging Akira away as he struggled.
"Let go! He's inside! We still have to get him out! He said he is suffering from internal damage! He might be bleeding out!!"