They are giving me the watch from the past three nights. It seems more like a way to give Thorin time with me alone. He is getting under my skin, trying to pull me out from the dark place I had gone in. Step by step he is leading me out. I want to get out, I hated that place. I didn't know how to get out of it.
It's my watch again and I'm sitting at my usual place near the tree. He came to sit, as he bent his braids hung forward. I had seen the braids of course but hadn't really noticed them. He had some pretty nicely carved beads on them. He saw me looking but didn't say anything. I didn't know much about the significance of dwarf braids and beards but what I did know was that they were a huge deal for them and not every one is allowed to touch them.
"I saw Kili trying to braid his hair today" I say trying to break the silence " The poor kid was failing miserably I told him I could help him or make it for him."
A shadow passed over Thorin's face, "And?" he whispered his voice tight.
I shrug. "He didn't let me. He said he loves his life.... whatever that's supposed to mean"
I saw his posture and expression relax visibly.
"What do you know about dwarf braids?" He asked
"Not much" I shake my head. "I just know that they are very touchy about them" I say smiling.
He nodded. "We are, only our close kindred and partners can braid our hair or touch them. They play a big part signifying our status and who we belong to. And as for our beards only the person we are courting can touch them."
"Oh" I whisper finally understanding why Kili didn't let me braid his hair. "No wonder he wouldn't let me touch them"
He looks at me closely, "I wouldn't want anyone touching yours too.... unless of course they want to lose their hands." He whispered. My eyes dart towards him with my brows raised, "it's an intimate act, as I have said before, no one touches what's mine."
I can feel my cheek growing warm. His hand brushes my hair away from my shoulder his eyes not leaving my face.
"Where are we going to go from here?" I ask in a desperate act to change the topic.
His chuckle is enough to tell me that I wasn't as subtle as I wanted to be. "Home" he replied, "The road ahead is going to take us home." I don't know why but the way his eyes are exploring my face today is giving me a heavy load of butterflies in my belly.
" I wonder how that's going to end" I sigh
"It would end with Erebor having a Queen." he says eyes turning to me. There is something going on with him today. His eyes, his voice his gestures are an open display of need..... desire. My throat is drying. I want someone to release me from the watch but I also know that there's still a lot of time.
"It's a very long and hard road Thorin" I whisper releasing my breath.
"Hmmm but it leads home.... " a dreamy look in his eyes as he stares in the night. The silence is comfortable, without the need to fill the space with words.
I feel his hand on mine, he opens my palm cupping my hand into his and slowly raises it to his cheek, eyes never leaving mine, leaving my hand there he moves his away but it's still hovering over mine.
My fingers have mind of their own as they run through his beard my thumb caressing his cheek softly... His beard is not that long like the others but it's not very short either. It's soft and his skin seems to be burning.
There's a shuffle behind us and I pull my hand back quickly as soon as the spell is broken and I realize what I'm doing.
It's Ori coming to release me from the watch. Thorin seems as if he's ready to sucker punch him. His expression is so funny that it tears a laugh out of my mouth. He looks at me "Don't ever stop laughing again Ibinê"
xxxxxxxxx
I wake up at early light the others are still sleeping except Bilbo who's on watch. I think this is the best time for a bath as the others are sleeping. I tip toe to Bilbo.
"I'm going for a bath. Please make sure no one comes there" I whisper and he nods his head. I take a nice long bath, when I come back they are all up, getting breakfast ready. I've washed my travelling clothes and put them out to dry. When we had camped there a few dwarves with Gandalf had gone to a small town about an hour away and brought some supplies. Gandalf had brought me some new clothes similar to the ones the Elves had made me. I'm thankful he did.
The dwarves are discussing the things they need from the town as we will be moving again tomorrow and we need supplies as Gandalf has already made it clear that there is no other town close by after this.
"You coming?" Fili asks me
I shake my head, "No I think I'll stay"
"Need anything?" it was Kili this time, I smile "I'm fine."
"How about some sweet crispies?"
My eyes light up. "They have them here?" I ask like a child asking for candy.
He nods
"Yes please." I say clapping lightly. I love that little treat.
The dwarves plan on leaving in the late afternoon.
Before leaving Oin comes to me with his bag of medicines.
"Do me a favor lass. Thorin needs a change of bandages in about an hour. You'll have to do it, I'll tell you how to clean, put the ointment and a new bandage"
I look up dumbfounded, my mouth open nothing coming out of it, I'm sure my face has gone two shades paler.
"I think you broke her." Kili laughs from behind.
"Why do I have to do it?" my voice squeaky.
"Cause I won't be here to do it." he replied calmly
"Why can't you wait and go after changing it." I look like a rabbit trying to look for a place to hide. "Or leave Ori behind he can do it. Who else is staying?"
"Ummm Thorin" he replies "You didn't want to come so I figured you can do it. It's not hard at all"
Ya right my brain rings.
"Besides Ori wants to come" He continued.
I swallow my mouth dry. "Why can't one of you stay with us?"
"Because we have to gather the supplies" Dwalin says a knowing look on his face
"But what if something happens?" I squeak again
"Nothing will happen lass, this land is protected by the beast as Gandalf has told us and Thorin is strong enough to deal with anything else." A knowing smile curves Dwalin's lips. he winks and raises his thumbs up.
I open my mouth to say something else but I have run out of words. I look at Thorin and he's looking at me with a satisfied smirk on his face.
I'm a nervous wreck after the dwarves leave. Me and Thorin are sitting at our usual place his back leaning against the tree.
"Relax, he has only asked you to change the bandages not operate on me' he says his eyes twinkling.
" What if I mess up" I say exasperated.
"You won't" he says rubbing his thumb on my cheek.
With that he starts to take his shirt off. I look at him my eyes widening
" W..What are you doing?" I say
"Getting ready." He looks me dead in the eye.
"For what?" My bravado leaving me I ask softly
"Where do you think my wound is? Here?" He points to his temple.
He's leaning against the tree again, I'm trying not to stare, his chest and arms are strongly built, packed with muscles. Wide shoulders strongly carved. There's light hairs peppering his chest. I can feel the colour rising in my cheeks. There's a bandage wrapped around his lower chest.
Oh God the heat in my stomach is roaring and his stare on my face is making it worse. I take Oin's bag and scoot closer to him.
"Move your hair" I say my voice sounds breathier than I want.
He doesn't move. His eyes glued to my face observing every expression, every movement of my eyes and the heat rising in my face.
I look up at him but when I'm sure he won't move a muscle to help me I slide his hair back, my fingers graze against his shoulder and I feel sudden tingly sparks in my finger tips. I think he feels them too as his breath is getting deeper The gesture of him letting me touch his hair has not gone un noticed. I've never been this close to him even when he's fully dressed let alone like this.
I cut the bandage with the scissors and begin unwrapping it from around his chest.
"Can you please stop staring at me like that?" I whisper. I'm giving every ounce of my will to keep my breathing even but I guess the drying of my lips and throat is not making it easier
I remove his bandage and gasp. His wound is huge. The warg's teeth had sunk deep. I feel tears pooling in my eyes,
"What the hell were you thinking trying to pull a stunt like that? You could have died." I say in a low voice.
"Why are you crying? Why does my death scare you so much?" He whispers eyes stuck to me.
" Don't be stupid Thorin" I say as my tears escape
"Answer me" he holds my hand away from the place I'm cleaning.
"Let me" he doesn't let me complete the sentence
"Answer me Maur" his voice getting deeper.
"Cause I lo...." I check myself mid sentence. Take in a deep breath and say, "Cause we need you Thorin. Your people need you".
I pull my hand from his grip and start cleaning his wound again.
I can feel the heat of his gaze on mine as he bores deep into me, "I want you to complete what you were saying before" I just lookup at him. Meet his gaze. I keep my eyes locked on his as I clean and apply the ointment on his chest.
Then I move behind him sitting on my knees and my breathing gets easier when his gaze is ahead.
"Don't ever try to do what you did in the forest again. I'll kill you myself if you do." He shoulders move as he chuckles silently.. I wrap a new bandage around his chest. I'm done, I stand to get out from behind him when he stands and turns to me. There's another thing left,
"What?" I ask looking at him.
" I't hurts and I need a kiss to make the pain go away" he says making a puppy face.
"Oh puhleeeeez" I say as I try to move away.
" You can't deny a dying man his last wish Maur." He says his eyes smiling. I'm stuck between him and the tree.
"Ok" I move forward to peck him on the cheek when he moves his head. Our lips are a hair breadth away. I can feel his warm breath on mine. "Either you kiss me where it hurts" he whispers pointing to his chest, "or you kiss me where I want"
I can't kiss his chest..... It's too... too intimate. My breathing is going shallower as I see his eyes darkening. He gaze drops to my lips and hear a soft deep growl "Let go" I release' my lip which I didn't even know I was holding in my teeth.
"You have two seconds to take a decision or I will take it for you." He whispers his pupils dilated making his eyes look dark. I can feel his heart pumping wildly under my hand.
I place a soft peck on his lips. "Happy?" I say moving back.
Without any warning at all I find his lips locked on mine, his mouth needy and warm, tasting of a hint of tobacco and spices. His teeth scrape on my lower lip, his tongue leaving warm wet swirls. I gasp when I feel his teeth graze on the soft flesh inside my lip and his tongue plunges in to my mouth. He wraps his arm around my waist pressing his body into mine his muscles tight and hard.
I relax in his hold tilting my head up to give him better access to my mouth. His tongue exploring every centimeter of my mouth pressing me against the tree trying to go deeper. There is a wave of emotions, my body seeping in heat my breathing escalating, I place my hands on his neck dipping my tongue into his mouth as I hear a groan of pleasure rumble in his chest. His hand grabbing the back of my neck pushing forward as he sucks on my tongue. The heat in my body tickling all the way down. Our mouths separate to take in air his lips trailing along my jaw bone to my neck. I move my head to give him room his mouth his lips moving deliberately and slowly, licking scraping his teeth to the nape of my neck. His muscles clenching as a slow moan leaves my mouth. He moves the fabric his lips tracing my collar bone. It seems like he doesn't to leave a single area un touched. His beard rough grazing on my skin. He pushes my top aside with his cheek as he goes lower our bodies entwined my hand in his hair, His mouth leaving a warm trail as he reaches the top plump of my breast and bites softly. It sends a jolt of pleasure and shiver down my spine I gasp as we hear the others talking and laughing.
My hands push lightly on his shoulders, "Stop" I whisper
"No" I hear his hoarse reply.
"Yes" I say giving out a light breathy laugh. He looks up at me eyes still smoldering as he straightens holding my face in his hands and places his forehead on mine. This is the most beautiful and calming feeling I've had. He moves his head back gazing at me, taking in my flushed cheek, kissed lips, small pink marks left by his teeth and beard, "You look beautiful" he whispers and holds me in his arms. I can sleep in this hug for hours, his arms strong reassuring my head on his chest.
"They are back." I say looking up at him, "I can't go in front of them looking like this."
"Looking like what?" he looks at me
"Like this" I say pointing my hands to my face, "I have Thorin written all over me."
He lets out a deep hearty laugh, it's the most beautiful sound in the world.
"I love you Maur" he whispers placing his chin on my head.
"And I love you too." I whisper he stiffens backing away his gaze searching my face
"Say it again" he breathes out his voice tight and desperate
"I love you too Thorin" I say meeting his eyes, his muscles relax as he hugs me tightly with a look of content and satisfaction on his face.....