Standing before him was a man with silver-white hair, a black mask covering his face.
His left eye was hidden beneath a forehead protector, and he wore a sleek black combat suit beneath the standard green jōnin flak jacket.
Ye Wudi seemed to size him up, pretending to hesitate before accepting the skewer of candied hawthorn offered to him.
But the moment stretched.
Under Ye Wudi's gaze, Kakashi didn't dodge or retreat. Instead, he gave a bright, crescent-eyed smile that seemed warm and easygoing.
To most thirteen-year-olds, this kind of approachable charm would probably have been disarming, even captivating. Their guard would've come down on the spot.
Unfortunately for him, the one he ran into today wasn't just any thirteen-year-old.
It was him. Ye Wudi.
"You trying to lure kids with candy, you creepy old man?"
"I'm just saying, trying to kidnap a kid with one measly skewer of candied hawthorn? That's not even close to professional!"
Ye Wudi beamed a dazzling, sunshine-bright smile at Kakashi, unloading criticism like a rapid-fire barrage.
"And who told you kids like candied hawthorn anyway? Whatever they're paying you to peddle that stuff, I'll double it with dango!"
"No make that ten times!"
"..."
Kakashi stared at Ye Wudi, completely at a loss.
Creepy old man? Kidnapping? Not professional?
What was any of this supposed to mean?
Since when were kids this sharp, this suspicious?
Ordinarily, a kid would've just grabbed the candy without a second thought...
Snatch!
Just as Kakashi was thinking that, a hand suddenly shot out and snatched the skewer from his hand.
"I'll take that, thanks!"
Ding! Congratulations, Host, you've received 66 points of negative emotion from Hatake Kakashi!
Wait… Didn't this brat just say he didn't want it?
Then why did he
"Here, Hinata. You can have mine. Say ah~"
"Thank you, Wudi-nii! Ah~"
Ding! Congratulations, Host, you've received 99 points of negative emotion from Hatake Kakashi!
Watching Ye Wudi not only lecture him but also use his candied hawthorn to flirt with Hinata, the smile on Kakashi's face began to twitch and stiffen.
"…Ahem. Wudi, I haven't even gotten to the point of my visit yet."
But Ye Wudi showed no intention of giving him room to speak. He interrupted casually, voice brimming with mock innocence.
"So, Kakashi-sensei, what exactly did you want to ask?"
"Spit it out, fart it out, whatever. Just hurry. We've got school, and I've got a Sasuke to tease!"
Who had time to waste on petty 66-point or 99-point emotion values?
Better to hit up the ninja academy and rack up a proper haul.
Just one solid slap to Sasuke and Sakura each, or another accidental smooch between Sasuke and Naruto, and he'd be rolling in a fresh wave of emotional value.
Why keep hanging around here?
Not a chance.
"..."
While Ye Wudi was running these calculations in his head, Kakashi's gaze narrowed.
So you do know who I am. All that clueless routine was just an act.
But then he remembered what the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, had said about this kid.
Ye Wudi mischievous, cunning, always stirring up trouble.
But he wasn't all bluster. His speed was no joke, honed through years of relentless training and backed by real talent.
Putting all that aside, Kakashi finally got down to the reason he'd come in the first place.
"About that Body Flicker Technique you've been practicing where did you learn it?"
"Oh, that?" Ye Wudi flashed a wholesome smile. "Of course I can tell you, Kakashi-sensei."
But for some reason, Kakashi felt a strange chill run down his spine. Something about that smile didn't sit right.
"I found it written on a scroll I picked up at the bottom of a cliff when I was a kid," Ye Wudi continued, nodding solemnly. "I still remember the first line it's stuck with me all these years."
If he could deliver that first page's contents convincingly, that should be enough to satisfy the mission requirement and get him back to reading Make-Out Paradise in peace.
"The first line?" Kakashi asked. "Can you tell me what it said?"
"Sure."
Ye Wudi's face remained sunny and sincere. But the words that followed
"'To master this technique, you must first… castrate yourself.'"
"W-Wait… Castrate? Then doesn't that mean you and Shisui both…?"
Hiss-!
Kakashi's eyes involuntarily dropped downward. He sucked in a breath.
No wonder Shisui was so fast. That was the real secret?
"A man without distractions moves like the wind…" Kakashi whispered in awe.
Who knew Shisui was that… committed?
"..."
While Kakashi was deep in that disturbing realization, Ye Wudi casually drew a kunai.
His gaze locked onto a very specific spot on Kakashi's person, his eyes glowing with something that could only be described as… kindness.
"Kakashi-sensei, are you trying to say… you don't need yours?"
"N-No! I do! I absolutely need it!" Kakashi backed up in panic, instinctively bringing his legs closer together.
Hell no. He hadn't even finished reading Make-Out Paradise Vol. 4 yet.
There was no way he'd be giving that up anytime soon.
"Then how did you manage to master it, Wudi?" Kakashi asked, still shaken.
"Easy. I turned to the second page," Ye Wudi replied brightly. "It said: 'If you wish to succeed, castration is optional.'"
"..."
Kakashi's face turned pitch black.
He couldn't tell whether he'd just been pranked… or if Shisui really was that ruthless.
Ding! Congratulations, Host, you've received 666 points of negative emotion from Hatake Kakashi!
"Ahem. Alright, alright. Let's set aside whether castration is really necessary for now."
"Wudi, can you at least tell me where that scroll is now?"
Kakashi decided it was better to verify the truth himself than keep guessing.
But Ye Wudi, clearly done with this conversation, had already turned to leave. He waved a hand over his shoulder, voice light and careless.
"The scroll? Used it to grill fish. Why, you want some grilled fish too, Kakashi-sensei? If so, I could-"
"No, no, no! I don't want any fish!"
Ding! Congratulations, Host, you've received 66 points of negative emotion from Hatake Kakashi!
Since the scroll was gone, Kakashi decided it was time for one final question.
"Wudi, this is my last question. Your-"
"Shut it! I said I'd treat you to grilled fish, so let me do it properly first. You can ask after."
Before Kakashi could finish, Ye Wudi had already cut him off and marched straight to a fish vendor.
Pulling out a thick wad of bills from his pocket, he slammed them down on the counter.
"Boss! Bring out the fattest fish you've got I'm setting them all free!"
"You got it!"
What a good kid, thought the shopkeeper. Spending his own money to feed his teacher like this
Wait. Free them?!
Wasn't this supposed to be about grilled fish?
What happened to the grilled fish?!
Kakashi's face twisted in disbelief.
Ding! Congratulations, Host, you've received 666 points of negative emotion from Hatake Kakashi!