Chapter 31: Hachiman Caught Red-Handed
In the blacksmith's workshop where sparks were flying, Lisbeth was focused on hammering a red-hot iron blank.
Suddenly, the wooden door of the forge was pushed open, and Asuna rushed in, swept along by a fragrant breeze.
"Lisbeth!" The white skirt of the sword user swept across the floor. "Hachiman has been acting really suspicious these past few days."
The blacksmith almost poked her own ponytail with the fire tongs. "Huh? When isn't that guy sneaky? Last week he even stocked up on twenty doses of paralysis poison at the potion shop."
"That may be true, but this time it's different from usual."
Asuna's suspicion came from the fact that recently, Hachiman had been frequenting accessory stores and furniture shops he would never normally visit.
Although Lisbeth initially thought Hachiman being suspicious was the norm, after hearing the details, she did realize this time was unusual.
'Hmm, hmm, hmm, a woman's scent? No, no, no, there's absolutely no way it's Hachiman. Then what could it be…'
Clang! The hammer struck the anvil, sending sparks flying. "That Hachiman who bargains for thirty minutes even at NPC shops? That's definitely the opposite of suspicious behavior."
Lisbeth's hammer froze mid-air. "Are you sure it's not some perverted player impersonating him?"
Asuna shook a hologram out of her equipment menu: the image showed casually dressed Hachiman tiptoeing around the 22nd-floor furniture store, measuring curtains.
When he picked up a pink ruffled cushion to inspect it, both girls shuddered simultaneously.
"See?"
"Alright, Asuna, let's go tail Hachiman."
"Wait, wait, wait! Tail Hachiman? No way! He'd definitely notice. Last time Kirito tried to tail him and got lost."
"No problem, Asuna. I have a secret technique!"
Lisbeth grinned slyly.
.
.
.
"So, you wanted to see me?"
It seemed Lisbeth's secret weapon was Argo.
After hearing about Hachiman's odd behavior, she promptly accepted the mission to tail him.
Unaware, Hachiman was humming and upgrading his house's facilities, completely oblivious to the net closing in on him, all observed by Argo.
A few days later, Argo submitted the investigation report.
"He often lingers near a certain tower in district 22, but every time he approaches it, he mysteriously disappears."
"Is there anything there?"
"We checked, but there's nothing."
"Hmmm, suspicious indeed, Asuna."
"What should we do?"
"We have to ambush and catch him in the act."
"But won't Hachiman notice?"
The three racked their brains for a countermeasure and finally came up with a workable plan.
The next day at noon, in front of the decorative tower.
"This is the 'perfect disguise' you mentioned, Lisbeth?" Asuna twitched at her companion's work.
Three yellow warning cloths reading "Caution: Slippery" were draped crookedly over bushes, with half a blacksmith's hammer sticking out underneath.
Even more ridiculous, Lisbeth had written on the fabric in fluorescent paint: "No beautiful girls are hiding here~"
"Do you know anything about psychology?" Lisbeth said proudly, giving a thumbs-up. "The more suspicious the disguise, the more he'll suspect there's really a trap, and then…"
"Then he'll come over like a shark smelling blood?" Asuna guessed suspiciously.
"Hachiman's coming, hide now."
After a short wait, Hachiman's figure appeared in the distance. He was clearly startled and cautiously approached.
"Very careful, as expected."
"If we come out too early, he'll escape."
"Asuna, try to lure him as close as possible."
The two held their breath watching Hachiman approach.
After a while, he finally reached out to lift the cloth.
"Time for the social butterfly to explode!" Lisbeth swung her war hammer and jumped out, while Asuna's slender sword simultaneously blocked the escape route.
But Hachiman seemed to anticipate their attack, sliding through the gap between them.
"How did you—Ugh, so it really is a trap!"
Hachiman turned and fled down the street, but Asuna was prepared.
Using her sword sheath, she unleashed 'Stardust Splash' on his back.
Though he wouldn't be hurt inside the circle, the shockwave knocked Hachiman to the ground. Lisbeth immediately pinned him down, smirking as she said:
"Alright, Hachiman, unless you want to be locked up for… sexual… harassment, you'd better confess."
"You guys are way too harsh."
"So, what are you doing here?"
"I… was going to tell you when there was a chance."
"Do you really think there'll be a chance?"
"S-Sorry, Hachiman, that didn't hurt, right?"
"It didn't hurt, but you were definitely serious just now."
"Must be an illusion, right?"
"Y-Yeah."
Seeing Asuna's unamused smile, Hachiman instinctively switched to polite speech.
"What exactly is here?"
Sigh "Follow me."
After Hachiman operated the interface, a door opened on the side of the tower.
"Huh? What's this? The secret base of an evil organization?"
"Ah… this is my home."
"Hachiman's home!?"
The unexpectedly honest answer shocked the two, but they decided to go in and check it out. A spiral staircase led upward.
"Wow~ quite tasteful. Asuna, hold Hachiman down while I take a look. If he tries to run, I'll trigger the… sexual… harassment alert."
"Sorry, Lisbeth, I already disabled the harassment alert for Hachiman."
"Huh?"
"Ha?"
Both Hachiman and Lisbeth froze.
'No wonder the alert didn't go off when I touched Asuna before.'
Lisbeth quickly snapped out of it:
"Hachiman, you didn't hear any of that, right?"
"Y-Yes."
"Then let's go up. Hachiman, lead the way."
At the top floor, the two were amazed by the spacious room, exquisite equipment, and decorations.
As they entered, Asuna suddenly froze for a moment—under the velvet cloth she just lifted was a scale model of the Aincrad map!
Each floor was marked in different colors. At the 22nd floor's position, a small flag read: "Where Asuna first made curry pork cutlet."
Asuna's cheek felt warm.
Trying to hide it, she brushed nonexistent hair behind her ear and walked toward the bedroom.
"Hachiman…" The sword user's voice suddenly turned eerily gentle. "Can you explain why my life-sized body pillow is in your main bedroom?"
"T-That's a renovation gift!"
'Ahh, that's way too obvious.'
Under the pressure of their coercion, Hachiman reluctantly handed over the keys, which made the two glow with joy.
"Don't move in."
"Don't worry, I'll be careful!"
"Spending the night is okay, preferably together."
"OK OK, Hachiman, you're so generous!"
"There are three rooms left. You can share or separate, move your own furniture. Once the rooms are decided, I'll set them so only the owner can open."
"Great! Let's go shopping now, Lisbeth!"
"Can I put my forging tools in another hall?"
"Sure, that place wasn't used anyway."
"Thanks! Let's go, Asuna!"
And so, Hachiman's secret base was forcibly divided.
'But maybe that's not such a bad thing.'
Feeling how he still wasn't good at refusing others, and how he was no longer so resistant to being around people.
Hachiman swallowed back the "Secret Base Usage Rules" he had prepared.
He touched the design blueprint for a four-person tea set in his pocket and faintly smiled.