Today, Class 1-A finally rolled back in after their internships.
The vibe was electric - louder than usual, chatter bouncing around about everyone's week. Some were hyped, raving about new skills they'd picked up; others were griping, worn out from getting their asses handed to them in all sorts of ways. Bakugo, though? He looked like he'd been through hell - Best Jeanist tamed that wild hair into something straight out of a bad barber's joke, and Hanta and Eijiro were roasting him 'til his ears smoked. Brutal, but I couldn't help smirking at the prick's misery.
Me? I was the odd man out, parked at my desk, flipping through some pointless book while half-listening to the noise - checking if their internship stories matched the original timeline or veered off.
"Fourth Kind was insane! Taught me a ton of new moves!" Kirishima beamed, all fired up.
Tetsutetsu poked his head in from the hall, nodding. "Yeah, strict as hell, but worth every second!"
Across the room, Mina, Tsuyu, and Kyoka were grilling Ochako, while Kaminari latched onto Mineta, begging for "girl-hunting tips" from his time with Mt. Lady. Judging by Mineta's sour, spooked face, that internship was a total shitshow.
"You okay? Your condition doesn't seem to be very good…" Izuku popped up beside me, concern all over his face.
"I'm fine. Thanks, Izuku, but I'm good," I brushed him off. Truth is, even with the wound closed, my gut still twinged like a bastard. Standing or moving too much? Grit my teeth and bear it - pure hell.
He nodded, smiling lightly. "Okay. Let me know if you need anything!" Then he shuffled off.
...
Monday's class wasn't awful. Aizawa kept his usual chill, though his finals announcement had an edge that lit a fire under everyone - half excitement, half pants-shitting dread.
Since my condition is not so good - frankly, still too bad to participate in the Rescue Training Race, I've been given a special leave of absence before returning to my afternoon tutoring class - which will be a little late. No big deal.
To max out our prep, I had to snag Mineta after lunch break. His brain's a goldmine for theory - top-tier in class - and me and Himiko needed more than those after-hours catch-ups. Naturally, there's a catch: I'd trade him "girl advice," 99% bullshit, straight out of some multilevel marketing self-help scam, along with some bullshit pages that I found on Facebook before I transmigrated to this world. I think that page's name was "Lai H." or something... I'm not sure...
Somehow, thay little perv bought it, which cracked me up.
At first, Mineta squinted at me, suspicious I was trolling. But a simp's desperation is predictable as fuck - dangle a hint, and he'd fill in the blanks with his own delusions. Never thought I'd play love guru to this shrimp, but whatever - as long as he tutors us, it's a cheap price.
"Listen, Mineta," I said, propping my chin, voice lazy but weighted like I knew some deep shit. "You know your biggest flaw?"
"What?" He gulped, eyes lighting up.
I smirked. "You reek of thirst. Girls smell desperation in your damn breath, man. And nobody digs a guy chasing tail like a lost puppy."
He gawked like I'd just dropped cosmic truth. I tapped the desk, rolling on. "Don't pounce like a starved wolf - flip it. Valuable people don't chase; they draw others in. Girls don't fall for nice guys - they go for guys with self-worth."
He nodded like a bobblehead, probably not getting it, but good enough if he thought he did.
"Here's the deal," I leaned back, dragging each word for effect. "Be cool - not edgy poser cool. Don't chase girls - let them chase you. Step one?" I paused for drama, then hit him: "Ditch hitting on every girl you see like a goddamn creep."
"What?! Why?!" He nearly fell over.
"It's gross. No one's into crude, sleazy simps. That weirdo perv act just tanks your shot."
His jaw dropped, like his brain rebooted.
"So… what do I have to do?"
I flashed a cryptic grin, patting his shoulder. "Wanna score? Show value first." I nodded toward Mina. "See Ashido? With that genius noggin, drop the perv shit and get her attention. She's a little bad at studying, so take this opportunity to test it out."
Mineta gulped, staring at me - half stunned, half lost, half hyped - then at Mina, laughing with Tsuyu and Kyoka. He turned back, practically begging for some ultimate pickup spell.
I sighed, equal parts amused and pitying his hopeless ass. "You don't fish by jumping in and grabbing with your hands. Don't force it - give her a reason to come to you. Get it?"
"But… how do I get Mina or any other girls to talk to me?" He scratched his head, floundering.
"Finals, dumbass. What's hotter than Todoroki's bad-boy and daddy-issues vibe or Bakugo's edge? Class and smarts, Mineta. Be smooth, gentlemanly - not over-the-top."
Before he could process, I hoisted him up, faking glee. "Thanks, Mineta! You've prepped me big-time for finals!"
I yelled it loud, locking him in place like he'd bestowed some grand favor. Heads turned - Mina included.
"Eh? Minoru-kun helped you, Ryuga?" Mina blinked, curious.
I dropped him, hand on his shoulder, oozing trust. "Yep, Mineta's loaded with useful stuff. He showed me how to think sharper for finals - math, lit, English, you name it." Casual, but loud enough to spread. "Seriously, people sleep on him, but his brain's razor-sharp. Need advice? He's your guy."
Mina raised a brow, surprised. "Huh? For real, Mineta-kun?"
Mineta froze, overwhelmed. Never had anyone hype him to a girl before. I nudged his back, whispering, "Your moment, dipshit. Don't fuck it up - look valuable."
He snapped out of it, coughing, nodding all cool-like. "Uh… yeah, totally! I know tons about study hacks!"
Mina perked up. "Oh? Sweet! Maybe I'll hit you up for tutoring!"
Mineta stiffened, face flushing like he'd been slapped, but he held it together - no over-the-top crap. I smirked, knowing I'd juiced him up plenty.
"See?" I muttered, sly. "Don't chase. Let 'em come."
He nodded like a robot, eyes blazing, barely containing himself. I stood back, hands in pockets, watching this runt taste a girl's attention without his usual perv antics.
Honestly, didn't expect it to flow this smooth. A few dumb lines, some cheap psych tricks, and I'd turned this simp into our free tutor. Life's easier than I thought sometimes.
Can't lie, though - watching Mineta flail like a fish out of water with Mina was hilarious and a little sad. He's a moron with girls, but his theory game's legit. Play it right, and me and Himiko will cruise through finals no sweat.
Hyping Mineta as a "theory god" didn't just hook Mina - Tsuyu, Kyoka, and every girl in class started eyeing him, curious but wary of his perv rep. I seized the chance, clapping Izuku's shoulder with a straight face.
"Hey, Izuku, you and Ochako should team up. Ease Mineta's load - he'll choke tutoring everyone."
Izuku blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"Just study together," I shrugged, all breezy. "Ochako needs a guide too, right? You're as sharp as Mineta on theory, plus you've got internship tricks. Theory, practice - easy win."
Ochako caught it, turning. "Me? Really?"
"Why not?" I grinned faintly. "Mineta's good, but he's not a multi-armed freak. You and Izuku pair up - sharpen both ends and save the runt some grief. Right, Mineta?"
Mineta nodded like his life depended on it, still glued to Mina. "Y-Yeah! I would need a break!"
Izuku scratched his head, shy. "Uh… if Ochako's cool with it, I'm in…"
Ochako beamed. "Sure! It'll be fun - I'll learn tons from you, Deku-kun!"
I watched them, smirking inside. "Easing the load" sounded noble, but it was a shove for their storyline too. No one clocked it, and I'd offloaded Mineta's burden while nudging Izuku and Ochako on track. Two birds, one stone - untouchable.
Mineta's hooked now - just gotta keep him from screwing up his shiny new rep with Mina. For me and Himiko? He's our on-call tutor whenever I snap my fingers. Finals? We've got this in the bag.