I was born with the light of stars.
Praising not me, but the royalty.
The Golden Age.
Marking the heyday of those who had reached the top within only a few years.
I lived staring outside of a window.
On this bed and home.
Sometimes I thought of having fun. To be like other children. Missing and deprived of playful joy.
However I neither felt that nor sadness.
Just… an empty core.
I once thought of the fleeting news heard by my ears.
That of royalty. That of nobility. That of commonalty.
With each day of my only comfort in this uncomfortable living, I seeked the only way to be like those who raised others.
A helper.
The deal struck and forever is my bane.
Me, a thoughtless fool.
My succumbing to pain, blinded by the sole reason I held in my heart.
I took it.
I never should have.
As I watched and walked across the world, I learned many things after I left the dilapidated home I lived entirely in.
The feelings and conflicts.
Desperation and hope.
"Insanity and Sanity."
Untruthful lies and misunderstood values.
We are so fickle.
I was merely an uninformed stagnant pool of water.
An already failed product.
Still I held on.
Pushing forward to see this dream come true.
It was at this time that I hadn't learned the cruelty of humanity.
Only snippets of curses. Yellow faded paper covering my entire face. Barely seeing through what has been told and what can be seen.
Even now as I write I am uncertain if I will live to see it again.
The clawing of all is forever burned into my memory.
The felling of so many people.
It's misery.
A total misery.
I knew it could be stopped then, I know now it still could.
But it is late.
A late day ending soon.
The Devil I have seen throughout this journey is the shell of a human preaching human-like things.
Every mannerism all so life-like. That of an actual human.
That smiling face is a facade.
A masking to the insanity.
If there was an actual human they would never say such things so casually.
Even a murderer would hold certain restraints.
The destruction I live through, the ashes found on my face.
I have no fear.
I have no fear…
Only my emotions. I wish to never feel like that again.
I want to curse out in rage.
I want to cry out in sorrow.
I want to laugh in joy.
I want to…
I wanted to be a helper.
My fate is a disaster itself.
My only destiny, to mislead and destroy others.
When I needed help to live, I never felt anything like this.
Just the same window I always gazed out of.
With the same scenery.
The weather may change, the colour may change, but it was all the same.
The young innocence, where has it gone? I don't know.
The long spanning neutrality, why has it disappeared? I don't know.
This Insanity I have been always hearing. The screams, the howls of laughter. Where did it come from?
My Own Sanity, far too objective for me to feel emotion. Has it strengthened as a result of my own failures?
How many sins has everyone carried that they call Sin?
How many virtues has everyone carried that they call Virtue?
I am dying.
I know that.
I knew that from the very day I was told by my parents.
For all that landscape did, was the perpetual change of everything not changing. Only I would never see it.
I never wanted this.
I never wanted to see all this blood.
I wished to see the dream. The unsung heroic.
Maybe it was achieved.
Maybe it was not.
The Day before I was set to die.
I was visited one last time in that fallen house.
On my death, The Devil was born.