Tomás walked a good part of the city and found some job openings which he applied to immediately. He didn't expect much, but he honestly never expected to hear back from any job he submitted applications for, so when they did call, he felt grateful rather than anxious. It was already three in the afternoon when he decided to step into a café to rest before his shift; perhaps the freshly ground coffee could temporarily banish that horrible feeling of emptiness that always pursued him.
He was waiting for the waitress to bring his coffee when he felt a tap on the window where he was sitting. The initial shock was quite strong, making him jump slightly. It was the hairdresser, waving her hand with a huge smile. Tomás waved back, and in a moment, she was sitting with him, ordering a coffee for herself.
"You waved back, I thought you were going to forget me," she laughed cheerfully as she called the waitress, waving her hand high in the air. "What luck that we ran into each other! You remember my name, right? I hope I'm not making a fool of myself."
Tomás felt a little overwhelmed, but she had appeared just as that overwhelming emptiness began to crawl up the walls of his soul. "Your name is Soledad; how could I forget it in less than a week? Besides, you helped me then."
"Oh, I see a blushing young man in front of me, my heart almost skipped a beat," she laughed naturally again.
When he met her at the hair salon, he already imagined she was a cheerful girl, like a bright sun, a happy sun, a sun that burns everything it touches to ashes, and he would feel it on his own skin sooner or later, because he wasn't one of those who expose themselves to the sun; he was one of those who live in the shadows, always in the darkness.
Soledad ordered a cappuccino and some cookies and continued, "I imagined we might run into each other, at least as long as you didn't go to university, but not this soon, what luck."
"In fact, I'm glad we met," Tomás added. "You arrived at a good time."
"Were you out walking alone?"
Tomás looked outside for a second; the sun shone mercilessly. "I was looking for work and taking a walk before my afternoon shift."
"Didn't even a friend or colleague want to accompany you?"
"Oh, why would I ask them about this? It's my duty to look for work; I'm not going to drag my friends into it. Besides, when I go out, it's because I've been invited. I'm not very good at saying no, so I go, even if I don't like it, I go anyway."
Soledad maintained an uneasy smile and kept her gaze fixed on him. "You can call me if you need company." She gestured for Tomás to give her his phone, which he did with a hesitant hand. "Don't get nervous now, you're embarrassing me, silly," she said, seeing a slight blush on Tomás's face.
At that moment, the waitress arrived with both their orders: a cappuccino and cookies for the young lady, and a large American coffee for the young man, she said with a somewhat playful tone that made Tomás blush again.
"You're going to blush at everything that happens," Soledad said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"I'm sorry," Tomás replied with genuine embarrassment. "It wasn't my intention. It's not like I can control those kinds of things. I'm inexperienced in these types of interactions."
She smiled calmly. "I was joking, I guess you really aren't very good at this."
"I've never been on a date," Tomás replied, looking away as he brought the coffee to his mouth.
"Wow, Americano without sugar. Do you think that makes you seem more adult?"
"I don't know if you're serious or trying to make fun of me, but I don't drink this coffee to seem like an adult, although I am one. I drink it because I like the bitter taste."
"You're worse than I thought."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe your loneliness is incurable," Soledad added, taking a cookie. "Don't be ashamed to look me in the eye. You can consider this a date if that helps you not look bad with your partner, when you have one." She slid the plate of cookies to the center of the table. "Take one if you want."
"That would be like pretending we're dating; I don't like the idea. Can't we just go out as friends?" He took a cookie and ate it in one bite.
"We can, but that wouldn't do you much good, come on..." Soledad put her hand on the table and wiggled her fingers for him to take it. "Take my hand," she wiggled her fingers subtly again. "Come on, take it already," she said, now in a firm tone.
Tomás took Soledad's hand, and with that act, he took a woman's hand with a "partner" purpose for the first time, and looked up to meet Soledad's satisfied smile. "It's strange, I don't know what you're trying to do, but it feels good, thank you."
"For goodness sake, don't thank me," she finished adding her number to his cell phone with her free hand and gave it back to Tomás. "As you said, this isn't your strong suit. Women like confident men. Don't show your weakness."
"That's nonsense, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I don't pretend to be perfect, unless I want a girlfriend who gets sick of me in a couple of months or when she truly gets to know me. What starts with a lie always ends badly," Tomás stated in his usual tone, which undoubtedly surprised Soledad.
She squeezed Tomás's hand so he wouldn't pull it away. "Everyone lies, especially if they want to please. Do you think you're going to go around dropping your phrases on girls to win them over? If you want to stay single forever, then continue on your tortuous solitary path, but if you want to win one over, you'll have to pretend to be someone more pleasant, and when you get home or are alone, you can vent by talking like a bitter person to your pillow."
"That was harsh," Tomás replied to Soledad's counterattack. "I don't want a girlfriend I have to pretend with all the time; it makes no sense."
"Perhaps you won't like what I'm about to say, but you are nothing more than an idealist. If we could all go through life telling the truth, this world would be horrible. Besides, a lie that makes you happy is preferable to a truth that makes you cry, that hurts you," Soledad added, looking fixedly into Tomás's eyes, while he sipped his coffee silently. "I like you," she said sweetly, and instantly Tomás's face flushed and his hand trembled, trying to escape, but she gently held it. "Now answer me, did I make you happy for at least one second?"
Tomás tried to regain his composure by taking a long sip of his coffee. The liquid passed through his mouth and throat, leaving a burning sensation strong enough to draw a furtive tear that peeked out and then retreated. He had to admit it, he had felt something new. His chest had filled with incessant thumping and a strange tingling he had never experienced before.
"Yes, that was good, even if it's a lie, and knowing it feels very bad too. It's like they give you hope for a second and then snatch it away," he tried to compose himself, but some tears welled up in his eyes and he had to drink coffee again to control himself. "I guess you've rejected more than one man. What if I tell you I like you and then you reject me? I'd like to see if it's possible to feel the same."
Soledad ate another of her cookies and then took a long sip of coffee, and her eyebrows arched in a sad gesture. "If that's what you want," she looked down slightly, as if she didn't like the idea.
Tomás needed to gather some courage, but after she lied to his face, everything was easier. "Soledad, I like you a lot. Would you go out with me?" He waited for her answer with his hand on the cup, ready to hide his embarrassment at the right moment.
Soledad squeezed Tomás's hand tightly. "Sorry, I can't go out with you," she looked away towards the outside. "I like someone else."
Tomás, indeed, felt a pang, not as strong as what Amelia made him feel, but even if it was all a lie, it still hurt. "It's impressive, it hurt me anyway, even if it's a lie, even if everything is a lie. Perhaps that time it hurt more because she was much harsher." He drank the last sip of coffee, leaving a bottom full of tiny ground beans. "I clearly remember what she said, 'What, I wouldn't go out with you dead, how disgusting!', but don't worry, I won't ask you to say it like that." He sighed and released Soledad's hand, who was staring at him very seriously. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, but this is what it feels like between truth and lies. I'm not going to lie to go out with someone, even if the result is staying alone. Do you understand now?"
She slowly withdrew her hand. "I feel strange," she said in a broken voice, and her eyes suddenly felt hot, and tears began to fall. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you," she said through sobs. "I wanted to help, I... I'm really sorry."
Tomás stretched out his hand just as she had stretched hers out before, and wiggled his fingers, imitating her; she responded by taking his hand tightly. "Forgive me, I guess I'm too hurt for these kinds of games. Don't cry for me, I'm not worth it."
Soledad wiped her tears and caressed Tomás's hand with her thumb. "In a way, I feel bad for those I've rejected before," she said, her voice still broken. She ate a couple of cookies with small bites, as if she were a squirrel, and washed them down with a long sip of coffee. "This is pretty tough."
"You shouldn't feel that way. As we talked about the other day, this is a gamble on an uncertain point; you bet, and in gambling, the house always wins." He released Soledad's hand and stood up. "I'm going to pay. Shall we go?" She nodded, and when he looked at her, her eyes were still glassy.
"Hey, we're friends, friends share the bill."
Tomás smiled at her. "Next time, you pay."
Somehow, when they left the place, they held hands again. Tomás thought she wanted to apologize that way or something like that, but he didn't dare to ask, so as not to break the charm of the moment.
"Are you taking the bus home? I'll walk you to the stop."
Soledad nodded. "Thanks," she said shyly.
Her calm laugh had vanished, as if Tomás's sadness had sucked it away, as if he were an abyss she couldn't fill, but she didn't give up, and when they reached the stop and the bus approached, she told him, squeezing the boy's hand tightly.
"Will you walk me home? I don't want to go alone."
Tomás gave her an understanding smile. "Of course, I still have time," he replied immediately.
They both got on the bus and sat in the back seats; luckily, it was almost empty, so they could choose as they pleased.
"You can really be very kind if you set your mind to it," Soledad said, smiling calmly again. Her joy, her sunny smile began to flash again, chasing away the shadows her companion had left.
"I think I am quite often, even if it doesn't show."
Soledad gave him another kind smile that Tomás would keep in his heart until his last days, he would keep it as a memory of what one does not want to lose, nor waste, of what one wishes would be eternal.
"Yes, you really are very kind. I'm sure that if I asked you, you would do everything in your power to help me. Would you?"
"What do you think?"
"That you would, even though we've only seen each other twice, you still would."
When they got off the bus, it was near the hair salon, and only then did Tomás realize that she lived on the second floor of the building, with her mother.
"This is fine here," Soledad said without letting go of Tomás's hand. Unbeknownst to them, they had left the place holding hands and arrived there the same way. "Despite everything, I think I enjoyed it. Are you ever going to call me?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Yes, I want you to, but not because I ask you to, but because you want to," she replied, finally letting go of his hand.
Tomás hesitated for a second. "I will, I promise. Thank you for everything."
Soledad opened the door of the house and was about to enter when Tomás stopped her with a question.
"I want to see you smile again. Your smile is beautiful and it makes me feel better when I see it."
She turned and smiled at him as she had when she arrived; it was bright like the sun, so bright that Tomás felt his heart swell.
"See you."
"See you, rest," he said before the door closed completely.