The next morning Inak woke up, grabbed a cup of coffee, and started getting ready to go to work. Most people wouldn't go to work after burying their mother. The funeral was yesterday. The grave was still fresh. But here he was, putting on his coat, lacing his shoes, preparing for a normal workday like nothing happened.
The streets were normal. The same broken sidewalk in front of the building. The same guard in the same position, half-asleep, pretending to be useful. Nothing felt different.
He walked into the department slowly, cane tapping with every step.
Tuk... Tuk... Tuk...
Every tap of his cane echoed through the corridors. His colleagues looked at him as he walked in. Some nodded, others avoided eye contact, as if grief was contagious.
He sat down in his office, barely functioning. The thoughts still circled in his mind. He couldn't even control them. They just roamed.
Then—
Knock Knock.
"Come in," he said, his voice flat.
It was his partner, Doctor Melody Christiadi.
Dressed in a lab coat, her short blond hair stopping just at her jaw.
Her face had a softness to it—round, bright, almost childlike.
With a soft and friendly voice, she called his name. "Hello, Freddie…"
She always called him that. People usually addressed him as 'Doctor,' or 'Doctor Inak,' or any other formal title. Not her. She was very close to him.
"…How are you holding up?" she added.
"Fine," he replied.
"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral," she added, her voice quieter now. "You know I—"
"You're fine, Melody. Don't overthink it," he cut her off, eyes still down on the desk.
She paused, watching him. His pale face. The bags under his eyes looked like bruises. "I really hope you're well, Freddie. I really do…" she said with a voice soft, almost motherly.
"I appreciate the concern, Melody."
He finally looked up. "Is there a reason you wanted to see me?"
She shook her head lightly. "Not really. I just wanted to check in. You've been… off lately."
She stood there with a file tucked under her arm. Inak noticed it. "What's that?" he asked, pointing toward it.
"Oh, this?" She glanced down. "Just something from the department. About the seminar. Dr. Lence won't be attending… said it's a last-minute emergency."
She hesitated. "But you see, they don't want to cancel it. It's done every year. We must represent the department, and with Lence gone… they need a replacement. And no one seems to be stepping up."
Inak leaned back slightly. "A replacement… I see."
Then, after a pause, "What if I do it?"
Melody blinked, caught off guard as Inak reached for the file.
"I'll do it," he said simply. "Trust me. I can handle it."
She handed it to him, still a bit unsure.
"Are you sure? …With everything going on?"
"I'm sure," he replied, without even a pause.
He took it. Scanned it.
Title:
'Parasitology.'
Then he stopped. Thought. Not about the topic. Not about the seminar.
But about Lence.
He'd always thought himself smarter than Lence.
Way more intelligent. Way more driven.
The man knew how to play the politics… and that's all that ever mattered in this place.
Inak had precision, knowledge, and obsession.
He deserved that position. Not because he wanted power… but because he earned it.
Two PhDs.
One in Oncology. One in Neurology.
At 29.
And yet the board always said the same thing:
You're still young, Inak… We need someone with experience.
'Experience.'
He could spit on the word.
He doubted half the board could even define it without choking on their own mediocrity.
"In three days, huh? …Seems… doable…"
"Though I am no expert in the field, but 'Parasitology'… seems interesting enough…"
He accepted the file.
This was a challenge.
And a message.
He could do Lence's job.
And better.
"Email me the rest of the details and inform the department of my acceptance to their terms," he said.
She smiled. "You sure?"
"I'm sure."
She turned to leave.
And then, almost out of nowhere, he said,
"Thank you, Melody."
She smiled again and closed the door behind her.
---
And Inak got to work.
He had three days.
Not a second to waste.
He pulled every paper, every journal, every book the lab had. Parasitology wasn't his field, but research was second nature to him. Parasites, larvae, fungus, insects, viruses. Anything that lived off something else. Notes, sketches, hypotheses. His office floor slowly disappeared beneath a growing sea of paper.
By the time he checked the clock, it was almost 7:00.
Evening already.
He had been at it for ten hours.
He packed up slowly. He wasn't done. Not even close.
He looked down at the books on his desk, he had to take one. Just one. Something to read at night. He flipped the page of one beside him.
And there it was. A word. A name. 'Sacculina.'
He paused. Something about it.
He didn't know why, but it pulled at him. He shut the book and tucked it under his arm.
That was the one.
On his way out, he noticed Melody still in the hallway. Most of the building had emptied out by now.
"You're still here?" he asked.
She smiled. "I've been done for an hour… I was waiting for you, actually. I was wondering if… we could grab dinner later. Catch up. We haven't talked in a while."
It was unusual of him, but he agreed.
Inak never went out. It was always work, then home. Over and over.
But this time?
"Sure," he said.
---
They drove to some local burger place.
Melody's pick. He couldn't name a single restaurant in this city if his life depended on it.
They sat down, ordered. And they talked.
Well… she was the one who usually did the talking.
Inak mostly listened. And perhaps that was the real reason she liked being around him. She always thought he was a good listener.
It started off casually. Melody talking about the weather, the weird lettuce on her burger, complaining about work.
But then it slowly shifted.
She opened up.
"… I've just been feeling weird lately. Off.
Empty, maybe? I don't know what to call it exactly.
It's like… something's missing.
Not anything specific, just this constant feeling that something should be there and isn't.
Even the stuff I used to like… music, movies, people… none of it feels the same anymore…"
"I don't know," she said, trying to laugh it off. "It's like… I'm always missing someone. But there's no one to miss. I just feel like there's this… space in me. And I don't know what's supposed to fill it."
She didn't cry.
But the pain was all over her face, plain and quiet.
Inak didn't say anything.
But in his head, it made sense.
It was just biology. That feeling of emptiness wasn't something deep or mysterious. Her body had reached the point where it wanted to reproduce. The 'someone' she thought was missing wasn't a real person. It was just a signal. A natural response, showing up as emotion. Inak thought.
Empathy. Sympathy. Whatever it was people felt in moments like this, he didn't have it.
He could recognize it. He could even mimic it if he needed to.
But feel it? No.
Not really.
Still, he spoke.
"…I've been thinking about death lately," he said, eyes still down on his half-eaten burger. "Since my mother died."
Melody looked up.
"I mean… I always knew it was coming. We all do. But I never really thought about it. I took it for granted. Dying… I never cared before, but now…"
"It terrifies me," he said, barely above a whisper.
It was the most honest thing he'd said in years.
She was quiet.
Then she looked at him and asked something unexpected:
"If you could live forever… how would you spend it? Would it be any more meaningful?"
He stared at her.
That question. It hit him. He couldn't find an answer.
He blinked, then looked away. "How would you?" he asked.
Melody smiled. A little awkwardly and shrugged.
"I think… I'd want to spend it with someone I love. That's all. I think if I had love… it would feel worth it."
She chuckled, like she was half-apologizing for the simplicity of her answer.
But Inak didn't laugh. He hated that answer.
Because it was dull.
Love? Cooperation? Companionship?
He stared at the table.
To him, those things were just tools. Biological contracts.
Love is cooperation. A strategy for survival. Why would you need a tool for survival if you were eternal?
Even every fear he'd ever studied, every panic, phobia, anxiety… all of it, stripped down to the bone, was just about survival.
That's all it was.
Fear of spiders, failure, the dark… are all just different interpretations of the same thing… they are all simply survival instincts.
Even disgust, fear of filth, contamination, and germs are just fear of disease.
In the end, it's not about the thing itself. It's about what it could lead to. And that's always death.
Job loss, wanting love, cars, success, social status, happiness... none of it is random. They're just strategies. Adaptations. Ways to stay safe. To stay needed.
To stay alive.
Fear of public speaking? Social species like us rely on group belonging. Being judged, rejected, laughed at… that threatens our place in the group. And without the group? We're exposed, vulnerable, and less likely to survive.
Even irrational fears… get hurt enough times when a certain thing happens, and the brain labels it as dangerous. A song playing during a trauma? The brain immediately associates it with danger, and every time that song plays, the person feels uneasy.
It always came back to death.
Even love.
A mother's protective instinct? It's fear. Fear of losing her genetic legacy. She cares for the child because the child carries her code. And the brain will do anything to keep that code alive.
But then… why do some parents abandon their kids? Why do some people value their own well-being than their children? Society calls them monsters. But maybe they're just obeying a different survival instinct. A selfish one. Still biology. Still survival. Just different tactics.
Inak glanced up at Melody.
She was still smiling softly. Still sipping her milkshake…
He wanted to tell her everything. The way he saw things.
The weight in his chest. But he didn't.
Instead, he just said,
"Living forever wouldn't make it more meaningful I guess…"
Melody nodded slowly. "Maybe not. But it'd give us more time to figure it out."
He had no idea what that even meant, and honestly, he didn't care. It sounded like another lie people used to feel better.
"Thank you, Freddie," she said quietly. "I loved this. Thanks for doing this with me." She didn't say it, but seeing Inak like that, honest, and a little vulnerable meant more to her than she expected. Just for a moment, he wasn't hiding. She felt happy.
He didn't say anything back. Just a smile…
They drove through the city... lights flashing past, reflections dancing on the windows.It was silent.But the good kind of silence.
---
Inak dropped her off, then kept driving.
When he finally reached his apartment, he didn't bother turning on the lights. Just made his way to the bedroom, set the book on the nightstand, leaned his cane against the edge of the bed… and slept almost immediately.