Charles could no longer sit still. Every second that passes feels more and more suffocating. The silence between them added to the weight of the burden he was trying to bear. After that night, after the message sent without a reply, his heart felt even more empty. Nothing can comfort her, nothing can replace the deepening sense of loss.
That morning, he decided to go to Samosir. Without telling Erin first. Without a definite plan. Just a conviction that he cannot continue to live in uncertainty.
He drove his car quickly, hoping that this trip would bring answers. Every kilometer he traveled seemed to slow down time, as if the road was full of growing doubts. However, he was already determined. If he had to seek clarity, he would do it. He doesn't care how difficult or bitter the outcome will be.
Arriving at Erin's campus, Charles headed straight to a place they frequented—a small park in the middle of campus, the place where Erin first read poetry to him. However, the place was empty. There was no Erin there. He goes around, asking some of Erin's friends he knows, but their answers only make him even more confused. Erin is not on campus.
Later, one of Erin's friends told her that Erin was at a café, where they often went to talk. Charles' heart was pounding faster. With a hurry, he headed for the café, hoping he still had time to find Erin before it was too late.
Upon arriving at the café, Charles stopped at the door, hesitating. He didn't know what to say if Erin was really there. He knows only one thing: he cannot go on with his life without clarity.
With a little courage, he entered. Her eyes searched for her, until she finally saw him—Erin, sitting in the corner of the café, laughing with a man she didn't recognize. Their hands touch each other. Erin looked happy, happier than the last time they were together.
At that moment, Charles felt that something was broken inside him. He wanted to leave, but his steps were stopped. Erin turned her head towards the door, and her eyes met his. There was a surprise on his face, something that was difficult to express. However, Erin only smiled faintly, then returned to focus on the man in front of her.
Charles stood there, speechless, only feeling a feeling of destruction that was growing. He knew that there was no place for him in Erin's world anymore.
And for the first time, Charles feels that he is no longer part of the story.
Charles stood silently at the door of the café, his eyes still fixed on Erin who was laughing with a man he didn't know. His whole body felt stiff, like something was holding back his steps. On the one hand, he wanted to run out of the café, escape from the reality that was beginning to collapse the world he knew. However, on the other hand, there is curiosity that is increasingly gnawing away. He wanted to get closer, to talk, to find out what really happened.
But Erin only gave a small smile, as if there was nothing to explain. Her face, which used to always be so bright when talking to her, now looks calmer, more mature, and for some reason
Charles felt as if he wasn't there. Only an observer tried to recognize something that used to be his. Slowly, he stepped back and turned around, leaving the café with a step that felt heavy. It was like dragging him into an unfilled void.
Outside the café, the air felt so cold, even though the sun was still shining on the sky that was starting to dim. He walked directionlessly, looking at the world that seemed to continue to spin without caring about the feelings he was experiencing. Every voice he heard, every step he took, reminded him more and more of the emptiness that now enveloped him.
In the car, Charles sat silently. There was nothing he could think of but Erin and the man. He remembered how they used to share stories with each other, how they often walked together under the twilight sky, talking about dreams and plans for the future. But now, all of that feels like memories that have evaporated for a long time.
He knows that he can't continue like this. Waiting without clarity, feeling lost without being able to do anything. But on the other hand, he finds it very difficult to accept the fact that Erin—the person who was once so close to him—has moved on, leaving him.
Arriving at the hotel, Charles sat at the dining table, staring at his blank phone screen. There was no message from Erin. No news came. Only the silence is getting more haunting.
He felt frustrated, but more than that, he felt confused. What should he do now? Does he have to give up? Turning around and forgetting everything they've been through? Or stick around, hoping that one day Erin will come back and explain everything?
After a few moments that felt like hours, Charles finally made up his mind. He cannot continue to be trapped in uncertainty. He has to talk to Erin, even if it means facing a painful reality.
With renewed determination, he sent a final message.
"Erin, I need clarity. We can't continue like this. I don't know what's going on, but I'm curious. Whatever it is, I want to hear it directly from you."
The message was sent, and Charles waited. Time passed slowly, second by second felt so long. But there was no reply. Not a single word.
He put his phone on the table, then squeezed his face with his hands. Why does everything have to end like this? Why does he feel trapped in a story he never really understands?
Morning comes, but it does not bring relief. Charles woke up with the same feeling—emptiness. He realized that he had been trapped in feelings that he could not change, and at the same time, he knew that the only way was to move forward, even if without direction.
He came out of his apartment, walking down the stairs with lighter steps. Not because he felt okay, but because he knew that one day, he had to be able to let go of Erin. Because love doesn't always mean having. Sometimes, love is letting go, even if it's very painful.