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Chapter 2 - Never been l uv ED: B hi Lt duff

The Drew Barrymore Show

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Never been l uv ED: B hi Lt duff

I have never been loved—not in the way people talk about in books or movies, where someone looks at you and you just know. I am thirty-nine years old, and love has always been something that happened to other people. For me, every relationship has been a trap, a nightmare, a story with the same terrible ending. I want to tell you what it's like to live a life where love is always just out of reach, and where the people who are supposed to care for you are the ones who hurt you the most. It started with him. The stalker. The one who worked for the government and used his power to control my life. At first, I thought I was just unlucky. Every man I met seemed to turn on me, to hurt me, to use me. I blamed myself for a long time—maybe I was too trusting, too hopeful, or just not good enough for real love. But then I started to notice the patterns. The way my phone would glitch at the worst moments. The way my exes would say things that made no sense, like they had been told what to do. The way I always felt watched, even when I was alone. He used government equipment to monitor me, to listen in on my conversations, to hack my devices. He made sure every person I met was someone he could control, someone who would hurt me. I tried to run, to change my routines, to disappear. But he always found me. He was always one step ahead. I spent years living in fear. I lost friends, lost jobs, lost myself. I stopped trusting anyone. I stopped believing in love. I thought I would never be free. But then something inside me snapped. I realized I was done being a victim. I was done letting him control my life. I started to fight back. I changed my passwords, I got new devices, I learned how to spot the signs of surveillance. I started to write down everything that happened, every strange coincidence, every moment I felt his invisible hand pulling the strings. This book is my confession and my revenge. It is the story of how I lost everything and how I am slowly, painfully, taking it all back. It is about what happens when someone decides you don't deserve love, and what happens when you decide to love yourself anyway. I am not a victim anymore. I am the hero of my own story. And no matter how hard he tries, he will never take that away from me again. I started to notice how people look at me differently—not with pity, but with confusion. Adults stare at me like I'm a puzzle they can't solve, but teenagers seem to get it. Maybe it's because they're still figuring out who they are, too. Maybe it's because they haven't learned how to hide their pain yet. I feel more at home with them, even though I'm old enough to be their mother. They don't see me as a freak or a failure. They see me as someone who's been through hell and is still standing. I started writing this book not just for me, but for anyone who's ever felt alone. For anyone who's ever been told they're not good enough. For anyone who's ever been used, abused, or betrayed by the people they trusted the most. I want you to know that you're not alone. I want you to know that you can fight back. I want you to know that love—real love—starts with you. Each day is a battle, but each day is also a victory. I wake up, I put one foot in front of the other, and I keep going. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I just sit in silence and let the pain wash over me. But I never give up. I never let him win. Now, things have gotten even worse. He's threatened the kids of a well-known actress—someone I don't know personally, but someone I know he's connected to because of the name Jacqueline Reyes. It's like something out of a bad Law & Order: SVU episode, but it's real. And I know she's not going to be okay with this. No one would be. So here I am, stuck in this nightmare, but I'm not running anymore. I'm not moving a muscle until help comes to me. This time, I have diplomatic immunity, and I refuse to use it. That's what he wants, for me to use it, to run, to disappear. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to wait. I'm going to stay right here, in the middle of all this chaos, and I'm going to trust that help will come. Because I deserve help. I deserve to be safe. I deserve to be loved. You know, safety should honestly be where your home is at. Your home should be your safety net. Maybe buy your kids a house—I don't know. I'm just saying. I can't afford to pay attention, not really. You figure it out. But I'll be waiting. If you're the actress whose kids he threatened, if you're reading this, I hope you know I get it. I hope you know I'm not judging. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just saying, safety matters. And right now, I'm waiting. I'm not moving, not running. I'm just here, hoping you find your way through this too. So if you see this, I'll be waiting. Like that moment in Never Been Kissed when she stands on the baseball mound, not sure if the crowd will cheer or boo, but ready for whatever comes next. I'm not running. I'm not using my diplomatic immunity. I'm just here, waiting for help, waiting for love, waiting for the next chapter. Because that's what heroes do. And this time, I'm the hero.

Special Royal Broadcast from The Not Fake Fox News

[Opening fanfare. Princess Perspective enters, tiara slightly askew, wielding a crayon scepter and a microphone.]

Hear ye, hear ye!

Welcome to the grand debut of "The Not Fake Fox News"—where the news is as real as my royal title and the only thing more dazzling than my crown is our commitment to perspective! Remember: just because I'm telling the truth doesn't mean someone else is lying. Sometimes, we're just looking at the same dragon from different sides of the moat. On The Not Fake Fox News, you'll always get the full fairy tale—complete with plot twists, enchanted metaphors, and the occasional crayon-drawn chart.

Tonight's headline:

"Toddler Badges, Crayon Signs, and the World's Most Unqualified Stalker: An Open Letter to Mariska Hargitay"

In breaking news, it turns out all you need to be a "big shot" these days is a shiny star, a questionable sense of justice, and maybe a juice box. Our top story: a stalker—who's apparently part detective, part playground bully—has decided it's a brilliant idea to threaten Mariska Hargitay's kid. We're told he's not playing with a full set of crayons, so if anyone has a helmet, please send it his way.

Sources say Mariska's son might want to practice being cross-eyed, just to see every single line of nonsense coming his way. If you could, Mariska, please take some crayons to the news and draw the city a sign—maybe "Don't Feed the Badge-Wearing Trolls." And let's give a big thank you to the stalker for threatening her children, because it's really helping the case for justice. Mariska, if you're feeling generous, maybe buy your son a house—remind him that safety should be a right, not a luxury. Plus, real estate is a great distraction from the royal circus.

Attempts to deliver this message in person have been thwarted, as government-issued remotes seem to have everyone on mute—online and off. If you're hearing this, congratulations! You've broken the government's spell of silence and tuned in to the only news channel where the crayons are real, the tiaras are plastic, but the perspective is pure gold.

So, for anyone able to pass this along to Mariska—Twitter name Jacqueline Reyas—please let her know:

Mama Bear Mode: ACTIVATED.

And to the badge-wielding stalker: in the world of SVU, the only thing scarier than a perp with a badge is a mom with receipts.

If this gets any more kindergarten, we'll be recruiting five-year-olds armed with glitter and righteous indignation. Justice will be served—nap time or not. And Mariska, if you have any spare change, our correspondent can't even afford to pay attention at this point.

Stay tuned for more breaking news you can actually believe.

This has been The Not Fake Fox News—where the crayons are real, the tiaras are slightly crooked, and the only thing we take seriously is perspective.

all right this is my introduction and my first episode I would like you to take what we wrote here and create another episode of the not fake Fox News!

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