You wanna know the truth? Dying sucked. Like, really sucked. And I'm not just talking about the usual, lights out, goodbye world kind of death. No, my death was a whole different level of absurd.
I didn't have a quick death or what you'd call a natural death, though as Simone de Beauvoir once said, there is no such thing as a natural death. Nothing that happens to man is ever natural, since their presence calls the world into question. All men must die, but for every person, their death is an accident and, even if they know it and consent to it, an unjustifiable violation of the greatest order has just occurred.
Turns out my death wasn't an accident but it was most certainly a violation, I had been killed by a truck god just ramming constantly into me, yes I know how that sounds. Basically I was in this little bet of theirs where some trucks had a chosen champion.
In case you were slow, I was one such chosen one.
The one silver lining, if you can call it that, was that I didn't really leave much behind in my original world. No parents. No true friends. Nothing which would truly make me miss my past life.
Besides I'd always lived with this weird emotional dampener, like someone had turned down the volume on my feelings to about 2 out of 10. Never too happy, never too sad, just kind of... there.
The first and only time I experienced pure, unfiltered emotion was during my truck-deity-induced demise. It was rage, by the way. Pure, incandescent rage at the absurdity of being killed as part of some divine trucking competition.
But I'm getting sidetracked here, something that seems to be happening more and more lately. Maybe it's a side effect of reincarnation, or maybe it's just my brain trying to process the sheer ridiculousness of my situation. The point is, since I died on my first truck assassination attempt (apparently some champions lasted through multiple attempts, which is both impressive and horrifying), I only got one cheat skill for my next life.
The good news was that the other chosen ones would be scattered across different worlds, so at least I wouldn't have to worry about other reincarnated truck-dodgers coming after me. And speaking of that cheat skill – it was a good one. Actually, scratch that, it was a really good one.
I got the unique skill Great Sage, yeah that busted skill Rimuru had before it evolved, with some tweaks according to what the Truck God had said.
[Thank you for the compliments, Master.]
"No worries, Great Sage. Just stating facts here."
Now, as for where I ended up after my truck-induced departure from my original world, that was actually pretty interesting. I'd been transmigrated into the Danmachi verse, specifically dropped right into the middle of Orario, the City of Adventurers.
If you're not familiar with it, imagine a fantasy city built around a massive dungeon, filled with gods, monsters, and people with supernatural abilities. It's like someone took an RPG and made it real, complete with level-ups and everything.
"Why is that guy talking to himself?"
"Don't look honey. Just keep walking."
I turned toward the voices, a mother hurriedly pulling her child along. Right, I probably should work on the whole talking-to-Great-Sage-in-public thing. Mental communication was going to take some getting used to.
Finding a relatively clean spot, I sat down in the middle of the street to think things through. The cobblestones were uncomfortable, but I had bigger issues to worry about.
"So Great Sage, what's your take on the best familia to join?"
[Based on your past life's memories and knowledge of the Danmachi world, I believe the optimal course of action would be joining the Loki familia. They possess significant resources, advanced training facilities, and a robust support structure for new members.]
The Loki familia. I didn't know much about them after all I had only seen season 1 of the anime, so the only thing that I knew was that they were one of the strongest familia in Orario but they had the downside of getting involved into Bell's shit and that was season 1, so who knows how much more involved they would get after that.
A thought struck me, did I even need to join a familia? With Great Sage at my disposal, I could probably figure out a way to level up without the gods' Falna, their divine blessing that granted adventurers their abilities. But then again, that would mean doing everything the hard way, and possibly painting a target on my back for being an oddity. What a drag.
"You know what? Screw it. We're going with the Ganesha familia," I announced to no one in particular. "They're the biggest familia in the city, probably one of the strongest, and they seem to stay out of the main plot most of the time. No need to make things more complicated than they need to be."
"Great Sage, have you managed to create a map of Orario from my memories?"
[Indeed I have, Master. Would you like me to display it?]
"Yes, please. Show me the way to the Ganesha familia."
A holographic map materialized in my mind's eye, looking like a fantasy version of Google Maps. I appeared as a little red dot, and a glowing path marked the route to the familia house in the southeastern district. Brushing off my worn trousers and plain shirt, I set off through the bustling streets.
Orario, as it turned out, was massive. The anime really didn't do justice to the sheer scale of the place. The streets twisted and turned like a maze, filled with people from every race you could imagine, humans, elves, dwarves, animal people, and more.
The buildings ranged from big ass mansions to the smallest wooden shops you could think of, to just selling stuff in the street, and the air was thick with the scents of street food, forge smoke, basically a one to one of any rpg world dealing with fantasy.
By the time I finally reached the Ganesha familia household, I was seriously reconsidering my choice. The building, if you could call it that, was essentially a gigantic statue of Ganesha himself, elephantine features and all.
But the real kicker? The main entrance was located right in the statue's crotch area. I stood there for a good minute. Thinking, pondering. Who the heck would have this childish sense of humor.
People were constantly streaming in and out through the crotch-door, acting like this was completely normal. Maybe it was, in this world. With a deep sigh and my dignity only slightly bruised, I joined the flow of traffic heading inside.
If I thought the exterior was bad, the interior was like a fever dream designed by someone with an elephant fixation. Statues of Ganesha covered every available surface, walls, ceilings, corners, you name it. Each one struck a different pose, and all of them seemed to be staring directly at you, no matter where you stood. It was impressive in a deeply unsettling way.
Making my way to a counter where a man wearing nothing but a loincloth was attending (because apparently, that was just how things worked here), I spotted a small bell. Reaching up, I gave it a ring. Instead of the expected ding, the bell shouted, "I AM GANESHA!"
The loincloth-wearing attendant, who had been staring at the ceiling (probably admiring one of the countless Ganesha statues), looked around in confusion. "Who's there?"
"Down here," I called out, trying not to sound as irritated as I felt.
The man bent down, his expression shifting from confusion to mild surprise as he spotted me. "What are you doing here, kid?"
Right. That was another fun little detail Great Sage had informed me about, in this new life, I was stuck in the body of an eight-year-old. Can't wait to go through puberty again.
Squaring my tiny shoulders and trying to look as serious as an eight-year-old could, I declared, "I want to join the familia."
The man's eyebrows shot up so high they nearly disappeared into his hairline. Well, this should be interesting.
"I'm sorry I think I heard you wrong kid," the man said as he scratched the inside of his ear. "I thought you said you wanted to join the familia."
"I do, now could I please meet god Ganesha."
A/N: I have eight stacked chapters that will be coming out once every hour, so enjoy this fic lol.