Today was such a mess, after storming out of father and mother's presence last night, Clark's unexpected visit, father and theo getting passed out drunk, I still have no idea what mother and father think of me now that they know the truth. I was slightly scared that the happiness I had built with them was about to come crashing down. I asked theo about it but he just smiled and told me everything was resolved.
Theo was helping me dry my hair after my bath, it had been a common ritual for some time now. He was so good at it I had no complaint, actually I liked how much attention he paid to me while he did. Using a towel takes too long, maybe I should have carion develop a hair dryer, that would be fun.
"My dear?"
"Sorry my love, i was just wondering how the winter festival was like?" I don't want to remind him of our argument last night.
"Its really fun, the first 2 days are spent touring the different stores and kiosk. Lots of merchant come in for the festival so we get to see goods from other parts of the empire and continent. On the 3rd day there is a masquerade party at the market square all night long. People stay awake till midnight to wish their loved ones a happy new year" he had a bittersweet smile as he spoke fondly of the festival.
"You must have had allot of fun going to the festival" he looked up at me in the mirror.
"When I was younger I always attended with mother and father. Then when I got old enough I would sneak off to go meet up with lord Jordan and miss ivy.....we would hold hands as we waited for midnight. We wanted to wish each other first before any other person... it's been 8 years since I last attended the festival.... I guess i got older and no longer wanted to attend with them" he was smiling as he spoke but I could tell that he wasn't truly happy, i know why he stopped going 8 years ago but there is nothing I can do about the past.
"Its fine my love, we can just create our own tradition starting this winter festival. At midnight on the last day, I want to be the only one to wish you a happy new year." I could see him smiling as he continued to towel my hair.
"I wonder why Clark left before saying a word to me, It's been a while since I saw him.... why did he just leave? What did you three talk about" he averted his eyes turning around and heading for the bed not saying anything.
"My love" he crawled into bed as I trailed behind him laying beside him.
"Its a secret big brother trusted me with" I looked at him absolutely shocked
"When did you get so close? Big brother?"
He strokes my back pulling me into his arms
"Its okay my dear, he can be big brother to both of us, if you miss him we can invite him and sister in law to runan after the festival."
"I never said I missed him....but i wouldn't mind inviting them to the runan" I hid my face as I was suddenly getting embarrassed about showing off my home to Clark and Arabella. Maybe i missed them, but just a little bit.
"Greetings Mother and father" I walked into their room not knowing what to expect. We always have breakfast together but we skipped it yesterday so I haven't had time to apologize for my rudeness from the previous day.
"Clarisa dear come in" mother beamed as father gestured for my usual chair.
"Breakfast will be served soon." It seems I'm the only one who feels awkward as they both treated me the same way.
"Mother, father I'm sorry about how I acted..."
"My dear it's fine, couples fight all the time. Isn't that right honey" Mother nodded in agreement.
I feel so bad, why did I expect them to be angry at me, I keep disappointing myself each time.
"Clarisa we already knew everything, so you don't have to feel sad thinking you deceived us"
"Thats right dear, isabella sent the proposal despite knowing the truth. We are sorry we didn't tell you the truth earlier"
"No mother, father it wasn't a secret...." i was at a loss for words, it felt like I would start crying if I began to speak. I guess I'm not yet over everything that happened, I'm not okay....it hurts to remember.....it hurts to think about that bastard.....
"My dear" father's reached over holding my hand. I'm not okay but I will be....I know I'll be perfectly fine someday. I gave them both my brightest smile because I have a father and mother who love me without conditions.... I'll be perfectly fine.
The winter festival started 3 days after we returned back to runan from the expedition.
The duchy was filled with people which meant theo was extra busy with work, which should have made seeing him at lunch time very hard. But he made sure to clear his schedule for lunch and dinner, it made my heart flutter seeing how much attention he puts into making me feel special.
It made me feel like I was lacking, as I had done nothing to make him feel special or loved. My presence in his life have had absolutely no effect, yet here I was basking in the light of his love.
I'm sure they will come a time when he gets tired of this relationship where he is the only one giving and giving without getting anything in return.
"Stefan, I would like to go to town, please make preparations and please keep this a secret from his grace"
"Yes your grace"
"My dear are you ready" theo stood by the door, as the maids walked out of the bedroom. He was dressed in common clothing and a hooded cloak. Clarisa was also wearing a matching outfit with a cloak too, they had decided it would be best to go to the festival in disguise so as not to draw too much attention.
"Stella....stella" she jolts backwards as Maria smacked her for spacing out.
"You are so young what's making you lose focus"
"I'm sorry madame maria" some of the other maids giggled as they had already heard of stella and sir Henry.
"Stella must have allot on her mind madame maria" they teased and laughed, as she chased them around.
Although the knights were back from the expedition, she was till yet to meet him. He had tried to meet her a few times but she got so embarrassed she was avoiding him.
She placed her back against a wall, closing her eyeswondering why she was suddenly being so shy.
Sir Henry saw her from a far breaking away from the other knights as he approached her, he placed both hands against the wall trapping her in, she opened her eyes shocked as she couldn't run away.
"I know it's not chivalrous but I fear if I don't do this, you would just run away again" her heart was pounding so loud, his face was close to hers and she could barely stand.
He stepped back and stretched his hands to her, she just stared at him.
"I can wait for you, so take as long as you need" he smiled.
"He had this dashing look on his face your grace, it was so romantic" Hannah was telling me of what happened while theo and I were on our date.
"We all knew stella liked him but who knew sir Henry could be so romantic" she giggled again.
She shifted on her legs, fidgeting.
"Do you have something else to tell me hannah?"
"Well.... your grace i don't know how to say it but.... "
"Its fine Hannah, you can tell me anything"
"I'm..... pregnant "
"Is that true " I stood up holding her hand as she laughed
"Yes your grace"
"Congratulations Hannah.... I'm so happy for you" she cried and I pulled her into a hug, she must have been worried about how I would react, but I'm truly happy for her.
"Let me know if you need anything, Hannah."
"Well....your grace, i know this might be rude of me but Cavill wishes to meet with you..... i know he offended, so I know you probably don't want to me him....."
"Stop there Hannah, its fine. If it's what you want, it's something I can easily do." She smiled brightly thanking me.
"How far along are you?"
"The doctor said 4 months" she stroked her already growing belle.
"So sir cavill is going to be a father, I'm sure he is really happy, he has always wanted a family" theo stroked my back as we lay down. I have never bothered to ask before but now I'm curious, seeing how happy Hannah looked, it made me want.
"What about you my love?" His hands stiffen a little.
"Theo?"
"I have never thought of it, i'll give it some more consideration going forward" he laughed awkwardly.
"Theo...."
"Time to sleep dear, we had a long day" he pulled me close. He was trying to avoid the topic, I wanted to press him for more information but it felt like a conversation that would hurt him.
I decided to see cavill the next day, he apologized for all he did and promised his sword would always be aimed at my enemies, If you remove his brash side he is kind of endearing. I decided to suspend him from captain of the second order and he was put on desk duty for 3 months, also he was put on probation any other incidents and he will be stripped of his knighthood. It was a light punishment considering what he did.
It was the second day of the festival and theo and I decided to go to the market today. Yesterday we watched a play and ate some street food. We went around just watching people enjoy the festival as it was filled with laughter.
Remembering that the festival was only possible with our monster subjugation it made the festival even more enjoyable.
"Sarah...." she stood there not replying me, she looked to be in a daze.
"Sarah" she jolted and ran to my side
"I'm sorry your grace... " you looked to be hiding something. She has been here for more than a month now, i thought she was adjusting properly was I wrong?
"Sarah what's wrong?" She hesitated, i walked to her grabbing her hand and she began to sob.
She had received a letter that countess dumont's health is getting worse and they were already preparing for the worst. She wanted to go see the countess one more time before it's too late but she didn't want to leave me alone.
"Sarah, i would never stop you from going to see the countess. She was the one who saved you and she is the reason we met."
"Your grace..... I'm "
"Its fine Sarah, you can go back and spend her last days with her and when you are ready you can coke back to my side. I'll always be here waiting for your return" she cried hugging me tight.