The morning sunlight streaming through my shop windows did little to dispel the strange emptiness that had settled in my chest since returning from Bandung. Normally, the golden hour glow dancing across my shelves of vanilla beans and cocoa powder would lift my spirits, but today the dust motes swirling in those beams just reminded me how stagnant everything felt without Kala's sudden, unpredictable visits.
Several days had passed since we returned from Bandung, but since then, Kala seemed to be deliberately avoiding me. He was usually the type who always wanted to know what I was up to and often dropped by my house unannounced, but lately, he hadn't done any of that. I didn't know if he was genuinely busy or if something was wrong.
Honestly, I missed him, but I held myself back from reaching out first. Maybe Kala needed time to sort out his feelings for me.
After he admitted he was still confused about the direction of our relationship and his fear of commitment, I couldn't help but wonder if he was distancing himself because of that uncertainty.
Kala had said he wanted to be with me, but that didn't guarantee he wouldn't walk away. His irrational fear might just push him further from me.
What could I even do? Nothing, probably. I didn't even feel like I was good enough for him.
The sharp scent of vanilla extract lingered in the air as I mechanically checked inventory lists on my computer, the numbers blurring together as my thoughts kept drifting. The shop's usual comforting aroma of cocoa and spices did little to soothe the restless knot in my chest.
"Bee, the premium vanilla essence we ordered last month has arrived. Should we repack it right away?" Bagas asked, standing at my office door. I lifted my gaze from the screen, blinking away my distraction.
"Yeah, go ahead and use the glass bottles we prepared yesterday," I replied. Bagas nodded and left.
With the year-end approaching, I needed to come up with promotions that would stand out. Next week, I had arranged for a well-known chef to do a cooking demo at the shop—something to draw in customers and boost sales. My forehead creased as I tried to brainstorm more ideas, but my mind kept circling back to Kala.
My hand hovered over the mouse, but instead of clicking, all I could see was Kala's face—specifically, the sorrow in his eyes when he confessed his fears. It was infuriating how much it distracted me.
For days now, I'd been stuck in this loop—thinking about Kala, restless, unable to shake off this unease.
Enough! Dwelling on him only made my head heavier. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, forcing myself to stand up and head to the shop. Maybe seeing the usual bustle, the neatly stacked baking supplies, or inhaling the familiar scents of various extracts would calm me down.
It was a lie to say I was fine after what Kala told me. Especially since he'd been acting differently since we got back from Bandung. Maybe I was the one at fault—letting personal feelings mix with business. Our relationship started as a professional arrangement. I shouldn't have blurred the lines.
The shop was quieter than usual this afternoon, but the subdued atmosphere helped ease my nerves a little. In a few days, I'd be filming a new ad. Hopefully, Kala wouldn't be there. I didn't want him wavering because of me. Ugh. Him again.
My eyes scanned the shelves absently. Maybe I should just go home. At least playing with Arkan would lift my mood.
The bell above the shop door jingled, but I barely registered it until Ocha appeared beside me, startling me.
"Bee, someone's asking for you," she said.
"Are they pitching a product?" I asked.
"Doesn't seem like it. Maybe a friend? They just said they wanted to see you. When I asked why, they didn't answer—just insisted on meeting you," Ocha explained.
For a second, I thought it might be Kala, but Ocha knew him. So who else would come looking for me here? I didn't have any friends close enough to visit me at work.
A man stood with his back to me near the customer seating area where Ocha said he was waiting. I cleared my throat, and when he turned—
My breath caught. My eyes widened.
Axel.
What the hell was he doing here? And why now?
"Oh, hey Bee," he greeted casually, as if we were old friends who'd lost touch. I exhaled sharply, irritation flaring. It had been years since we'd been this close, and the awkwardness settled heavily between us.
"What do you want?" I asked bluntly.
This man was unbelievable. After all this time, why show up now? Was it because of our run-in at Boga Rasa the other day?
"I didn't expect to see you at Boga Rasa the other day," he began, all fake pleasantries. My expression stayed rigid despite his relaxed tone.
"Is there an actual reason you came looking for me?" I cut in, ignoring his small talk. Axel chuckled, which only annoyed me more.
"Let's talk over there," I said, gesturing to a nearby table. He followed, taking a seat across from me.
"Nothing too important, really. I just wanted to see how you've been," he said, and the words made me sick.
"My life—good or bad—is none of your concern," I snapped.
Axel laughed again, and my grip tightened around the edge of the table.
"Just curious, I guess. It's been five years," he said. I stayed silent, keeping my face blank to show how little his words affected me.
"Especially since I saw you with Mr. Kala the other day," he added.
"If there's nothing else important to discuss, you should leave. I have a lot to do today," I interrupted sharply. I didn't want him dragging Kala into this—especially since Kala was a director at the company Axel worked for.
"You're so cold with me," Axel murmured, studying me. He should've asked himself why.
"We're not friends or anything else. I don't owe you warmth," I shot back.
The air between us grew heavier, thick with unspoken history. The shop's usual comforting hum of customers and clinking jars felt miles away, replaced by the suffocating weight of his presence.
The vanilla-scented air in my office suddenly felt stifling as Axel's presence lingered like a bad aftertaste. My fingers twitched toward the unfinished inventory reports, the numbers now swimming before my eyes—a perfect metaphor for how my carefully organized life kept unraveling whenever these men crossed my path.
Outside the office window, the afternoon sun cast long shadows across the shop floor, turning ordinary baking tools into strange silhouettes. The golden light caught the dust motes swirling between us, making the tension feel almost tangible, like we were suspended in amber—frozen in this uncomfortable moment between past and present.
"Bee?"
A familiar voice cut through the tension. My stomach dropped.
No. No, no, no.
"Mr. Kala?" Axel said, startled. I stiffened, refusing to turn toward the voice. This was the last thing I wanted.
"I've been calling you," Kala said to me. Normally, my heart would race just being near him, but now it pounded harder with Axel here.
"Oh... my phone's in my office," I replied quietly.
"Aren't you an employee at Aneka Boga?" Kala asked Axel, frowning slightly, as if trying to place him.
"Yes, Sir," Axel answered.
"What brings you here?" Kala's tone was edged with suspicion—Axel clearly wasn't here to shop.
"Binar and I are old friends," Axel said, smiling. My jaw clenched. Why not just say I was his ex-wife?
"I'll take my leave then, Sir," Axel said, feigning politeness as he stood. I exhaled the moment he was gone.
"I was going to ask you to lunch," Kala said once Axel left. I expected him to press about Axel, but the term "old friend" seemed enough for him.
I turned to Kala, confused. What was with this man? After days of ignoring me for reasons I didn't understand, now he showed up acting like nothing happened.
"Let me grab my phone and wallet first," I said, meaning for him to wait, but Kala followed me to my office.
"I didn't know that Aneka Boga employee was an old friend of yours," he remarked once we were inside. I mumbled a response—Axel was the last person I wanted to discuss right now.
Kala's eyes looked tired, and a pang of sympathy hit me. Had he been overworking himself these past few days?
"Are you okay?" I asked, studying him closely.
"Of course I am. Why do you ask?" He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Because you've been ignoring me for days," I said softly, immediately regretting it. He wasn't supposed to know how much it affected me.
"Did you feel neglected?" he asked, stepping closer.
"A little," I admitted, fighting the flutter in my chest.
Kala's lips curved. "I'm glad to hear that."
Kala's arms around me radiated warmth through the thin fabric of my blouse, his familiar sandalwood scent cutting through the lingering bitterness Axel left behind. I could feel his steady heartbeat against my back, its rhythm syncopating with my own frantic pulse—two conflicting tempos that somehow created perfect harmony in this embrace.
Then, without warning, his arms circled my waist from behind, pulling me into a hug.
Was it okay if I let myself enjoy this? (*)