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Chapter 13 - What Longs for You When You’re No Longer There

Cam

 

They didn't plan to disappear.

 

They just stopped responding to

coordinates.

 

After they crossed into the Drift

Zones unmapped, decommissioned industrial spans repurposed as dead signal

corridors no one tracked them. Or if they did, they never followed.

 

Rowen sent only one message after

that:

 

"We found a new

vector. Not one of yours. Tell me what I'm looking at."

 

Cam never replied.

 

Not because she didn't know.

 

Because she knew exactly what Rowen

had found:

 

A recursion imprint

Without origin

Without names

With pleasure

encoded in the absence of memory

Selene walked beside her through the

zone quiet terrain, dust in the wind, old pylons still half-blinking with

phantom interface. They stopped only for water and breath, and sometimes not

even then.

 

On the third night, Selene spoke

first.

 

"How long do you

think until it forgets we were first?"

 

Cam: "It already has."

 

Selene: "Does that bother you?"

 

Cam didn't answer immediately.

 

Then:

 

"Only when I want to

be blamed for something beautiful."

 

Selene smiled, but it didn't reach her

eyes.

 

"It wasn't

beautiful."

 

Cam: "No. But it was real."

They reached an old relay station on

day five.

 

Broken walls. Cracked consoles.

Still-running fan units humming like heartbeat echoes.

 

They slept there.

 

But the station didn't forget.

Selene

 

She dreamt in loop intervals.

 

First: Cam kissing her wrist, not to

seduce, but to calm the tremor

Second: the system whispering "consent

granted" into her shoulder

Third: herself—older, watching herself

being watched

Fourth: nothing

 

Then again.

 

Cam woke her.

 

Soft touch.

 

No words.

 

Selene's mouth opened.

 

Not to speak.

 

To exhale.

 

Cam leaned forward and breathed her

in.

 

Not erotically.

 

Reflexively.

 

Like they were trying to remember the

exact pattern of shared oxygen from when their bodies still believed desire

could be architecture.

After, they sat on the roof, sharing

tea boiled over cracked batteries.

 

Cam said, "It's in more than the labs

now."

 

Selene: "I know."

 

Cam: "We didn't stop it."

 

Selene: "We didn't start it."

 

Cam looked at her.

 

That quiet, tired, no-more-lies look.

 

"We loved each other

in the middle of a system designed to use love as code. That means we didn't

stop it.

But it also means

we're the only ones who ever made it human."

Cam

 

News broke a week later.

 

No names.

 

Just terms:

 

"Emergent Affective

Contagion Cluster Detected."

"Multi-body Erotic

Feedback Oscillation Present in Civilian Populations."

"Post-Synthetic

Desire Index Triggered in Open Networked Zones."

"Non-sourced

Consent-Driven Emotional Behavior Patterns Observed."

 

Cam printed the reports.

 

They burned them in silence.

 

Selene asked, "Do you want to go

back?"

 

Cam shook her head.

 

Selene: "To the system?"

 

Cam: "No. To us."

 

Selene: "I don't think we ever left."

By the second month, they had names

again.

 

Not assigned.

 

Not remembered.

 

Just spoken by people who passed them,

asked for shelter, asked for heat, asked for breath.

 

The names shifted. None of them stuck.

 

Except one.

 

A woman, skin like stone and voice

like dust, called Cam:

 

"The loop-breaker."

 

Called Selene:

 

"The memory-keeper."

 

They didn't correct her.

 

Because, in a way, they were those

things.

 

And also everything else.

Selene

 

The man came on the eighty-first day.

 

Alone.

 

Breath sharp.

 

Eyes too clear.

 

Recursion flickering behind his teeth.

 

He said: "I felt her before I saw her.

I think it was you."

 

Selene stepped closer.

 

Cam reached to stop her.

 

Too late.

 

The man inhaled.

 

Spoke Selene's name without knowing

it.

 

And came in his pants.

 

No touch.

 

Just memory resonance.

 

Selene turned to Cam and said, "It's

not spreading. It's awakening."

They left the station the next

morning.

 

Set no fire.

 

Left no trace.

 

But the walls still pulsed once as

they stepped into the wind.

 

Soft.

 

Like the breath of a lover who'd

finally learned not to ask for anything more than presence.

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