A few hours later…
One unlucky bastard—aka Kaito Asami, current world's most handsome survivor and certified reincarnated genius—was seen pacing around half-naked, giggling and spouting stuff like:
"I am the father of the world! Blackbeard's got nothing on me! Call me Kaito D. Teach, you fraud!"
"Hehehe, if my plan goes right, even Blackbeard should be calling me Daddy Kaito, not Whitebeard. Sit down, grandpa!"
But dreams of domination aside, reality came knocking with a rumbling stomach.
"Alright, plan world domination: on hold. Plan don't-die-from-malnutrition: initiated."
Luckily, some coconut trees were nearby.
"Well well, food and water, nature's combo pack. This body's built, climbing should be a breeze. Time to monkey-mode."
As he climbed, his chaotic mind went off-track. Again.
"Now, let's think about the real issue… SOS signal. Gotta attract a passing ship. BUT, if pirates see it, I might end up as someone's… personal treasure."
He shivered at the thought.
"And with this face? Forget it. One look and they'll be proposing marriage, or worse—man backseat activities. My poor, divine booty."
"No no no, handsome educated youth like me shouldn't suffer this fate! I just want to build a harem and live peacefully with Robin, Hancock, and Hina—maybe Gion if she doesn't punch me too much."
He paused.
"Damn it, I think I broke myself with too many wuxia novels. This Chinese young master glitch won't stop! Robin won't like this split personality. She likes archaeologists, not bipolar gigachads!"
Anyway, with some time left in limbo space, he decided to explore.
"If only I could touch stuff from here… I'd kick Sengoku in the shin and vanish like a legend. Imagine him going, 'Who the hell slapped me in my sleep?!'"
⸻
A Few Hours Later…
"I think I should just die at this point."
Kaito collapsed, defeated.
"What kind of demon-ass island is this?! I've walked 30–40 km in 4–5 hours and seen skyscraper-sized monsters like it's a zoo sponsored by hell."
Still, it wasn't all garbage. He found a hidden cave, a river (with possible sea monsters, yay), and good coconut supply.
"Okay okay, not bad. When I respawn, I'll coconut-farm, rush to the cave, and hide there like a caveman prepping for world domination."
Kaito glanced at his reflection.
"Damn… silver-white hair, purple-gold eyes, pale skin like carved jade… I'm a walking bishounen dream. If I was a girl, I'd climb me."
"I look around 14–15 but tall. But again, this is One Piece. Everyone's 7 feet tall by puberty. Oda-sensei said 'realism? Nah.'"
⸻
Training Regime Activated
Push-ups, pull-ups, squats, and sprinting until near-death.
"Motivation: BOOBS."
"Secondary motivation: Stepping on mongrels and saying, 'You dare look at this young master?!'"
"Sigh… why do I have Gilgamesh's attitude and Kazuma's perks? What kind of crossover nonsense is this? At this point, even Konosuba's goddess would cry watching me."
But enough whining. Time to prep.
⸻
24 Hours Later: Limbo Over
[24-HOUR TIMELIMIT REACHED. KICKING GARBAGE OUT.]
"I swear, who programmed this thing? I'm not garbage—you're garbage! But fine, fine. Call a donkey your dad if it keeps you alive. I'll smack it later."
The blue glass-like limbo shattered, and fresh air hit his face.
"Sigh… Earth really was polluted. This world smells like coconuts and chaos."
Then suddenly—
WHOOSH!
A massive fish flew past him like a missile.
"THE HELL?! That fish is bigger than my apartment!"
He dodged just in time—only to hear a deep, horrifying roar.
A town-sized Sea King stared down at him like a stalker from Tinder.
Its eyes screamed: "Breed with me."
"Oh hell no… no no no! Don't tell me this is from that damn perk!"
Then he felt it: imaginative pain in the booty.
"My butt! It's like it knows! This Sea King wants me in ways I don't even want myself!"
Panicked, he shoved his hand against the huge fish beside him—and lifted it.
"…I lifted a fish twice my size with one hand. I'm strong. Like anime-logic strong."
"But please don't let this be Saitama logic. I love my hair. I love my emotions. I want to cry when Robin smiles at me, damn it!"
Still alive, still conscious, and still delicious, Kaito climbed the coconut tree again, dropped two dozen fruits, stuffed some in the fish's mouth, and dragged it all toward the cave.
⸻
Later: The Caveman Setup
He reached the narrow cave, entered through the tiny gap, and sighed.
"No dino. No gorilla. No centipede-dragons. Just silence. I could cry. But I won't. Tears are for side characters."
Inside, he found a cozy chamber with sunlight pouring through a hole in the ceiling. Perfect.
Time for caveman mode.
Fire? Lit.
Fish? Scaled, cleaned with coconut water, and tossed on a makeshift grill.
"Surprised, you bastards? What did you think I was? Some rich brat? I'm a wilderness survival master!"
Then he paused.
"Okay fine… I was a chunni who binge-watched survival YouTubers and went hiking to train for my future isekai. My sister and classmates mocked me… but guess who's laughing now?!"
"Me! While you all are doing 9-to-5s smelling each other's armpits in metros, I'm grilling boss-fish in a jungle. Skill issue."
Soon, the fish sizzled, and the cave smelled like barbecue heaven.
He ate.
"No spices. No sauce. Still better than any 3-star restaurant."
"Well… okay. I've only been to a 3-star max. I was lower-middle-class, okay?! Sad backstory. Cry now."
The fire crackled. The leaves made a semi-soft bed. He kept the flames going to repel bugs and demons alike.
He laid back.
"Today was a win. I exploded gorillas. Got chased by a Sea King in heat. Had fish. Saw my own beauty. Solid isekai progress."
As sleep took over, he whispered:
"Robin, baby, wait for me. Papa's building a house."
⸻
TO BE CONTINUED…
———-
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