"Hello! I am the almighty god Aqua! As you might know, you have been selected to be reincarnated!"
"…"
"Hello?"
"…"
"…Wait. How long has he been here?"
[world system: 999999999999 years. Subject is, in other words, brain dead.]
Aqua's bright, cheerful smile froze on her face. Her blue eyes darted left and right. "Uh oh. Shit. I am SO screwed!"
The useless goddess began pacing in frantic little circles, muttering under her breath. "No no no no… If Eris finds out she'll make me clean the afterlife toilets for another hundred years! Or worse, actually do paperwork!"
Suddenly, the lightbulb in her mostly empty skull flickered.
"Ah! I've got it! World, grant him—uh—mental resilience! Max level! That should fix everything!"
[world system: granted 'Fourth Wall Awareness' to user $#%%%. Congratulations on breaking reality.]
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The man jolted upright with a scream so loud it rattled Aqua's earrings. His eyes were wide, pupils swirling as if trying to take in the infinite void around them.
"Hello human! I am the almighty god Aqua!" she chirped, clapping her hands together and forcing a bright smile.
"H-how long… has it been…?" he croaked, voice raw.
"Uhh… that's not really important right now—"
[world system: approximately 999999999999 years.]
"WORLD WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!" Aqua shrieked, stomping her foot.
The man just stared into the distance, his mouth opening and closing. "I've… been here for nine hundred ninety-nine billion, nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine years…"
"WELL ANYWAY!" Aqua clapped her hands so hard it echoed like a gunshot. "You're going to be reincarnated now, so… what does it matter! Moving on!"
The man's eye twitched. "I've been here for nearly a trillion years…"
Aqua leaned away with a nervous laugh. "Uhhh… let's get to it…"
"What… can I expect?" he finally asked, his voice hollow.
Aqua visibly sagged in relief. "Oh thank me, you can still talk. You will spin different wheels to decide your next life! It's very fun!"
"Okay…"
She brightened instantly. "First spin! This one will decide your appearance and body!"
She snapped her fingers, and a colossal colorful wheel appeared, floating in the void. It had options scrawled haphazardly on it in crayon: 'Slime,' 'Kitsune,' 'Cthulhu spawn,' 'Enkidu (Fate).' There was also one just labeled '???' that seemed to be dripping blood.
The man's soul visibly paled. "This is how you decide people's destinies? With… a children's party wheel?!"
"Spinny spinny!" Aqua cheered, ignoring him completely.
Tick… tick… tick… DING!
[world system: user $#%%% has acquired body template: Enkidu (Fate/Nasuverse).]
"Fate? Wait. Isn't that an anime about psycho mages and eldritch horror holy grails? How does that even make sense in reincarnation terms?"
A crackle of thunder rumbled ominously behind Aqua. She twiddled her thumbs, looking away. "Ahaha… I might have forgotten to mention that all anime worlds are technically real. Multiverse stuff. Wibbly wobbly. Details."
A vein bulged on the man's forehead. "So basically… you're throwing me into a blender of fictional worlds… with a body from a universe where people kill each other over a literal wish cup."
"Second spin!" Aqua shouted abruptly.
Tick… tick… tick… DING!
[world system: user $#%%% has acquired ability: Wood Release (Hashirama Senju), Naruto.]
"…Wood Release, huh. Well that's… actually pretty awesome."
"But what happens if I get dropped into, I don't know, Lord of the Mysteries? Or Earth? Then I'll be a glorified gardener with no chakra network to use it!"
"Wow. You are a real glass-half-empty kind of guy, huh?" Aqua said, pouting.
"Third spin!" She spun again before he could argue.
Tick… tick… tick… DING!
[world system: user $#%%% has acquired item: Mori Mori no Mi (Forest-Forest Fruit), One Piece.]
"…Is the world trying to tell me something?"
"BAHAHAHA!" Aqua doubled over, clutching her stomach. "You're like a walking eco-park! Or Mother Nature's favorite child!"
Another tick mark formed on the man's forehead. "Hilarious. Truly."
"Haha… ahem. Okay, last spin—this one's for your world!"
Tick… tick… tick… DING!
[world system: destination selected — Re:Zero world.]
"…Aw HELL nah."
"Well good luck Mr. Tree! And here we go—" Aqua snapped her fingers.
[world system: ERROR. Reality overload detected.]
"W-Whut?! Why is it saying error?!"
[world system: due to user $#%%% being exposed to 999999999999 years of void time, the previous compensation was deemed inadequate.]
"What does that mean?!" Aqua squeaked, her voice rising several octaves.
[world system: recalculating adequate compensation… granting private Tensura system.]
"…Huh. Wait, that's actually—"
[world system: compensation still inadequate. Fusing Tensura system with custom leveling system. Adjustment complete.]
"OH COME ON, THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Aqua wailed. "Why does he get a super OP system package? I was stuck with a party of two idiots and a suicidal knight!"
[world system: world transfer commencing. Good luck.]
"Hold on, world—!"
But before anyone could protest, a brilliant pillar of light swallowed the man. His last sight was Aqua's shocked face getting smaller and smaller, until it all went white.
AN:
guess whos back back again.
yea no i have been gone for about a month now and what has my progress been on the diffrent fanfics?
none.
instead i created 3 more fanfics instead of finishing the others im so brilliant.
the other 2 fanfics i created was reinhard (rezero) in fate and yu (the boxer) in blue lock.